179

179

Sunday. Last night I fell asleep a bit after 10.30pm. Way too early. I was exhausted and I have no idea why. I slept terribly waking many times. Around 5.00am I couldn’t sleep anymore but I refused to leave the bed. The result? I was attacked by my thoughts. Now I feel a bit down. Also my stomach hurts, the kind of pain you get when you are nervous or anxious.
I’m never going to let myself fall asleep again so early. It’s disturbing. I think too much and that is never good. I realize a lot of things that probably are only in my head and I tend to find invented conclusions.
I could write some of the crap that comes to my mind when I can’t sleep. It’s not the same crap than when I’m bored. If I’m bored, it’s mostly funny crap.
This time I came to realization that my way of perception changed in the past couple of years. That means that also my way of thinking changed.
I don’t truly like it because I miss my old me.
My old me would never split love and lust. My new me has a hard time putting them together. So probably I’ll spend a lot of time trying to validate my theory.
See what I mean? It’s so much better to sleep!

I’ll try to find a funny side about it and write my invented conclusions. At least let’s make something productive about it.
I wanted to add pictures about love and lust but guess what? I have to turn the safe search off to get pictures of lust. So, no pictures this time.

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~ by DotedOn on February 22, 2015.

19 Responses to “179”

  1. Reblogged this on SURVIVORS BLOG HERE.

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  2. Ah, getting older…it’s so wonderful isn’t it? Ha, ha!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. So, you are doing scientific research into lust and love? 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Lol you consider 10:30 early but that’s around when I usually fall asleep. Mind you I’m an early riser 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Paola, I’m so sorry I wasn’t available to wish you a Happy Birthday!! I wish I could post a picture here because I found one of a girl using blue pompoms and I thought of you! Don’t feel bad sweetie. You’re not even close to old. This I KNOW!! 😀 ♥ ♥ ♥

    Liked by 1 person

  6. So sorry to hear that Paola! I hope you have a better sleep tonight! Sending you all the sweet dreams to make you sleep extra well! 😉

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  7. I think I know what you mean about splitting love and lust. I always thought love came several months after lust but one needed lust to prime the love well. Then, I was no longer a teenager and things got a little murky between the two. Now I have to avoid lust because I am at the age where I can have a heart attack or stroke. What an embarrassment that would be.

    Liked by 1 person

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