210

Wednesday. There is still some more to tell, so I continue the story where I left it yesterday.
We went home from the hospital. I was glad to be there. My mom was going to stay a few more weeks. I tried to relax as much as I could but the school had just started and my job was to pick the kids.
The doctor wanted to run some tests to see if my blood pressure was fine or not. It was high. Also my cholesterol level was high. More than double of the maximum allowed. Never in my life I had high blood pressure or high cholesterol levels, on the contrary, I could almost faint because the blood pressure was always low and I was always close to the minimum level of cholesterol, and very proud of it. So you have to imagine my face when the doctor said I needed to take pills to get back to normal levels. I said I was only going to take the pills if I could still breast feed. I have to admit that the doctor spent about 20 minutes checking a book and calling to several places until she found the right drug for me. I went to the pharmacy and ordered it.
Next day I started taking the pills. I noticed that I was very sleepy but I didn’t think it was because of the pill. After all, I was still exhausted. I took the second pill some hours later and I fell asleep while talking to my mom. I was practically narcoleptic. I need to mention also that I was oversensitive and everything made me cry.
Next day I went to pick my kids at school and I think I was sleepwalking. I couldn’t react to anything, I’m not sure how I got back home. I started understanding the “Do not operate heavy machinery”.
The next morning I decided not to take the pills and go to the doctor. I didn’t have an appointment so the receptionist said that I should go back home, make an appointment and come back. “Are you fucking kidding me?” All this while crying, of course. Sob, sob, curse, curse… A bit more of cursing-sobbing: “I will sit in front of the doctors offices until one of them has time for me”… I may have added a f&^k you…
I went to the waiting room and sat in front of the male doctor’s door because the female doctor wasn’t there. I started crying completely out of control. Some minutes after, the doctor opened the door to call the next patient but when he saw me, he let me go first.
“I want to stop taking the pills”
“OK”
I couldn’t stop thinking if this was all a joke or what. Not a warning, not an advice, not anything. Just a plain “OK”. So why in hell I had to start taking the pills in the first place? Never mind.
I couldn’t stop shaking my head. “I have to get out of this place because this place and its people are slowly killing me”.

The first thing I did as soon as I felt better, was to make an appointment to get an IUD placed. The thought of getting pregnant again and going through hell one more time, made me cringed.
A few days later, I had the IUD placed. About a week later, I started to bleed. And I kept bleeding for a couple of weeks. I called the doctor to check if it was normal. I was advised to wait until the next cycle and see. Again the same, the bleeding took about 25 days. I made an appointment to remove the IUD.
The gynecologist advised to run some tests and to use another kind and more modern IUD with hormones. I wasn’t really convinced but when I weighted the options, the secondary effects were way better than another pregnancy.
I made the appointment to place the IUD the same day I had to make the tests.

I entered the room. Imagine a big school room with the bed placed in the middle. No curtains or blinds or anything to block the view if someone opened the door. Which by the way, it happened a few times while I was at the doctor’s in Cowshitland. Knocking? No, why… who cares about the patient?
In the room there was the doctor, two nurses, a student, the man and me with my legs wide open. I had just taken the 4 pills they told me to take to avoid pain and to be relaxed. Guess what… Two of the pills were sedatives. And they work so well on me!
My tongue was asleep together with half of my brain. I could barely speak Spanish, and to formulate a sentence, I took about 20 seconds. I couldn’t process English so well (or at all) so I had the man translating and trying to reproduce what I was saying.
The doctor let the student do the tests. It was painful as hell, I fell humiliated, I couldn’t express it. The worse part was seeing my insides in two huge monitors in front of me. I was crying.
Soon after, the doctor came to insert the IUD. I was feeling sick and asked him to stop. He didn’t stop. I cried and babble something to the man like begging him to tell the doctor to stop. He said: “I think she has pain”. The doctor didn’t care much and continued doing what he was doing. I cried and said: “NO”. The doctor went on. Then I heard one of the nurses saying: “Doctor, SHE SAID NO”. So the rapist doctor sighed and stop for a bit. I couldn’t control the sobbing. I was very tense.
The man had again the face of: “Many women go through this, why it’s always you the one with all the problems?”.
I could barely breath and in the entire room, only the nice nurse was concerned about how I was feeling. She was holding my hand.
So many emotions made me more conscious. I manned up and let the doctor finish.
Then I asked: “Is it placed properly”.
“I’m satisfied about it, and if’s not in the right place, the hormones will prevent a pregnancy. So one or the other will work”.

My jaw dropped. I really wanted to kick the rapist doctor in the balls. Or at least, spit on his face. I think I held back because of the man.

~ by DotedOn on March 25, 2015.