410 days to go


June 23rd – 1 year 1 month and 15 days from today

9.13am Having breakfast. The man is working from home and we already know what that means… I have a cake in the oven because in one hour I should go to school for the farewell of the kids that are finishing this year and the ones going back to their countries. Still nobody knows that I’ll be leaving too. We are the oldest family in that school. I know it’ll be a surprise because nobody took me seriously when I said I was going to leave. I know that my deadline is next year, but a lot of things happened and we have accelerated our departure.
Now I’m waiting for the house. I hope the owner approves us. (Me and the kids actually, because the man will stay here). Originally I was going to stay here and he was going to move. I’m glad that he came up with this idea… Being stuck in Cowshitland is the less thing I want… And because it’s very near here, it could be called Kuhscheißeland (same name in German… The ß is actually a double S. You read it like this: Coo – shy – ze (like in zen) land), but I don’t care.
I’ll be alone with my kids. I hope I can set some rules. I hope that I get their support. Now we live in a total chaos. When I say YES, the man says NO. If I say WHITE, he’ll go for BLACK. The situation is difficult for me, I can’t even imagine how it is for my kids.
Today my oldest son didn’t go to school. Yesterday he went to a swimming pool with my second son and the man and when they came back, his eyes were completely swollen and red. This morning he still looked like a frog. The man didn’t agree that he should miss school, of course… But there is a nice thing about it, he’ll start sorting out the toys for the move. And maybe later I’ll go alone to school and leave him here with my little one. And then I could finish the library… That would be great! But that means I need to leave them alone for 4 hours. Can I trust a 13 years old with a 1.5 years old? Of course I can, he’s like a second mom to my baby. When I was so sad and depressed, he was the one taking care of his baby brother. He would sit and watch TV with my baby sleeping in his arms. He’s still the only one who can make my cutie fall sleep in the afternoon.
Does that mean that I’m a terrible mom? I’ll ask my kids in a few years because I don’t think that anybody else’s opinion matters.

You are not going to believe this. I FOLDED THE LAUNDRY. (But I didn’t put it away yet… one step at the time!).
Yesterday I spent most of my day reading blogs and writing. I came across a few that really gave me goosebumps. There is a nice blog called http://lookingforthelight.me . I read there the story of a boy who could face life in prison for baking marijuana brownies. This is the post: http://lookingforthelight.me/2014/06/18/texas-teenager-facing-life-in-prison-for-baking-marijauana-brownies/ I was supposed to reblog this but for some reason I can’t do it. And I don’t want to let the time pass because I could forget.
I’m not sure what made me angrier… The size of the punishment or the insignificance of the deed. Please, take a few moments to read it and if you can, sign the petition too ( http://www.change.org/petitions/jana-duty-you-promised-to-restore-integrity-to-the-williamson-county-district-attorney-s-office-use-alternative-sentencing-reduce-jacob-s-charges-to-misdemeanor-possession?recruiter=115101755&utm_campaign=signature_receipt&utm_medium=email&utm_source=share_petition
). I just did it.

I guess you imagine what’s coming up next. Brownies!! I was about to post the recipe for Space Brownies but I just changed my mind. Anyway, if you decide to go for the Space version, replace the butter for cannabis butter (you probably need to know how to do it, and in that case I advise you to search for it).

Quick and Easy Brownies:

2 cups white sugar
1 cup butter
1/2 cup cocoa powder
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
4 eggs
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup walnut halves (if you like).


Melt the butter or margarine and mix all ingredients in the order given.
Bake at 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) for 20 to 30 minutes in a greased pan.

These are the brownies I baked with my kids for Valentine’s Day. They lasted 15 minutes.


Source: allrecipes.com

And a self esteem lifter for myself 🙂

image (14)

~ by DotedOn on June 23, 2014.

4 Responses to “410 days to go”

  1. I finally finished your post. That is great. I would never have picked up you were in such turmoil. I still don’t have an answer on the reblog issue, I’m having the same problem. I’ll hit up some others and see what I can find out. You won’t forget it because I’m leaving you in my mailbox and will let you know right away. Did you read the other one about the Dad who’s been in jail 14 years, he got life and jerked around for similar reasons. I sad because his daughter started the petition. If you want the info on the Texas teen I bet you can go to Change.org and find the story. You could just cut and paste. I’ll follow your daily countdown, don’t you have to change the days now? You’re leaving this summer? It takes courage and tremendous love for your children to leave. Check out a collaborative site I write for. Cut Throat Club, there should be a link on my page. The majority of the group have been where your at. It might help you on difficult days to see how their putting their lives back together. Take care:)


    • Hi!
      Thanks for your beautiful words! I signed the petition and pasted the links to your blog and to change.org (I’m not sure if you could see it (410 days to go). Yes, I should change the countdown but since my plans change every day and nothing in my life is certain, I just leave it that way and then I could feel like for the first time in my life I met a deadline on time 🙂 (I’m cheating myself, I know!!). Have a great day (and night, it’s VERY late for you :)) . See you later. Paola


      • Yes, it’s very late. I’ve had a very exciting blogging day and received some good news on another Change.org petition and had to get it out right away. I am having so much fun, meeting great people, offering support where I can which makes my life more fullfilled. One thing to take out of your thoughts-YOU are not cheating yourself, you’re treating yourself the way you deserve! Thank you mentioning my post. Time for a few hours of sleep. I love talking to people all over the world and the hours are long for that reward. 🙂


      • Thank you dear! I love talking to people all over the world too!
        We deserve to be HAPPY!!
        Have the sweetest dreams 🙂

        (And I know, writing is very addictive!)


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