Thursday. Thunderous, of course. I can’t describe how pissed at the man I am today. A couple of things happened and he’s MAD at me.
So now, every chance he gets, he does something that he knows, I hate.
But I already had planned what it’s going on today’s post, so that story will have to wait for a few days because I’m not ruining my lovely Friday to talk about him.
So I’ll continue with my “To Do” list. Now it’s the turn of the search terms of the past month.

Screen Shot 2015-04-06 at 11.18.33 PM

-The one on top… WTF!?
“Luis stopped talking to me after I said I had feelings for him Kat Ottawa”
Who searches that? and why it leads to my blog??

-Then 13 out of 16 about: boob/ass pressing, groping, grabbing… a classic.

-And we find again:
“Good man quotes”
“I wish I didn’t love you quotes”
Both of them just amaze me… I rarely use quotes, and if I do, I mostly quote my grandma.
Now I feel obligated to add a few quotes about those subjects,so next time someone looks for that, at least they’ll find something.

Good Men:



I wish I didn’t love you… (I imagine these forming part of a pathetic letter).



I hesitated for some time if I should write about this or not… My old followers know already that I have a pretty dirty mind… And my new followers are about to find out too.

Remember a few weeks ago when my mom was here and we went to Cowshitland to do some shopping? Well, we were in this store that sells whatever comes to your mind and it’s not really expensive. While looking around the aisles, I saw they had sexy lingerie on the back and I like teasing my mom so I took something and put it in front of me and asked: “What do you think?” She was laughing. I’ll never forget the time back in 1995 when together with my sister and friends we went to an “Erotic Theme” party in a huge Disco in Buenos Aires because we had this “artist” friend who performed in this I’m not sure how to call it at this point, but it kind of looked like a “partly dressed orgy/mud wrestling” thing on a stage build in the middle of the dancing floor. This friend, Pablo was a VERY shy guy. So seeing him performing was shocking. All the experience was shocking for me. I think my jaw dropped (and never went back to the original position), when we got in the place and we saw all those toys, none of them cars, but there were a few balls and some inflatable dolls too.
I really couldn’t believe my eyes… But I wanted a souvenir of that night! I didn’t dare to buy anything so I decided to take a few of the free catalogues that were laying everywhere.
Next day while we were having lunch with my family, I gave my mother and my brother a catalogue as a gift. I’m still laughing… Specially at my little brother, he was 17 then.
My mom has an incredible sense of humor but she HATES seeing sex scenes in movies (I wrote about the terrible experiences I had while she was here). The poor woman was blushing and shaking her head non-stop.

Let’s go back to the store. I continued looking around the same aisle and I saw something and exclaimed: “Look mom!!”


“A growing Willy!! If you soak it in water it’ll expand 600% the size… Imagine, from here, to the door!!”
“No way!! I want three!!”
“Yes, I want to bring one for Porfa (her gay friend) and for his friends… Do you dare to pay for them?”
“Sure, let them wonder what I’ll do with them”.

So as I was paying, near the cash register, I saw another item that was just perfect for her friend.
“What do you think?”


“Add one too”
“Yes mom”

A few weeks later, my dad got here.
Mom: “Look what I got for Porfa”
Dad: “Wow!! Where did you buy it??”
Me: “In Cowshitland”
Dad: “Are we going there too?”
Me: “Maybe… why??
Dad: “I want to get one for the guys” (The guys are the dentists who play tennis with him every Saturday).
I truly couldn’t hide my astonishment. (But if you think for a bit, that explains a few things about me…).

So we went to Cowshitland and got a few more Willies for the guys.

A couple of weeks ago, I video called my mom and she said: “Would you like to see the soaked Willy?”
So she brought a white bucket with the grown Willy in it… I’m sure I took a screenshot of it but I can’t find it anywhere… And now I feel terrible because I said to her:
“I’ll call tomorrow and let me find the Willy in a darker container because you can’t distinguished anything in this picture”. But I forgot to ask for it next time I called her.

A few days before I was leaving to Spain, my mom asked: “Are you going to Cowshitland soon?”
“No, why?”
“I need more lollies”
“Dick lollies???”
“Yes, I gave it to Porfa and he ate it right away without showing it to his friends”…
“Sorry mom, not going to Cowshitland but if I see them in Barcelona, I get some”
“Ok, get me at least 4”
At this point, I’m suspecting about the destiny of those lollies…

Then I went to Spain and told my cousins the story and asked them where I could buy them. No idea. Then we video called my mom and asked her to show us the Willy…
She said: “Your dad took it out the water and it shrank”…
We saw a medium size Willy.

The day I went to the mall in search of WiFi, I passed a store that sold sexy lingerie. I looked inside and saw some lollies… I went in immediately to get a few.
While I was looking for the money in my bag, the guy at the store put everything in a bag.
I said: “If you don’t mind, let me take all this out again and take a picture… I think I’ll feel ashamed if I have to do it somewhere else and I need to ask my mom if this is what she wanted”

You should have seen the guys face!


~ by DotedOn on April 16, 2015.

20 Responses to “232”

  1. Reblogged this on SURVIVORS BLOG HERE.


  2. Usually they shrink in the water….

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Nice find, Paola! lol Too bad they all don’t increase in size with a little water. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh goodness, I’ve been to several of those stores…but never with my mother! I guess there are surprises for all of us!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Sexed Up Twin P
    The conversion about dick follies is wrong on every level. Then to think Dad got into and Mom had to show you the John Holmes of dick follies. I have a very dirty mind, I keep it to myself. I don’t want the growing hot list of search terms you have. HAHAHA!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I could use some of those lollipops as gifts! I’m sure they would be a success!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Hilarious!! This is such a good post. Perfect finishing line as well 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. My pet dragon, Silly wee Willy Nilly has asked me to change his name. He doesn’t want anyone to think he’s a D!@K !! I’m sure with a name like that he could find himself in some predickaments. This was hilarious. You deserve another blog award for this post. And now the search terms may change a little. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hahahaha… I’m looking forward to the new search terms… Too many boobs and asses… Let’s see if someone is interested in growing Willies 😀


  9. hahaha You certainly have a sense of humor to make people around you have a good laugh dear 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  10. lolol this is too funny! a growing willie, class! xx

    Liked by 1 person

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