107

107

I’m writing this in advance because Friday morning the man will pick me up and drive me to Cowshitland to sign the papers saying that I don’t own anymore the house where we used to live. We bought that house in 1998. It never really felt like home. Nothing ever felt like home to me. I’m always looking for something different. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to lay roots somewhere. I love it here but I knew from day 1 that this was also temporary. What’s freaking wrong with me? Why I always get suffocated? I guess I can blame my wings, they NEED to fly.

My Thursday was ok until I opened the mailbox. Three bills. One from the cable company (I’m canceling the contract tomorrow if I can do it online, I never got to watch cable and the original 17.90 I signed for became 32.90).
Another bill to pay some TV tax (even if I don’t have any).
And the third one to let my insurance know that my son broke a camera and they have to pay 350 Euros… The thing is, my son says he was the nearest person but that he didn’t break it. And who’s lying here? This means dealing with a freaking call center… My eye is twitching already.

I was about to cry when I told the man all the little things adding up and making me really stressed and he said: “Do you remember what you always say? MONEY COMES AND GOES” “Of course I remember!! It’s not about the money. For me it can ALL go, I don’t give a shit, but please don’t make it SO freaking difficult”.
You can’t imagine how stressful all this is for me. And I feel guilty because it’s really nothing. We are all healthy and together. So why the hell I feel like a truck ran over me?

A little interruption to take a 2 hours bath. Maybe that will help me relax.

I don’t feel renewed, I only smell nice(r) and look like a raisin.
I forgot to post the search terms this week… The ass grabbing is still there and not planning to leave.
I still don’t understand the connection with the new search terms.

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-Imagine places??? What kind of search is that?

-I didn’t want to break up with you, i still love you quotes??? That one really got me thinking… You didn’t want to break up, but you did it anyway… I wonder who was pointing the gun at you.

-Man looking surprised quotes??? I did that search just to see if my blog appeared. I browsed 7 pages and nothing… Then I searched images (my favorite search) and I found two quotes that I liked about surprised men/women. That cheered me up a bit. But still I don’t see the connection.

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I promised to post my Christmas tree. I got it from a (?)friend who moved back to her home country. She wanted to take it because it was a present made specially for her. When I went to her house to say goodbye, she said that she didn’t have any more space and kind of begged me to take it. I like it very much. Simple and original.

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And the decorations are some of the things my kids made at school. Only some because a couple of years ago when I was depressed and didn’t move from the couch the man got mad at me because it was February and the Christmas decorations were still laying on the living room, so he threw everything in the garbage container. That day he earned my hate and it didn’t matter that next day he rescued everything, the damage made to some things and to me, was irreversible.

I got the pictures from Monday’s party but they were all faces/people and only one with food.
That’s me wearing a Christmas color. After brown/beige, red is my least favorite.
And I’m smiling, it was a nice day.

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Twin, that’s the guilty t-shirt…

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~ by DotedOn on December 12, 2014.

29 Responses to “107”

  1. Reblogged this on Survivors Blog Here.

    Like

  2. You look so beautiful Twin P
    The shirt is nice, not a sexy hot number. It makes me wonder, were you wearing a bra or poking out the front? If not, he was hitting on you. He’s missing you. To bad, he had his chance. I still haven’t heard how the tea party went? Any of the mom’s cool and worth hanging out with? It’s is so late, 2:30AM, way past my bed time. I asked Sharon to email me, she’s a perfect fit for the team.
    Tired of bitching cat Twin M

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hola Twin M!
      I was wearing a bra!! And he was probably hitting on me too. He misses me but I don’t miss him πŸ™‚
      The tea party was nice, a lot of food and I ate too much.
      I’m glad you asked Sharon!! πŸ™‚
      Sorry about you cat.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Love the Christmas tree. And photo of you. You’re so bright and pretty, just like Christmas!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I completely understand the triggers that push you right over the edge when it comes to stress. I can have a perfectly ok day, nothing out of the ordinary, minimal amount of stress.. then someone comes along and pulls that one thread. You know that thread, it’s attached to every other thread in the shirt, and in the fraction of a second the whole shirt is ruined because that one thread got pulled… yep… I understand that all too well.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. That’s a beautiful photo, Paola! I love the Christmas tree, too. It is original. Stress is inherent this time of year. We all have to hang on until December 26th. πŸ˜€

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  6. I think I would stress too if I was billed for services I didn’t receive and equipment my kids didn’t break. Hmmmmmm. I think you will need to smash something with a hammer while making screeching wild animal noises. After that, the kids will behave and the neighbors won’t bother you for months. You’ll feel great as long as you didn’t smash something you will get a bill for. Never mind, that’s a bad idea. Just double up on the wine and chocolate. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Here’s to hoping you find some cable! YOu look so happy in the picture – BEAUTIFUL!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. A two hour bath? Wow

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Also I love the tree. Very original

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Wow that’s a lot of search terms (and interesting ones too). I don’t get that much. Do you do anything in particular to make your blog more searchable?

    Like

    • Nothing!! I don’t even use tags. If someone follows me, I follow back. Then I’m pushed to read (mostly) all the blogs I follow otherwise I feel guilty πŸ˜€
      I’m such a sucker!! I have no idea where my followers come from πŸ™‚
      (And I only unfollowed a few bombers who kept posting and reblogging and making my stress level go higher) πŸ™‚

      Like

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