Thursday. Β What I’ll write this time, happened in about a two years period . I start after my hormonal IUD was placed, somewhere in the spring of 2010.

Things with the man started deteriorating. I dreaded the time I was at home. I felt I could never make him happy. It didn’t matter how hard I tried, I did ALWAYS the wrong thing.
One good thing was happening though. My kids used to go to an international school in Cowshitland. That year, we, the moms, had formed a very nice group. We used to get together to celebrate birthdays or to help at school. We had several Girls Nights Out. The man didn’t like me to go out because he thought that I had to stay at home and take care of the kids.
The “You are the father and you must take care of them too” didn’t apply in our house.
So MY JOB was to feed the kids and get them ready to bed. If they were sleeping, then and ONLY then, I could go out. BUT, “you are taking the baby with you because since you are breast feeding, she belongs with you”.
Using that strategy worked for him a few times because I started fighting, then I inevitably cried and looked like crap afterwards, so I decided to stay at home.
One day I realized how his game was and told him: “I’m going out tonight. I don’t give a shit if my eyes are puffy. I don’t give a shit if I have to explain why I was crying. I don’t give a shit if you make me go out with the baby. I’ll go out anyway. And if I’m not done at 11.25pm to take the last bus to get home, I’ll call and you’ll pick me up”.
At 11.27pm I called and said: “I missed the bus but since I’m having fun, I’ll stay longer. I’ll call when I’m done”.

My days at the time were like this:
The man: “such a beautiful day and you stayed in the house with the kids????”
Next sunny day I decided to take the kids to a park. When kids are having fun , it’s not easy to make them understand that it’s time to go home. So I got home late. That meant that I started preparing dinner almost at dinner time. And of course, dinner wasn’t ready at 7.00pm.
So I had to stand the man saying: “I was working the whole day while you were laying on the sun having fun with your friends. The least you could do was to have dinner ready for me on time”.

Another example: “Why do you only dress nice when you go out with the moms?”
I felt terrible about that one. It was true. But it wasn’t on purpose or to hurt him. We didn’t go anywhere together without the kids. And when we went out as a family, we mostly went to kids friendly places and I didn’t feel like wearing my feather stole or my sequins dress (no, I don’t own any of those, I just wanted you to get the picture).

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So one day I called him and said: “Take me on a date, with the kids, we’ll have fun”. So I put on a dress and nicer shoes (not sport shoes or flip flops), I put on some make up and perfume, and waited for him.
When we saw the car approaching, we went outside. He looked at me, lowered the window and said: “Where the hell do you think we are going?”.
Of course. Did I really think I could please him? How naive I was!!

One night some months after, (maybe May 2011), we were watching a movie and I had to stand up to get something, when I got back and sat down, I felt like if something was trespassing my lower belly. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t talk. The pain kept me folded in the middle. I stayed on the couch for several hours. Next day I made an appointment to see a gynecologist. I was 100% sure that the IUD was the cause.
I said to the doctor: “I’m sure my IUD is not in the right place”.
“That doesn’t happen often, but we can make an ultrasound and see”.
She had a student with her, of course!
She proceed checking, looked at the monitor and exclaimed: “Oh God!”
“What’s wrong?” I said.
“Your IUD is almost outside. I’ll have to remove it NOW”.
If you never had that experience, it’s freaking painful. Specially if you didn’t take any painkillers before.
Then she said: “Stay there, I must check if you are pregnant”
“Sorry? What????????”
“Yes. There is a chance that you are pregnant”.
I was hyperventilating. I knew that the chance was very small because things with the man were a bit cold since my daughter was born. Still, there was a very small chance.

Thank goodness I wasn’t pregnant.
She made me dress and told me that if we didn’t want to have more kids, we should consider other methods, like permanent sterilization or a vasectomy.

And if you are guessing, the man was final with something like: “Nobody will cut my balls”.
Useless for me trying to explain anything else.
And if that wasn’t enough, he added the cherry on top: “Imagine if you are on a plane with the kids, you have an accident and you all die, I will want to have another family”.

~ by DotedOn on March 26, 2015.

18 Responses to “211”

  1. 😦 Yep they just try to keep us as small as possible.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Reblogged this on SURVIVORS BLOG HERE.


  3. I’m so sorry to hear that dear 😦 You are such a great person who should never be treated terribly. I’m glad you are no longer with him. You deserve someone way better than him πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I have already told you before, but I am REALLY glad that you left that f*cker.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh goodness! You are so lucky that you are no longer in this abusive relationship!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Some people cannot be pleased and I agree with Marissa’s comment that it was an abusive relationship. I’m glad you’re onto better times now xx

    Liked by 1 person

  7. It’s difficult to believe that men like that were born to a mother. I imagine a jackass instead.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. shit!! your ex is horrible! I got sterilized when I had my last baby, but only because I knew I couldn’t take care of more than three babies alone. My ex who by then had five kids was never even close to thinking he should have it done.. Even if he cant take care of any of them and are very well aware of it! Sad that men has so strange views.. And the comment about the plan situation.. OMG! I could kick his balls too!

    Liked by 1 person

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