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Saturday. My little one is still sick. he’s at the man’s house now and not looking really well but he doesn’t have a fever.
It’s not raining today. The sky is blue and it looks beautiful. I checked the forecast and it says it’ll snow the next days/week. I’m so not happy about it. I refuse to buy those ugly boots. And what about removing the snow from the street? So not looking forward to that. I hope the wind changes soon. I want to walk outside on my flip flops.
I woke up late this morning with the idea of catching up reading (I have MANY tabs open). But I also want to clean the house and go to the supermarket. Or watch a movie eating chocolate ice cream. It’s my weekend off so I have to feel that I did something nice or my week will be spoiled.
I wish I could clone myself now and let one of me clean the house and go to the supermarket and the other one take a bath while eating chocolate ice cream and watching a movie. I would also let one go out to the nearest big town and have a one night stand while the other me stays in bed covered till the neck watching another movie and eating pop corn. Something else?

A part of me feels too old/lazy to do many things while the other part is constantly asking why the hell I feel that way. I’m really sorry there is no part of me taking action and doing something.
I guess it all comes with the package of post/pre depression, stand by mode, lost sparkle, lack of will (except the will to escape that it’s always there). Denial and passiveness.

I better get dressed and do something since I know it won’t get done yet. My mom will be here in 3.5 weeks and then EVERYTHING will get done and stay done (At least while she’s here). Why didn’t I inherit that from my mom? A part of me would love to be so organized and tidy. While the other part of me is saying: HELL NO… That woman can’t relax if she sees a glass on the counter.

I just want to sit on a bench and relax.
Like that day. I was sitting (spread) on a bench, breathing and listening to the birds with my cousin. On the left Sant Esteve Church (Peratallada, Spain).

On the right, the gorgeous sun.

~ by DotedOn on January 17, 2015.