•July 2, 2012 • 89 Comments

Screen Shot 2016-08-22 at 7.52.06 PM.png

730

•August 25, 2016 • 14 Comments

Screen Shot 2016-08-15 at 12.19.43 PM

Thursday. It’s still very warm and sunny and I’m enjoying every second of it.
As I mentioned yesterday, I had the plan to use the chainsaw this week. We rarely get dry weather so every chance I get, it’s like “now or never”.
But the way things are going right now, everything indicates that “never” it’s what’s going to be.

You see, using a chainsaw is… I couldn’t tell. I read the instructions manual and I got terribly scared.

The explanation on how to use it, is one paragraph long. How to prepare the chainsaw before use, two pages long (I have to assemble it myself). The safety rules, three pages long. And then you have four more pages with “additional safety rules”. WTF!

You have no idea how many warnings there are, how many things you have to prepare before working and how many things you have to pay attention to, while you are working.
It also advices not to work when children are around and not to work if you are alone.
“Always work within shouting distance of a second person”. So if I plan to do something, I’ll have to ask my neighbor 4.5 hours in advance so she can be ready in case she has to drive me somewhere to get help.

It also says to have a first aid box at hand. (Which sounded funny to me, in case I chop off a hand while working).

Then it suggests what to do in case you have to report an accident:

-Where did the accident happen? (My house)
-What happened? (I chopped off an arm with a chainsaw)
-How many persons are injured? (Only me, can’t you tell I’m a f#$king spinster?! If I had someone, do you think they’d let me do this crazy job?!)
-What injuries do they have? (Were you not paying any attention? I had to do the f#$king work myself because I’m a spinster!!)
-Who is reporting the accident? (THE F#$KING SPINSTER!!)

Ugh… I wouldn’t want to go through that conversation.

So my idea of chopping off some branches wearing my flip flops is forgotten. I also have to forget wearing shorts. Or t-shirts. Or jewelry. Or having my hair lose. Or not wearing a helmet. Or having unprotected eyes and ears.
Don’t forget the special shoes with non-slip soles and steel toes.
I do have gloves but that’s not enough. It seems that an armor is needed.

As you can see, I’m a bit disheartened. I shouldn’t have waited so long to start doing it. Who knows how much time I’ll need to be ready to do it.
And I was really looking forward to it.
Just imagine me holding the chainsaw while wearing a nice dress and a tiara with a naughty face.
I wanted to pass a message to all the girls in this world reminding them that they can do whatever they want, no matter who they are or how they look like.
But tiara and chainsaw don’t go together (unless you wear the tiara under the safety helmet).

I was a bit sad this morning. I don’t like to feel discouraged. When I do, everything looks dark and I don’t feel like doing anything at all.
I was kind of weepy when I decided to take an online test:
“What color is your energy?”

Mine is “lilac”

Screen Shot 2016-08-25 at 8.54.49 AM

The stupid test lifted my spirits a bit so I guess I’ll be assembling the freaking chainsaw soon!

If you also want to take the test, you can find it here.

729

•August 24, 2016 • 12 Comments

Screen Shot 2016-08-15 at 12.19.12 PM

Wednesday. The missing thing. There is always a thing missing. As we say in my country: “Siempre faltan 5 para el peso”. Always missing $0.05 to reach $1. I’m sure there is an expression in English but I can’t find it now.
So it’s like this, I could achieve something but not quite, there is always that little bit missing.

I mentioned a few days ago about my front and backyard looking like a jungle. It’s not only the grass what gives the wild look, all the bushes, plants and trees grew out of proportion, so after two years I decided to get a chainsaw and a grass trimmer because garden scissors and the manual edger are not enough.
I knew the trimmer needed a string so I ordered that too. I got the string on Saturday together with the chainsaw. But I didn’t get the trimmer so I couldn’t do my job.

Screen Shot 2016-08-18 at 5.03.22 PM

Then I decided to use the chainsaw but I discovered that it needs oil to work which I didn’t know so I didn’t order it. I thought: “Never mind, I can get the oil at the store across the street”. But of course they didn’t have the one I needed. “OK then, I wait until Monday when the other store is open and I get it there”. I could have ordered it online but I hate paying more for delivery than for what I’m buying.

Monday I went to the store and the smallest jug of oil they had was 3 liters (+/- 3/4 of a gallon). I think that’s enough oil to fry 2 turkeys or to fell one forest. Anyway, I’ll end up getting it because I’m not paying for the delivery of a smaller bottle.
“OK, let’s read the instructions manual and get the f#$king job done.” No, again, not quite.
Operating a chainsaw is NOT what I expected to be. Not that I expected anything but I just wanted to take the machine and chop everything off. It didn’t happen.

Yesterday I got the trimmer but guess what? The f#$king battery wasn’t included in the box. The stupid store sells the machine WITHOUT the battery. And not only that, the battery costs twice the price of the machine. F#$k the f#$king f#$k.

Yes, I’m pissed off. The weather is dry and I could be doing something but I can’t because there is ALWAYS something missing.

You may be thinking: “Go get the oil and kill some trees!”. I thought about it and tomorrow I’ll explain why I didn’t do it yet.
Just bear in mind that I took 1.5 years to use the pressure cooker because I was scared of it. And if you think a bit, the pressure cooker could never let me armless (or headless).

728

•August 23, 2016 • 10 Comments

728

Tuesday. The sun is shining and it’s supposed to be warm outside but I have a sweater on and feel cold.
I have this strange feeling in my stomach and I can’t pinpoint what it is.
I feel very uncomfortable, like if something is missing.
I hope it’s only the chocolate peanuts I had for breakfast that are playing tricks on me. I really don’t need any crap coming my way.

My legs are smooth, I don’t have my period, the sun is shining, the house is kind of clean and my kids are not here. So, WTF is wrong with me? I should be drinking wine in the backyard instead of looking miserable and staring at the screen like if I were trying to find an answer.

Maybe I should get the bottle opener now.

727

•August 22, 2016 • 17 Comments

727

Monday. Another dark and rainy day. The weather forecast says it’s going to be very warm and sunny the rest of the week. I’ll believe it when I see it and I really hope to see it. I don’t want another super long winter, I want nice weather until the end of October. It happened before and I hope it happens again.

Yesterday I ended up watching more movies (that I hated) and working on my art project at the same time.
While watching the movies I wondered, can something be funny without having to be super gross? I’m not sure what happened the past years or if it’s just me but I feel like real humor is lost and nasty humor took it’s place.
I have to admit that some things make me laugh but I hate when the entire movie goes around disgusting things. It starts with something that almost makes you gag and it turns worse and worse every minute.
Probably it’s only me getting old. Whatever it is, I don’t like it.
I don’t mind dirty jokes because I have a pretty dirty mouth and mind, but is the creepy and disgusting that turns me off.
But it seems to be the only thing that works because more and more movies gravitate towards revolting.
I guess that’s why I find it so difficult to like a movie nowadays.

I worry because my kids will be watching those movies soon and I don’t see good examples there at all.
It’s indignant. What are They “feeding” us and why? It’s like They want us to lose all kind of values and respect and forget the important.
Everything has to be gross or it won’t succeed. The more blood they show, the more people they attract. The grosser a movie is, the fuller theaters are. WTF!!

Sorry, but I’m not ready for the real world. I rather stay in my fairy tale waiting for My Prince to rescue me. This is not a place for a Princess like me.

726

•August 21, 2016 • 12 Comments

Screen Shot 2016-08-15 at 12.16.55 PM

Sunday. This is not exactly the most productive weekend of the year but for some reason, I’m quite relaxed. Let’s see for how long it’ll last.
I watched 4 movies so far and I can’t believe I liked 3 of them VERY much. That’s rare.
Did you see “The Intouchables”? It’s a French movie from 2011. It’s based on a true story. It was really long ago the last time a movie made me laugh so much and moved me at the same time. It’s about a quadriplegic man and his caregiver. It’s real and honest. If you like movies that leave you a message, I think this is the movie for you.
Let me warn you that I’m not a movie critic and I admit of having a particular taste in movies.

Now I’m debating what to do next. I don’t want to spend the rest of the day on the couch, not because I feel like I’m wasting my life but because my back starts to hurt after a while. I’d love to continue working on my art project but I hate to do it with artificial light and it’s so sad and dark outside.

This is the typical boring Sunday. The kind of day that daydreaming could be dangerous. The kind of day that I could start missing everything. The kind of day that anything could trigger a thought of how things should be and are not.
A very, very long day when time seems to be stuck and at the same time, it seems to be going really fast.

It’s again one of those days…

725

•August 20, 2016 • 15 Comments

Screen Shot 2016-08-15 at 12.16.35 PM

Saturday. I mentioned before that my next door neighbor is also single. She’s a hairdresser and she’s never home. She could be any age between 30 and 50.
I can’t say we are friends but we have a very nice relationship. We watch each other’s houses and we keep informed when one of us is not home.

After about 1.5 years of living here we got to talk a bit longer and we agreed that one of these weekends we were going out.
Some months ago she came by and we arranged to go out the following Saturday. On Friday evening she came again to cancel because they had found out her mom was sick and she didn’t feel like going out or partying at all. She said: “When this is over, we make a new appointment.”
“No problem”.

A couple of weeks ago she came again and ask me if I’d like to go out the following Saturday. I told her my kids were going to be here but the week after that, was perfect. So we made an appointment for today.

A few days ago I saw her while she was going to work and she asked me: “Are we still going out this Saturday?”
“Of course! I have a question though. At what time more or less should I be ready?”
“Hmmmm… Let me see. I get off work at 5pm and I’ll get here about 5.30pm. Then I need to shower and get ready. I’d say…”
When I was about to say 6.30-7.00, she beat me saying: “Is 10 o’clock good?”
I was SHOCKED. Holy f#$k! The woman needs 4.5 hours to get ready??
And then I understood.
You see, she wears make up. A LOT of make up. I mean, layers and layers of it. If I hadn’t seen her without make up before, I wouldn’t recognize her at all.

When we were about to go to Italy, I wanted to tell her that my house was going to be alone for about 10 days but I could never catch her so I thought the best idea was to call her as soon as possible while we were on the road and let her know.
I have her phone number stuck on my fridge since January 2015 when she came by, introduced herself and asked me if I knew that the police was in our backyards a couple of nights before. I didn’t know that because I was in Spain visiting my cousins. That day we exchanged phone numbers and decided to keep in touch and look after each other since we were both alone.
The evening before we left, I went to the fridge and took a picture of her phone number with the intention of asking my son how to add it to my contacts because I had no idea how to do it.
Next morning, the first thing I did was asking my son to add the number just in case I forgot. He took the phone, add the number and the name and then a picture appeared on the screen.
“IS THAT THE NEIGHBOR?!?!” He asked very surprised.
“Holy shit! It has to be. Name and number match”
“She doesn’t look at all like her. How can that be?”
“That’s either called: make up or photoshop.”

To give you an idea, I decided to show you a picture. Because we know “a picture says more than a thousand words”.

That’s not her but the resemblance is incredible. The before AND the after.

Screen Shot 2016-08-20 at 12.28.43 PM

Now we all can understand those 4.5 hours.
I believe I’m very lucky. I never needed or wanted to wear make up.
I have to admit that the past year I bought a few lipsticks and eye shadows and I’m ready to use them soon. I’m practicing how to do it because that’s a “foreign language” to me.

And if you want to know, I won’t be going out today either. She cancelled me again because she forgot she already had an appointment.
I told her: “Never mind, next time. You can even tell me one hour in advance and I’ll be ready for you waiting”.
I was going to say half an hour but I didn’t want to brag.

724

•August 19, 2016 • 4 Comments

Screen Shot 2016-08-15 at 12.16.11 PM

Friday. I have a very clear idea of what I want to write about but for some reason, I can’t transcribe it. I don’t have the words and I just deleted the first attempt because it was too long and lacking substance.
Let’s go with some examples and then you probably can relate and will understand what this post is about.

Did you ever date someone and for some reason the relationship ended (because they left you or because you got tired) and the other person realized too late (when you moved on) that they cared about you but you could only think about: “You shouldn’t have neglected me”.
Or, maybe you were trying to conquest someone and tried and tried but they were never interested until the day you decided to move on and then they suddenly realized how much they cared about you?

You don’t know how much something is worth until you lose it. Right?

A few times I had the guy who I wanted for months going after me just when I decided I didn’t care about them anymore.
I also told my ex many times: “You shouldn’t act this way because I’ll get tired of this crap and leave”
“Yeah? And where are you going? Do you think someone will want you with so many kids? You are lucky you have me!”

I hate saying: “I told yo so”… But I did told them so and not because I felt I was super important and irreplaceable but because I couldn’t believe someone couldn’t care less about their own relationship or happiness.

Once I was head over heels about this guy Pedro. I really liked him and was after him for over a year. He didn’t want me until the day I decided to move on. I’ll tell that story another time .

Why is it that some men and women CANNOT see what they have until it’s too late?
Sometimes I feel like teaching them a lesson with the idea of warning them: “I’m serious now, either you want/take/keep me, or I’m gone with the wind”.

Screen Shot 2016-08-19 at 10.53.16 AM

And IT’S FRIDAY, I’M IN LOVE! And this song always makes me smile because I remember singing it and dancing with my youngest son in my arms while he was a baby. I didn’t understand the words and I always thought the woman was saying: “I’m a single lady”. So I sang that pretty loud just after I had left my ex. I never got married so all my life I’ve been a single lady but those days I felt more single than ever.
I was badly depressed at the time but I couldn’t stop shaking my ass, dancing and smiling while listening to this song. The power it gave me after I left the asshole, was unbelievable.

Enjoy Beyonce if you can because I heard that this song was on the radio ALL the time and you could listen to it everywhere and that got everyone tired of it.
So, try to get the message of it and remember to take care of what’s really important to you because you may regret not having done it so when you had the chance.

SINGLE LADIES
(written by Christopher Stewart, Jr. Harrell, Terius Nash & Beyonce Knowles)

All the single ladies,( all the single ladies)
All the single ladies, (all the single ladies)
All the single ladies, (all the single ladies)
All the single ladies Now put your hands up

Up in the club (club), we just broke up (up), I’m doing my own little thing.
Decided to dip (dip) and now you wanna trip (trip)
‘Cause another brother noticed me

I’m up on him, he up on me
Don’t pay him any attention
Just cried my tears, for three good years
You can’t get mad at me

‘Cause if you liked it, then you should have put a ring on it
If you liked it, then you shoulda put a ring on it
Don’t be mad once you see that he want it
‘Cause if you liked it, then you shoulda put a ring on it
oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh x2

If you liked it, then you should have put a ring on it
If you liked it, then you t be mad once you see that he want it
Don’t be mad once you see that he want it
If you liked it, then you shoulda put a ring on it

I got gloss on my lips, a man on my hips
Got me tighter in my carry-on jeans
Acting up, drink in my cup
I can care less what you think

I need no permission, did I mention
Don’t pay him any attention
‘Cause you had your turn, and now you gonna learn
What it really feels like to miss me

‘Cause if you liked it, then you should have put a ring on it
If you liked it, then you shoulda put a ring on it
Don’t be mad once you see that he want it
‘Cause if you liked it, then you shoulda put a ring on it
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Don’t treat me to these things of the world
I’m not that kind of girl
Your love is what I prefer, what I deserve
Is a man that makes me then takes me
And delivers me to a destiny, to infinity and beyond
Pull me into your arms
Say I’m the one you want
If you don’t, you’ll be alone
And like a ghost I’ll be gone

All the single ladies,( all the single ladies)
All the single ladies, (all the single ladies)
All the single ladies, (all the single ladies)
All the single ladies Now put your hands up
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

‘Cause if you liked it, then you should have put a ring on it
If you liked it, then you shoulda put a ring on it
Don’t be mad once you see that he want it
If you liked it, then you shoulda put a ring on it
Oh, oh, oh.

If you liked it, then you should have put a ring on it
If you liked it, then you shoulda put a ring on it
Don’t be mad once you see that he want it
If you liked it, then you shoulda put a ring on it, oh oh oh

 
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 311 other followers