263

263

Sunday. Still cold and ugly. I promised my kids we were going to a flea market. To be honest, I feel like crap today and I wish I could stay in bed. Facing the day is hard. It’s past 11.30am and I still didn’t prepare breakfast. One of my kids left the faucet open in the kitchen but for some reason the water wasn’t falling in the sink. It fell on the counter… And then on the floor… And then it went to the living room. My daughter came to tell me that there was a lot of water downstairs. My oldest son confirmed it saying that for sure almost an inch. Perfect, they said they wanted a swimming pool last week.
That’s why I’m not leaving my bedroom yet. I can’t face reality today. I kind of got my heart broken again. And I feel like calling my mom and asking her to hug me. I need someone to tell me that everything is going to be alright.
Life can be hard when you make the wrong decisions. Life can be harder when you suppress your feelings. Life can suck when you don’t follow your heart.
But what happens when you take the right decisions, don’t suppress your feelings and follow your heart?
In that case, life can suck too.
Just take my word for it.

~ by DotedOn on May 17, 2015.

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33 Responses to “263”

  1. Reblogged this on SURVIVORS BLOG HERE.

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    DotedOn said this on May 17, 2015 at 11:36 am | Reply

  2. I’m sorry about your sink and your heart 😦 xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    kbailey374 said this on May 17, 2015 at 12:23 pm | Reply

    • Thank you K 🙂 ❤
      It gets better, right?

      Like

      DotedOn said this on May 17, 2015 at 1:59 pm | Reply

      • It always gets better. I am sorry someone has broken your heart. I can thoroughly understand the desire to stay in bed and just ignore reality. I am in the same place today. I had to do something that is likely to create confrontation between myself and another person. I hate dealing with conflict; it sparks my fight or flight mechanism, and I almost always choose flight. In this case, however, I have to be ready for the confrontation and stay to fight. I really, really just want to sleep in, and return to my comfy dream world.

        Follow your heart even if it may get broken, dance as if no one is watching, and laugh until your ribs ache. It all gets better 🙂 Sending you hugs and only good thoughts. Now, if it would just stop raining here, I think life would be perfect for now (I live in a desert, not Seattle). Oh, and remember, coffee (if you drink it) is the nectar of the sleepy 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        songtothesirens said this on May 17, 2015 at 3:06 pm

      • Thank you Jen 🙂
        I don’t drink coffee, if I do, I think I’ll be awake for three days 🙂
        I really hope it gets better… and soon.
        I don’t care for confrontation, I care only for the lack of communication… I hate not knowing, I hate wasting time, I hate misunderstandings…
        I’m sorry you are in the same kind of mood. I really would go back to bed now but I have to take care of my kids. It sucks!

        Liked by 1 person

        DotedOn said this on May 17, 2015 at 4:04 pm

      • Yep, I have to go pretend I am not an introvert and lead the discussion for my happy little band of Buddhists this morning. I would really rather just go ride my bike. I don’t know if the person I sent the email to will get it before the meeting, but it was a pretty short and to the point message about the lack of communication .

        Liked by 1 person

        songtothesirens said this on May 17, 2015 at 5:12 pm

      • I hope they did get your email on time.
        And I’m sure you’ll do fine 🙂
        Zen vibes to you!!

        Liked by 1 person

        DotedOn said this on May 17, 2015 at 6:32 pm

      • Well, the response to the email was remarkably hurtful and disrespectful which is something that was completely unnecessary. It was a good meeting though. not feeling real encouraged at the moment, but I’ll get over it. I always do.

        Liked by 1 person

        songtothesirens said this on May 17, 2015 at 9:22 pm

      • I’m sorry about the response and I’m glad the meeting was good.
        I wish I could encourage you!! 🙂 And you are right, you’ll get over it, and probably me too… I just want it to be NOW! 🙂

        Like

        DotedOn said this on May 18, 2015 at 12:43 pm

      • Absholutely, said Sean Connory. xoxo

        Liked by 1 person

        kbailey374 said this on May 18, 2015 at 2:12 am

  3. This is a concerning post Paola. I’m worried you are suffering from depression. I know it seems like a big step, but have you ever considered anti-depressants? My hubby and sister take them and they do make things better.

    Liked by 2 people

    Marissa Bergen said this on May 17, 2015 at 3:48 pm | Reply

  4. There is nothing wrong calling your support system for help. I wish I had a mother who could help me, (mine is toxic, long story). There is something magical about a mother’s love, no matter how old you are, even if it’s just a hug or encouragement. I have my dad and sister, it’s just not the same. Hope your Sunday is better!

    NIBSIH! 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    normalisboringsoiheard said this on May 17, 2015 at 8:47 pm | Reply

    • Thank you!! 🙂
      My mom lives very far away and if she knows I’m hurting, she’ll worry and probably hurt as much as I do. That’s why I’m not telling her yet 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      DotedOn said this on May 18, 2015 at 12:41 pm | Reply

      • Still there is nothing as comforting as knowing there is someone on your side unconditionally. Like my father tells me “Your my daughter, when your right your right, when your wrong your right, and we will discuss it privately!”. 😍! All parents worry and suffer with their children, my dad lives ten minutes away from me, it’s probably worse for him, because I have coffee with him once a week and tell him about my life’s woes for a few hours. I know he prefers to be a part of my life and provide comfort than be excluded. I have older children, they exclude me as to “protect”, like I am some sort of moron, and don’t know what they are going through, like I don’t see. Regardless, you always want to know what your child is feeling good or bad. Your victories and struggles are theirs too. It’s all part of parenthood.

        Liked by 1 person

        normalisboringsoiheard said this on May 18, 2015 at 7:32 pm

      • 🙂 Thank you!
        My kids go from 2.5 to 14. I’m a single mother (of 5) and I’m alone in this tiny town. My parents are very worried about me. So I try to avoid showing them when I’m not well… And I hate not being well… I hate pretending. That’s pretty much why I blog, to let it ALL out 🙂
        I’m amazed that someone is reading… And I’m beyond grateful to all the people who don’t really know me and care about me 🙂
        So again, THANK YOU! ❤

        Liked by 1 person

        DotedOn said this on May 18, 2015 at 7:42 pm

      • Don’t be surprised, the mean people who make up the world are a small percentage. There are a lot of good people out there, willing to help you all you have to do is ask.
        Have a great Monday!

        NIBSIH! 😊

        Liked by 1 person

        normalisboringsoiheard said this on May 18, 2015 at 7:49 pm

      • 🙂 Thank you NIBSIH, I’m Paola, nice to meet you 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        DotedOn said this on May 18, 2015 at 7:50 pm

  5. Paola if I could I would break out the Pom poms, I would post a picture of old lady undies, I would…what is it Paola? What can I do to make you smile?!!! Here’s a Mama (((hug))) since yours isn’t there. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    mandy said this on May 18, 2015 at 1:41 am | Reply

  6. It’s tough when you have to pretend to be ok, to be tough (ie at the meeting). Sounds like the day got progressively worse. 😦 I’m so sorry!

    Liked by 1 person

    kbailey374 said this on May 18, 2015 at 2:15 am | Reply

    • 🙂 My day got worse so I let my kids to have dinner in front of the TV… I think I’m only sending the wrong messages 😀
      I’ll write about it soon… 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      DotedOn said this on May 18, 2015 at 12:46 pm | Reply

      • There is not a thing wrong w/ doing that. I have a friend who is close to the end of a difficult pregnancy. You and I are sometimes gestating, as well. And that is the kind of advice I gave to her: that it’s ok for her kids to make their own peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, or to race to put their pajamas on, or to have dinner in front of the TV until they become glassy eyed. Ok, that last I just now made up, but seriously: you are a great person and a great parent. SEE my most recent blog post. It was posted for another friend, but will definitely help you. BIG HUGS!

        Liked by 1 person

        kbailey374 said this on May 18, 2015 at 2:31 pm

      • Thank you K! ❤
        I'll read it for sure. (The idea of another pregnancy kind of killed me… I could barely survive the last one! :D)
        And hugs back!!

        Liked by 1 person

        DotedOn said this on May 18, 2015 at 3:05 pm

  7. I’m sorry to hear of your let down. It is so difficult not to let someone cause us such pain. I hope things are a bit better now and the other person no longer has their grip on what makes you happy. Here is a big cyber hug and smile just for you —-> X 🙂 <—

    Liked by 1 person

    Randstein said this on May 19, 2015 at 6:43 am | Reply

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