444 days to go


May 20th – 1 year 2 months and 18 days from today

9.46am Again the stomachache woke me. And I’m not planning to go and see a doctor, so I better calm down. And that was what I was doing yesterday before preparing dinner. I was on my bed, breathing and relaxing until my oldest son came to me. He decided to lay close to me. Minutes after, my third son came and I don’t remember how or why, they started to fight and broke my peace.
Then my third son went to his dad and soon after, I had the man saying why didn’t I avoid the fight. I tried… I didn’t succeed. And while I was taking his shit, my sons went downstairs and the oldest let my third son outside in the backyard. So my third son decided to knock the door (glass) shouting for someone to open it. And since nobody did (I have to admit that I was being shouted upstairs and didn’t hear a thing), he took a broomstick and hit it so hard that he broke it. We didn’t hear it either, we only wondered why my third son was ringing the front’s door bell. So I asked my older son: “Why is your brother outside?” “I think that he climbed the back door and went around” “But why was he outside?” “Because I let him outside and locked the door so he calmed down” “You have no right of punishing your siblings, now go and open”.
And then I heard my third son shouting: “I’M BLEEDING” and my oldest son shouting “WTF! WHAT DID YOU DO???” So I rushed downstairs and saw the glass broken and my son’s hand bleeding (tiny cut), and got out of control. But that was nothing… When I went upstairs to the man and said what had happened, he blamed me and said he wasn’t going to do a thing and that I was going to have to take care of it myself… And he shouted at me SO LOUD that I couldn’t do other thing than cry and say: “The humiliation I have to go through every time you shout at me and the whole neighborhood hears, it’s unimaginable”… Then I left crying, went to my room, took a napkin, dried my tears and went downstairs to pick the glasses and start dinner.
I guess he got what a major ass he was because he went to the neighbor to ask what to do, call the insurance and after 25 minutes, a 24 hours glass service man was changing the glass.
He even called his students to say he was going to be late for the lesson (he teaches Italian to adults and yesterday was the last class). So I said I was going to bake cookies for them because he took care of the glass and added: “It’s useless to hate each other and be in a constant battle. We’ll be always connected, we have 5 kids together… and that’s not going to change”.
I only hope he finds a house soon. But I know he’s still here because he knows how much I want him to leave… So I guess I’m going to have to figure a way that he does the opposite I want and finally moves… SOON.

Some spring now. That’s the park where we went last Sunday. It’s in Gronau, Germany. And those are rhododendrons that grow everywhere around. They look very pretty.

photo 1

photo 2

~ by DotedOn on May 20, 2014.

2 Responses to “444 days to go”

  1. 😦 😦 😦 we need to talk soon…. You can´t live like this anymore


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