Thursday. I’m not sure if I forgot to set the alarm on the phone or if I had the volume off. In any case, I woke up one hour later. So everybody was one hour late today. Crap!

My advent calendar, more specifically day 24 , reminded me of a story. Ladies, this is for you.
And I want to add that not only men have fun on the beach with costume mishaps. We girls, laugh too!!
A few days after Karma got my ears, I was ready again to lay on the beach. We were still in Portugal (July 1995), but this time in Estoril.
For some reason, the beach was almost deserted. A few meters away, there was a very young guy, maybe 20 if not younger. He was there with a girl.
For sure all of you know that in Europe is really normal to wear Speedos. Most men wear those. No matter the age, those tiny stretchy things is what you see everywhere.
It’s been very long since I don’t go to a beach in my country, but I can say almost 99% sure that nobody wears them.

th (1)

So that day what caught our eyes was the small costume this guy was wearing… Not that it was the wrong size, more than he needed a few more inches of fabric to cover the front part because Mother Nature had been VERY generous with him.
The costume seemed already small BEFORE the girl started caressing him. We could see in front of our eyes how much the Lycra could stretch… Poor guy, we were laughing so hard that he took a towel and decided to cover himself.
At the time, I was in charge of writing the “Travel’s Diary”. A plain notebook that we had bought as soon as we could.

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We were laughing so much and were very inspired with such a view that we didn’t want to wait until the evening to write. I took the notebook and the pen and my sister and my friend started dictating what was happening around. Since the diary was not meant to be read by anyone except us, we wrote as many details as possible. I remember I finished writing just before turning the page.
Next day, we left Portugal. We were on the train and while my sister and my friend decided to take a nap, I took the notebook and started writing a letter to the guy I was dating at the time (Cristián). We were in the same class. I kind of liked him but not completely. Probably what I didn’t like, it was that nobody knew we were dating and I really hated all the secrecy… Specially because after a couple of days, one of the girls who was also in our class told me that she liked him… Oh shit! These situations are never good.

I opened the notebook on a random white page and started writing the letter. “Dear Cristián, blah, blah, blah”
When I completed exactly one page and was about to turn it, my sister woke up, so I closed the notebook and put it away.
Later that day, I decided to finish the letter and mail it. I opened the notebook, turned the page and continued writing. When I finished, I got an envelope and a stamp, wrote the name and address, tore the page, folded it and did what I always did till that day. I put the letter in the envelope without rereading or correcting it because otherwise I would alter the way I was feeling in the moment I wrote it. (Yes, I used to do that).

Now imagine my face when that evening I wanted to write the daily events and found on the notebook “Dear Cristián, blah, blah, blah…”
I went pale. My sister and friend were asking what had happened. I started to laugh and told them that by mistake I had mailed to Cristián a page of the diary…
“Which page?”
“Yesterday’s page”
“The one with the description of the trunk???”
“How can you be so stupid!! Didn’t you read it before sending it? Noooo, I know you didn’t read it! You and your more stupid little things!! That will teach you a lesson”. That was my cute little sister trying to make a point.
“What now?? I really don’t want Cristián reading that… What can I do??” So I had the brilliant idea of calling my mom and ask her to call Cristián and tell him that if he got a letter from me, not to read it. The conversation with my mom went something like this:
“Hi mom”
“Hi, what happened? It’s not Wednesday” (We had agreed to call Wednesdays and Sundays because it wasn’t particularly cheap the long distance call).
“Nothing happened mon, I need you to call Cristián”
“Oh… the guy I’m dating”
“Are you dating someone?”
“And why I didn’t know about it?”
“I don’t know, it’s not really serious”
“So why I have to call him?”
“Because I sent him a letter that wasn’t intended to him”
“So? If it’s not for him, he will not read it”
“But the envelope says it is for him”
“Ohhh… so tell me what I have to do”
“Call this number 797..34 and tell him that when a letter from me gets there, to keep it close and give it to me later”
“You know you are insane, right?”
“Yes mom, we all know that… Thanks”

The weeks passed and we were back home. The first thing I did was to call one of my friends to ask if I had missed something. She said I didn’t miss anything and went on like this: “I went out with Cristián last Saturday” WHAT??? WTF! Bastard!! Now I understand why the secrecy, so he could go out with half the class!! I had to really control myself and not let slip anything. She said that nothing happened and I didn’t tell her I was dating him… (This was a different girl, not the one who told me that she liked Cristián).

A couple of days later, I saw Cristián… I couldn’t make a scene or anything because just 2 weeks before, I had met Holiday Guy (the guy for whom I moved to Europe). The first thing he said was: “Here’s your letter, unopened as promised”. “Thank you… I’ll explain another time, ok?”.
Later when I was on the bus going back home, I decided to read the letter. I turned around the envelope to open it and saw some really bad job done to it. Apparently Cristián had opened it and read it.
And I can assure you he had never seen one of those detective series when the guy opens the envelope with steam.
I can also say that he never learned that before using glue on a white paper, it was better to have the hands CLEAN. What a mess!!

I really wanted to open the letter but I had to show it to my sister and friend so we could all laugh together. We kept the envelope closed as a souvenir.

That time, I learned my lesson. Now I reread what I write.


~ by DotedOn on December 11, 2014.

5 Responses to “106”

  1. Reblogged this on Survivors Blog Here.


  2. Hot for speedo Twin P
    Aren’t we glad for the lessons we learn while younger! What I laugh my ass off about is you trying to convince me how shy you are!!!!!! I never believed you for one minute.
    Don’t care for old men in speedos Twin M

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ha! My mother told me never to wear speedos because it would scare all the children and small animals and I would never find a good wife. I didn’t have a clue what a good wife was supposed to look like but I couldn’t live with scaring children and small animals so I listened. Thank God I did. I can’t imagine how terrible it would be to live with that kind of memory. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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