00:58.5

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I really don’t know where to start. A little introduction maybe. Remember my mom? “The Queen of the Clean and the Tidy”? Well, she has something that she never managed to keep clean. Her dirty mouth. Man, the woman can swear!! She’s not really someone you could call “shy”.
Then remember when I said that in my country there are no insults that really hurt because all of them are so worn out, that the essence of them, is lost. Plus, there is very little respect.
An example here. Words like: son/daughter of bitch, wanker, jerker, fucker (with or without mother), slut, whore, pussy, cock, dick, ass, fuck, etc., are as embedded in everyday’s speech, as the “you know” for the Americans. You know?

When I was in high school, there was a word pretty popular among male teens. The word was “guasca”. Definition below:

FullSizeRender (2)

Derived from it, there is the word “guascazo”, meaning the stain that “guasca” left.

A couple of years passed and the use of the word “guascazo” was extended to describe ANY stain, if not among everyone, among my friends.

Another example here. Saturday evening situation. We (my little sister and I) were getting dressed to go out: “You borrowed my black shirt last week, why the fuck didn’t you throw in in the wash, slut, it’s full of guascazos?” “Because ‘no se me cantaba la concha'”. If you write ‘no se me cantaba la concha’ in some online translator, you’ll get something like: “my shell didn’t sing it to me”, in this case, shell is pussy, and the ‘didn’t sing it to me’ part means ‘I didn’t want to do it’ or ‘I didn’t feel like doing it’. Men replace ‘concha’ by ass or cock. VERY popular.

New words keep appearing in our language and not everyone knows/understands them at first because some are pretty confusing. Specially for older adults or for someone who doesn’t know the language well.
Like the first time someone said to me “You are hot” and I almost kick him in the balls…
I believe that all of us, at some point, heard a new word/phrase and didn’t understand what the hell that word/phrase meant.
It happens to me pretty often with my kids or when I go back to my country and new words/phrases are there…
Another example here: “Tirame la goma” translates in a translator as “Throw/pass me the rubber” but in reality means “suck my dick”.

What is ALWAYS amusing is when us, or our parents a few years ago, try to incorporate a new word/phrase but fail to use it in the right context. Causing everyone around to laugh like crazy or feel pretty embarrassed.

My parents shop at the same store for years. It’s common that after many years of going to the same place, you get to know the owners and a few facts about them.
There is this man, Rosauro, who owns a little shop near where my parents live. I know for a fact that the man is single. My mom tried to fix me up with him once but at the time, I wasn’t into mature men. Now I’m more open… hehehehehe.
So this particular day, they went together, mom and dad, to get something at Rosauro’s store … After a couple of minutes of chit chat, my mom points at Rosauro and says: “You have cum on your shirt!”. Rosauro went pale. My dad, trying to suffocate the laughter, started farting through his nose. While my mom, completely unaware, added: “Yes, there, near your pants!!”.

It’s FRIDAY!!!!! I’m soooooo much in love!!!!
Today’s song is one of the few songs that makes me dance (even without the 3 beers and 2 tequila’s required!!).
Maybe you saw this one coming…. Ladies and Gentlemen, what we all need:

A LITTLE RESPECT!!
(By Erasure, Vince Clarke & Andie Bell)

I try to discover
A little something to make me sweeter
Oh baby refrain from breaking my heart
I’m so in love with you
I’ll be forever blue
That you gimme no reason
You know you’re making me work so hard

That you gimme no
That you gimme no
That you gimme no
That you gimme no

Soul, I hear you calling
Oh baby please give a little respect to me

And if I should falter
Would you open you arms out to me
We can make love not war
And live at peace with our hearts
I’m so in love with you
I’ll be forever blue
What religion or reason
Could drive a man to forsake his lover

Don’t you tell me no
Don’t you tell me no
Don’t you tell me no
Don’t you tell me no

Soul, I hear you calling
Oh baby please give a little respect to me

I’m so in love with you
I’ll be forever blue
That you gimme no reason
You know you’re making mework so hard

That you gimme no
That you gimme no
That you gimme no
That you gimme no

Soul, I hear you calling
Oh baby please give a little respect to me

Soul, I hear you calling
Oh baby please give a little respect to me

sources:
metrolyrics.com
urbandictionary.com

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~ by DotedOn on October 24, 2014.

17 Responses to “00:58.5”

  1. Reblogged this on Survivors Blog Here.

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  2. omg. your moms hilarious. that got me giggling and now I cant stop. hehehehe, thank you, dear. xx

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  3. That was hilarious! Did anyone ever explain to your mom what she said to Rosauro?

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  4. Boluda!!!!!! como me hiciste reir, guacha!!!! (Translation: Huge balls!!! How did you make me laugh, you bastard!!!) <—— Argentine style

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    • hahahahahahaha ๐Ÿ™‚
      Cuando me acorde ayer mientras me duchaba a las 2.15 de ma maรฑana, me empecรฉ a reir de una forma que no podia parar. Me fui a la cama y me seguรญa riendo como una pelotuda… Mi mamรก no volvio a lo de Rosauro por mucho tiempo ๐Ÿ˜€
      Lo peor es que tenia 2 historias igual de graciosas pero la segunda me la olvide… espero acordarme. Besos

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  5. Twin P
    You so bad!!!!!! Why old people think using certain language makes them cool is beyond me. At least it provides comic relief.
    ๐Ÿ™‚
    Twin M

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  6. That’s hilarious! I would have loved to see your mom’s expression the second she realized what she’d said :).

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  7. Catching up on your blogs, and this is the first one I read. I guess this gives me a real good jump start. LOL!

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