203

203

Wednesday. My parents left yesterday. It was nice to have them here. My mom told me she could relax. That never had happened before. Apparently when I was together with the man (my ex), the atmosphere wasn’t peaceful at all. Tension was always there.
As soon as they call later to tell me they got home safely, I’ll ask them if they are still worried about me. I hope they saw me happy here.

A couple of weeks ago, my kids were talking about how “trucho” their dad was. “Trucho” is Argentinian slang for fake/not authentic. They told my mom: “My dad had forgotten to get his girlfriend a Valentine’s gift so he wrapped the candy that his friend from Colombia brought to him and then at his work he found a sign saying “For You” with hearts so he gave those things to her”.
My mom and I almost chocked. I’m still laughing. But at least she got something!! In the 14 years together, the “trucho” took me once to the cinema for Valentine’s day and then he gave me a present the year after we broke up. That man really never read the manual. I’m shaking my head.
So a few days later, my mom asked me if the girlfriend had moved in with him. I said no. But I added that my kids knew her. She can’t believe how much things have changed. She said that before (and still), many unhappy people stay with their partner for the sake of the kids. I understand a part of that. Not all of it.
I left for the sake of my kids. They were learning all the wrong lessons. There was no love in that house. There was only abuse and control. That’s not the way a woman should be treated. Every time my kids raise their voices at me, I see the man yelling. I will not say I don’t yell, I do. But it’s different. I don’t hurt with my words. I’m just unloading. Plus, I don’t kick doors or make chairs fly.

Last night during dinner, I told my kids: “One of these days, hopefully, I’ll have a boyfriend. And there is a chance that if things go well, we’ll want to live together. That means that he could come to live here or we are going to move somewhere else. So, if you get to choose, how would you like my boyfriend to be?”
“Are you asking that because you want us to like him and treat him well?”
“Yes, of course!! I really want you to like the person I choose. It would be really difficult for me to like someone that you don’t like. So, how does he have to be?”

1- A good man. (Oldest son)
2- A man who loves you. (Oldest son)
3- A man who plays video games, specially Minecraft. (2nd son)
4- Not older than 50. “Come on, I’m 43, let’s extend that ok?” (2nd son)
5- And american so you can get the green card and we all move there. . Or a Chinese. “Eh??”. (3rd son)

“Very good points. Something else? What does he have to like? Music, cars, sports, art, cooking? Would you like him to play an instrument? Which one?
1- It’s the same (3 oldest sons)
2- The guitar (daughter)
3- Cooking and grilling would be awesome (oldest son)

“And would you prefer if he’s tall, short, blond, brown, red hair, no hair?”
1- It’s the same (all of them)

“Rich or poor?”
1- If he’s rich, he better be good. We don’t need another asshole. (That was my oldest son who’s not compatible with the man).

“Why nobody said: ‘Someone who makes you happy?'”
1- That’s obvious!! (My oldest son).

I was very happy to hear my kids’ opinion. And I love that they talk about the subject naturally. I wouldn’t have imagine my mom having that conversation with me and my sister when we were kids. A few movies came to my mind. I think that if I didn’t like the new partners of my parents, I would have treated them like Macaulay Culkin treated the thieves in “Home Alone”. I guess that my childhood had much more love than the one my kids have. I couldn’t imagine my parents with anyone else.
My second son came to my bedroom last night and said: “Please, don’t choose another man like the last one”. I would have expected that from oldest son, not from him. I’m glad slowly my kids see more clearly why I left their dad.

And, I found my Guinness!!

IMG_0068

But I wish I hadn’t!! OMG that stuff knocked me down in the least pleasant way. It tasted like rotten coffee. I didn’t remember that taste at all. The Guinness I remember left a sweet taste in my mouth. Could it be that I had the ‘classic’ before and this ‘extra stout’ is way stronger?

Many years ago, a friend told me: “When the Guinness is good, you should be able to write your initial letter on the foam. Then, when you finish your glass, you’ll find the letter on the bottom”.

So I tried. I swear there is a P there.

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I drank my beer pretty fast so the foam would last to keep the letter till the end and then get some good luck.
Not only the letter didn’t stay. I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I had difficulty to stand up and walk to the bathroom and back.
I was out around 11.30pm to wake up 2 hours later to have another bad trip to the bathroom.
Around 5am the piercing headache woke me.
Today I look like a zombie and my eyes can’t stand the light.

No more Guinness for momma. My Saint Patrick’s Day activity next year will be: Coloring a Leprechaun.

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~ by DotedOn on March 18, 2015.

21 Responses to “203”

  1. Ha ha! Colouring a Leprechaun! Sounds fun!
    Guinness tastes a bit bitter over here. But if it’s really chilled, it almost tastes sweet.
    Your kids seem really reasonable. They just want to be happy, you included. I pray that the man you all will love comes your way, you deserve it. No truchos or assholes too!
    I hope that you eyes stand the light soon… ha ha ha!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Some beer will do that, Paola! I hope that you feel better!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Well, now you know what your dating profile would have to include…recommendations from your kids! It’s a shame they were exposed to a ‘not so great’ relationship with their dad, but at least they seem to know right from wrong.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. It is always funny to hear a kids perspective on things. Got to love the video game requirement.

    Liked by 1 person

    • When he said that, I looked at him with the same face (you only care about the stupid video games!!), so he added: Not only me, I play with a guy that’s more than 50!! πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Loved how your kids replied to your question πŸ™‚ I truly hope you will find a man who truly loves you and treat you and you kids well πŸ˜‰ Praying for you and your kids ❀

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I absolutely loved this post, Paola. It’s so refreshing to see such honest dialogue between a parent and her children. This was definitely not the case in my family while growing up.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Kim! I’m brutally honest. But I understand the opposite too. Specially when I saw my friends being amazed as how it was in my house when I was a kid (and still is :D).

      Like

  7. Reblogged this on SURVIVORS BLOG HERE and commented:

    I forgot to reblog this one!

    Like

  8. Wonderful post P! I can picture the excitement of your children at participating in choosing a partner for you and a parent for themselves. Most of all, I enjoyed their devotion to you. It may not always be apparent with children but when they show their love, it changes things.

    Liked by 1 person

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