475 days to go

April 19th – 1 year 3 months and 19 days from today

11.50am Short night. I stayed playing slot machines on-line for two hours after I said I was going to sleep. I woke up around 5.30am and I’m awake since.
I went to the supermarket earlier. Alone!! FULL of people. Easter fever I guess.
I got some chocolate eggs, I’m smiling. I love chocolate.
Soon I have to go again to the supermarket, this time to Germany for the big shopping. I know already how my mood will be when I’m back.
Tomorrow we are meeting the man’s aunt to spend Easter together. We are going to a small amusement park. The weather should be nice. She doesn’t want us in her flat anymore… No wonder why :). I’m super glad about it… I really don’t want to be there… Where the time stops… My kids are not happy in such a small flat crowded with clutter that they can’t touch. Imagine this floor to ceiling bookshelves from the seventies, dark brown. Only with 7 books on the top shelf and 777 tiny things (from silver spoons to wooden cars, baptism souvenirs, energetic pyramids and things that don’t even have a name, just plain clutter).

My kids really have to restrain themselves from touching all that. For a long time, the woman expected us to have them all under control, like if they were preprogrammed robots. One day, she said something to the man about the kids touching her stuff (and I’m not sure if I ever told you, when he has enough, he just EXPLODES… And you can hear him from wherever you are). I wish I had filmed him… I think she remained quiet for the rest of the day.
Next time we visited, we found that she had emptied all the lower shelves… it took like 11 years for her to realize that kids like touching things.
Also imagine that she doesn’t speak Spanish and when my kids break something the man says to me with a smile: “One less piece of crap that we won’t have to get rid of when she dies”. It’s so hard to hide my laughter then. Anyway, I don’t think next time he will include me with the cleaning plans.

So tomorrow I’ll be sitting somewhere, watching my kids play and hoping the park has wifi. Or it’ll be a long day… And I don’t enjoy the rides much and I don’t enjoy her criticizing everyone around.
And his mom could be also there. We just have that feeling. Because she likes to spoil my life so she gives those kind of surprises. She comes announced. And then has the nerve to ask me if I’m happy that she’s here. This morning I said to the man, this time is she asks, I’m not sure I’ll be able to come up with a pleasing excuse, I think I’ll go with: “It’s OK as long I don’t have to change my plans because you are here”. I had enough too. And I won’t make any noise, but I hope I can make her explode inside and pay back all the suffering that she caused me. And do it all with a smile. (Oh yes, I can be that way… I don’t choose to, unless people really ask for it… And trust me, she’s begging me for years!).
I feel better already 🙂

Here my promised red azalea and some of my neighbor’s yellow flowers.

~ by DotedOn on April 19, 2014.