153

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Mug shot Tuesday. This morning the sun was shining and so I was until 10 minutes ago when the sky turned completely dark and ugly. I don’t like to have the permanent cloud on my head.
Yesterday I mentioned I had herpes. Today I feel I need to clarify something. There are two types of herpes. Herpes simplex virus type 1 that commonly causes ORAL infections and type 2 that commonly causes GENITAL infections.
Both are transmitted by direct contact with body fluids or lesions of an infected individual. Transmission can occur even when symptoms are not present. Genital herpes is classified as a sexually transmitted infection. After infection, the viruses reside lifelong.
Some causes of recurrence may include: decreased immune function, stress, and sunlight exposure.
I have the type 1 for at least 25 years and no idea how I got it. I only remember I was on holidays and there was A LOT of sun. Now, no sun at all. Very cold and windy. But I’m very stressed.
I know herpes is not exactly a man magnet. But what can I do?? I didn’t choose to get herpes, herpes chose to get me. Like “You don’t find Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris finds you”. Sorry Chuck for this one.

Here it goes a little story I was meaning to post long ago and never had the chance.
The first time I got the following question I was a bit shocked and wondered: “Why the f&#k do you care?? and What kind of question is that??” etc. etc…
To my surprise, I got that same question asked a few more times.
It was then that I had to reprogram myself and think that maybe, just maybe, men like to know “HOW LOUD WOMEN ARE IN BED?”.
Sorry readers, I’m not answering. I only tell you something that happened a few years ago.
One evening back in December 1997, I went out with Nice Guy (my then boyfriend) and his friends. It was very cold and we entered the first cafe we found. I ended up seated across the table from Stephan S.. I had never met him before because he was a friend of a friend.
Since Nice Guy and his friends were all speaking in Dutch and I didn’t understand a thing, I started talking to Stephan S. (who’s German) in English. We were laughing like crazy. The guy is an artist. He has also VERY slow moves (like me) but he also talks REALLY slowly and soft (unlike me). So he looks like he’s under the effect of a “peaceful drug” all day long. I like him very much.
A couple of years passed and I broke up with Nice Guy and moved to another town to an university campus near where the man lived.
I rented a flat on the last floor. One morning, I found a package in front of my flat that was for Stephan S.. “How strange!”. Later, when I saw the man I said: “I think I know the new neighbor” “How can that be possible?” “I met him some years ago” “Yeah right”.
And of course, I was right! He moved there because his then girlfriend was living in the flat next door to me.
After a couple of months, he broke up with the girl but kept the flat. By the time, he became a good friend of the man (there are no 2 persons more different in the world than them).
One evening in summer, I got back from work and the man told me:
“Stephan has a new girl and he asked if he could borrow a chair so I gave him the foldable chair, I hope you don’t mind… And you must know, the girl is LOUD”
“Loud?”
“Yes, LOUD… Louder than a horny cat. While having sex, she screams like if Stephan were killing her”
“I think you are overreacting”
“If she stays longer, you’ll see. Or you can ask Alain (guy across the hall) because when I opened the door to see where the noise came from, he was walking back and forth like a lost person”

Later that evening… OMG! OMG! LOUD didn’t make justice to how LOUD she was. There were also cracking noises coming from his flat. It was worrying LOUD. To the point where we were really wondering if we should knock on Stephan’s door and check if he was hitting her… We couldn’t really believe all that noise coming from his flat because Stephan is SLOW and soft and you can’t even hear when he walks (or talks).
After a few moments debating under the LOUD noises, the man went outside. There he found a couple more of neighbors who were probably doing the same he was doing. No one was talking, everyone was scared and wondering what should they do.

Next day when the man went to work he found the chair on the hall broken in half.

chair

He went back in and said to me: “I’m so sorry, they destroyed your chair”
“I’m not surprised! if she moves like she screams I don’t think any piece of furniture will survive”. We were laughing for some time.

That evening the man got home and said: “Stephan just stopped me”
“What happened?”
“He wanted to know if we could hear the girl last night”
“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA… What did you say?”
“I didn’t know what to say, so I said… ‘No, why?'”
“HAHHAHAHHAHAHAHA…. People from 3 buildings away could hear her”
“I know… but he was so concerned saying that he couldn’t concentrate and feeling so bad because he thought all the neighbors could hear the girl screaming… I just felt bad and lied”
I couldn’t stop laughing… Then he added: “And he said he was really sorry about your chair, that it got broken because ‘The girl was a bit wild'”.

th

source: wikipedia.org

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~ by DotedOn on January 27, 2015.

18 Responses to “153”

  1. Reblogged this on SURVIVORS BLOG HERE.

    Like

  2. That woman is going to redefine what a cougar is. πŸ˜€

    Liked by 2 people

  3. This post is totally unexpected! πŸ˜› I couldn’t believe how loud that girl was. When I was reading this post, I just kept on saying “OMG” “OMG” “OMG”…couldn’t believe such things actually happened like what we saw from TV or movies πŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh my, too funny!!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. twin P
    Sorry I’m so ot of it. My body is in reject mode. Thanks for all the support of previous post. The past makes me who I am.
    πŸ™‚
    Twin M
    I think I’ve eaten my body weight today. When I’m down I eat to feel better. It doesn’t work but worth trying.
    Thinking of you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m thinking of you too Twin!!
      I eat my body weight often, then I feel bad for some time but never I learn the lesson and I do it again πŸ™‚
      Many hugs and I hope you body starts collaborating soon ❀ ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  6. A balance must be struck between a sexy meow, and the sound of a cougar devouring it’s prey. I think a lot of women overcompensate because they’re trying to sound like porn stars. Poor Stephan!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. […] I believe now that the men who ask how LOUD women are in bed it’s because they had the same sad experience that my friend Stephan had … Because I honestly think that only a deaf person could cope with something like that. So […]

    Like

  8. She broke a chair!!! Ha ha! I need her autograph!!!

    Liked by 1 person

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