Thursday. 3.15am. Another night with interruptions. I wish I could sleep six straight hours. It happened only once this year. Sleep and love sometimes elude me.
But love woke me tonight. Or the thought of it. I feel inspired so another attempt to the subject of love, lack of it, married men, happiness, etc.. This time I’ll add married women.

I wrote about my aunt Norma a couple of times but I need to write about her again because it fits perfectly in the subject.
My mother’s brother was about 28 years old when he met my mother’s friend Norma. Norma was the secretary of my moms gynecologist. Both my mom and Norma were 32 at the time. It was February 1978. I will ask my mother if my theory is right or not but it just struck me that Norma asked my mother: “Do you have a single brother for me?”, because that’s the question I ask very often to a lot of people and I’m really sad when they think I’m joking. Let’s go back to the story.

We were on holidays in Mar del Plata (Argentina) when my mom introduced them. It was love at first sight. Now I’m thinking that it was all planned by the women. My parents invited my uncle to spend a few days at the beach with us and then one day: “My friend Norma is also here, what a coincidence!!”.
I always felt I was very similar to my aunt. And now, more than ever. Being single after 30 makes some of us go crazy.
Some months passed and I must have been busy at school (first grade) because I only remember the next holiday. The winter holiday. July 1978. Argentina hosted the World Cup (football/soccer). That memory is so vivid that it seems it was yesterday.
My father and my uncle had planned a three months trip to Europe and the US. At the time, my uncle and Norma were dating. And since Norma was alone, she came to stay at our house together with my mom, my sister and me. She was already part of the family.

I have no idea when or how everything else happened because again, I must have been busy with school and falling in and out of love to a long list of wrong guys until I met Holiday Guy in 1995 and then later moved to the town near Cowshitland in 1997.
My younger sister got married in December 1997 and my parents gave as gift to the newlyweds, a trip to Cuba. But they were not going to go to Cuba alone, the rest of the family (mom, dad, brother, me + holiday guy, my uncle, aunt Norma and 2 cousins), were going too.
I remember that I flew from Amsterdam to London, then Washington, then New York, then Buenos Aires. The only flight we found because everything was booked around Christmas. We got to Buenos Aires airport at noon. Went to my parents house, took a shower, got dressed (with a mini dress that my mom had bought for me and I had never seen or tried before and had to show everyone my milky legs because in December, it was winter in Europe and summer in Argentina and everyone had a healthy tan except Holiday Guy and me). I think I looked awful, green and exhausted but there was no time to complain. We had to rush to the city hall because at 3.00pm the ceremony was celebrated. Then to a little party at home, then back to the airport because at 8.00pm we had our flight to Cuba. Did I ever say I HATE flying? I think I was awake for three days.

I have beautiful memories of that trip to Cuba but I knew back then that something was wrong between my uncle and aunt. How can I tell? My uncle is what we call in Argentina “un amargo” (a bitter one). He’s very nice but there is NO WAY in hell that he dances. My mom needs a few drinks and she’ll dance, also because my father is not shy at all and kind of rescued my mom from Bitterland. I could be consider a bitter one too but everyone knows I’m not like that because I’m always smiling and two sips of wine make me dance on the table (It used to be like that. Now my alcohol resistance is much higher and I need a half bottle before putting on my dancing shoes).
So what made me suspect they were having troubles? My uncle was singing and dancing with a bottle of champagne in his hand. WTF?! That NEVER EVER happened before and trust me, we celebrated many things together and there was always wine and music.

Two years later, on another visit to my parents, my mom told me that my aunt had had an affair and that her lover went to confront my uncle and told him he should learn how to treat “Normita”. Very shocking. We knew about a few males in our family who had cheated but it was the first time one of us (girls) was caught. (I don’t dare to write one of us cheated, it feels like a lie).
What happened next? My uncle had his pride hurt so he took my aunt and moved to the south of Argentina. I don’t know why my aunt didn’t leave my uncle. It was clear that she loved the other man. Maybe because of the children? But what about her own happiness? I know it takes guts to leave everything behind… But staying on a loveless relationship takes away your soul. And what’s more painful?
A few months later, my aunt got sick and died.

Last week my mom said: “I think my brother killed your aunt Norma” I replied: “I’m sure of it. He cut her wings and her dreams and she died of sadness”.


~ by DotedOn on March 12, 2015.

18 Responses to “197”

  1. Reblogged this on SURVIVORS BLOG HERE.


  2. That’s a tough one for your aunt. In many ways, I feel that the obligation is to stay with the children. If there were no children, then by all means, leave. If there is abuse, that is different, but if it’s for romance, then I disagree.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh, how sad.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. So sad 😦 And also feeling good about leaving my own broken relationship. Thank you for reminding me ❀

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Very sad to hear that! 😦

    Liked by 1 person

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