Cutie didn’t want to stay in kindergarten. He didn’t let go of my finger. The teacher said: “You’ll have to stay another hour here tomorrow” “But my kids will be with their father the next three days” “Do you think you could come here anyway so Cutie sees the same pattern he saw the last days and will know what comes next” “Ok, I’ll talk with his dad”. So later when the man called I said: “Tomorrow I have to stay with Cutie, the teacher said that he needs to see the same pattern” “OK, then I’ll pick them up after work hours” “No, the 50/50 we signed says you have to stay with him. Not that he sleeps at your place and then I keep him the whole day until you get back from work. I’ll meet you at 7.55am and at 9.00am I say bye and you stay with him. And remember that the other school hours are: 12.30pm, 1.10pm and 1.40pm. If I have to leave what I’m doing to pick them up I don’t see the 50/50 we signed for” “Oohh… I didn’t think it that way” “Well, I’ll be working soon, so you can’t think I’ll be always at home and I just can grab the bike and do it. I could do it every now and then if you specially ask for it” “That wouldn’t have happened if the kids stayed in the same school in Cowshitland” “But that’s not the case now”. Oh man, the man can really piss me.
So I kept feeling like beige underwear. The handymen were about to finish their work. That, believe or not, made me a bit sad. To have something to watch apart from the birds was very nice. And I didn’t mention it before but the first days, my daughter made me ask the hot Chimney Guy a lot of questions, like: “What’s your name?” “How old are you?” “Why do you smoke?” “Why do you drink that instead of beer?” I was really looking forward to my daughter wanting to ask if there was a Mrs. Chimney at home, but for some reason she didn’t think that was something important to ask. So I knew the name of the guy and all the time I was thinking how in hell can I flirt with the man in German if the only thing I’m fluent in this language is ordering food or getting a place to sleep (which it could be handy if things go further, but I pretty much would prefer if the guy takes care of it, call me “old-fashioned”.
So I missed my chance on Monday and Tuesday and then I asked: “Did you finish the chimney?” “No, only a little piece and it’s done” “Will you be coming tomorrow?” “I have no idea, I’m not the one who decides” “OK, thank you, see you”.
Then on Wednesday, you should have seen my smile when I saw the silver truck coming and how my smiled disappeared when from the truck emerged 2 guys instead of one. Why the hell did he bring a chaperon? Then I discovered that they were going to put some black layer of something like asphalt on the garage roof so Chimney Guy was going to be there longer, but not alone. And I really wanted Chimney Guy alone. And of course, guess who was giving me all the smiles? The Other Guy!! Of course!! WHY?? That’s life.
When they finished they left saying: “See you tomorrow”. Since the Other Guy said it, I knew Chimney Guy was not going to come alone. Never mind… next time.
A bit later, while I was looking for some yarn for my couch project, I found a piece of fabric with some waterproof layer on it that we use as tablecloth. That piece plus the tablecloth was just enough to cover the chairs. So I decided I was going to try to put that fabric on the chairs. To do that, I was going to need a stapler. The man has two. I contemplated for a second if I should call him and ask him to bring one next time. Then I said: “No, I rather buy one” So I took my bike and went to the store to get one.


Yesterday after kindergarten, Cutie fell asleep so I decided I was going to cover the chairs in that moment. I cut the fabric, dismounted the chair, but when I tried to use the stapler, I couldn’t do it. The freaking thing was TOO hard. Some swearing came and with it, the Other Guy asking: “Is there a problem?” “Yes! I can’t use this machine, it’s too hard!!” “Can I help you?” “Please, if you don’t mind” So he said something to Chimney Guy and 5 seconds later both of them were putting the fabric on my chair. I couldn’t believe it. The way Chimney Guy was handling the fabric made me think “Please God, let me be that fabric for 5 minutes (or 120)”. More or less I needed some shaking to come back from Dreamland. When I did, I thought “It’s NOW or never” So I said: “Can I take a picture of you?” They laughed a bit and said: “Ok”. So I took the picture and in the same moment I asked for their e-mail addresses to send it. There it goes my luck again, Chimney Guy didn’t remember (or just pretended not to remember) his e-mail address. So I got the e-mail of the Other Guy. So in that moment, I mailed the picture. Thanks Technology for making my life easier and decreasing the chance of staying forever alone!!
Two minutes later the Other Guy appeared with another stapler and said: “Yours is new, thats why is hard. You can use this one. I don’t need it right now”.


So he lent me his stapler and I said I was going to write an e-mail to him when I finished the work.

And these are my Handymen working for me.


And since it’s Friday and I’m in LOVE here are the lyrics of a song that couldn’t go better with this story after my trip to Dreamland:

“It’s NOW or Never” (written by Aaron Schroeder & Wally Gold, but please imagine Elvis singing it)

It’s now or never,
Come hold me tight
Kiss me my darling,
Be mine tonight
Tomorrow will be too late,
It’s now or never
My love won’t wait.

When I first saw you
With your smile so tender
My heart was captured,
My soul surrendered
I’d spend a lifetime
Waiting for the right time
Now that your near
The time is here at last.

It’s now or never,
Come hold me tight
Kiss me my darling,
Be mine tonight
Tomorrow will be too late,
It’s now or never
My love won’t wait.

Just like a willow,
We would cry an ocean
If we lost true love
And sweet devotion
Your lips excite me,
Let your arms invite me
For who knows when
We’ll meet again this way

It’s now or never,
Come hold me tight
Kiss me my darling,
Be mine tonight
Tomorrow will be too late,
It’s now or never
My love won’t wait.


~ by DotedOn on September 26, 2014.

12 Responses to “00:30.4”

  1. You my dear are hysterical!


  2. How do you land in these situations, Lol! It appears you had them smiling, too 🙂 How frustrating about Cutie/school. It’s much different there than here. The parent pleads to stay at the school and the teacher tells the parent “Go!! The child won’t learn to trust us if you are here!” It’s very hard juggling parents that live separately-I did that too and never knew if I was coming or going!


    • Mandy, all my life was/is like this (except when I was with the man, then my light was off). People who know me from long time always say: “That could only happened to you!!”. Yes, my life is a joke 😀
      And I’m losing my patience with Cutie, I have so much to do and he doesn’t want to stay there!!


      • Whenever I had to leave a little one in daycare or early-age school, crying, the teachers always assured me they stopped minutes after I left–sometimes the tears are a tool and create a pattern of the child knowing what works. Hopefully they’ll try letting you go one day and see what happens. (Don’t they know you’ve got to get back to your stapling? 😀 )


      • Yes Mandy!!! You got that right! You should be teaching in that school… And allowing single moms to go stapling when they need to 😀


  3. Horn Dog Twin P,

    Elvis singing in my ears. You are so crazy, can’t wait to come to Germany and be entertained. You have bad luck, maybe go see one of those Voodoo people and get the curse removed. I can’t play with bad luck around. Very good choice to stand your ground with the man, that’s what 50/50 is all about! It’s called co-parenting. I don’t understand why so many men forget this the minute they are required to live up to their 50%. As for Cutie requiring so much reassurance, he’s young, his parents just split, new house, very confused, back and forth. You have to be gentle, let him cry and bribe him for not crying without him knowing. Don’t reward him everyday. He is the youngest and the craziest it sounds like by his other screaming behavior. Think about it, you haven’t been able to control him from embarrassing you in public with his howling at the moon. You have to handle the school like you handle the man, here is what I can do and then I can no longer stay. What the hell are they going to say, what can they do call the bad parent police?

    Now remember what we discussed earlier, beige panty attitide doesn’t project confidence.You had several days to make conversation with the guy, how are you going to even get asked for a phone number if you leave them wondering why you’re staying in the house. Try to think like a guy, their always a horn dog unless to old to care. You have five children, they have no idea you’ve worked your ass off remodeling the house by yourself. Maybe its time for a lavender bath, glass of wine and imagine who this new person is you’ve become. What do you want for yourself, other than doing the deed, maybe its time to cut your hair short, dye it bright red again, whatever makes you feel good. You have to learn there are times you have to put yourself first. Are you going to get anything other than a bike as mode of transportation? Is there a train or subway near by. You need to get your confidence on, go into town wherever that may be and see something new. Walks the streets see where you’re living now. That’s how you meet people. Have a hot tea, take your time, don’t think about all the projects at home. RELAX. Talk with shop owners, find out the popular spot for our age group, not the 20’s crowd. You need to get out regularly as a way to treat yourself. Just look in shop windows, take it easy. You’ll met people, maybe your new BFF and over time a dinner party, maybe chimney guy is there. 🙂 🙂

    You are so funny. The humor is appreciated by those going thru similar situations or on the other side of. Come work with me.

    Not So Horn Dog Twin M,


    • Dear Twin M,
      Your reply made me almost pee on the airbed. The “subway” part almost killed me. Only 4500 inhabitants here 🙂
      It breaks my heart to make Cutie cry (only if I’m the reason of his crying). If he cries because he’s spoiled, I can’t stand him (and nobody around!).
      I’ll try to go out more…
      Ok, later explain me about the ABOUT page.
      Twin P

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Remind me to show you how to link your about you page. 🙂


  5. Reblogged this on Survivors Blog Here and commented:
    Guest Blogger


  6. As usual you are sooo funny. I love your blog. It always brightens my day evening whatever I’m doing I never delete a post! It is great like you my friend. ❤


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