267

267

Thursday. First of all, I’m sorry I’m so behind reading and replying to your comments. I’m having a hard time prioritizing these days. It’s not easy when your body begs you to go to sleep, your head is telling you it’s dinner time and your kids are starving and don’t have clean underwear and your heart is aching so much that it’s hard to breathe. I know, I have to prioritize ME… But what part of me?
I feel I’m defective, I should return myself to the factory and either come back with an instructions manual or be dismantled. I don’t understand myself. Every time someone says to me: “I know you” I want to say: “If you do, please help me out here. I’m still new in this area”.

I called my grandma yesterday. She sounded fine. She recognized me immediately and to my surprise, she didn’t cry. I had a knot in my stomach. The same feeling I used to have on the days I had to do exams. I’m not sure how many of you have that but on exam days, before leaving my house, I had to visit the toilet at least three times. Yesterday I contemplated calling my grandma from the bathroom. I really didn’t know what to expect.
She told me that she fell down and hit her head. She needed two stitches. That a police officer stayed with her in the middle of the street and she was begging him to help her stand up but the officer said he wasn’t allowed to touch her. That they had to wait for the ambulance. She stayed on the ground for over half an hour answering all kind of questions. And the officer saying: “How is it possible that you hurt your head and you are still conscious and can answer all this??!”

I’m not sure if I ever wrote about this but my grandma is as sharp as a samurai sword. It’s not easy to trick her. She smell the lies. She’ll ask you 20 things and wait until you contradict yourself, and trust me, if you are lying, you will and she’ll find out. She’s like a tiny female Sherlock Holmes with a mix of Catwoman (you better choose to be her friend). She’s loving with the people she loves but if you hurt her, I’m not sure she forgives or forgets. Let me rephrase… She’ll hate you for the rest of your life.
My grandfather cheated on her MANY times. I guess that helped to shape her character. He left her the day that my mother was getting married. (What a family I got!).
She’s 89. She has 4 kids, my uncle C (70), my mom (68), my uncle P (64) and my uncle L (52).
My uncle C (70) used to be the Golden Child… Until he became a cheater like my grandfather. Became?? Hell!! He was always a cheater, both of them. But I never loved them any less. Their bad choices didn’t make them a bad uncle or grandpa to me.

Later last night I called my mom. She told me that my grandmother is still pissed at my uncle C (70). The problem is that he has a girlfriend who is my age (43) and he’s missing some family gatherings because (apparently) he’s out having fun with the girlfriend.
We still don’t understand why she’s so against that. My uncle looks very happy. We suspect it’s because she still likes her ex-daughter in law. We all do, but they were really unhappy together.

I wrote this last year in August while I was visiting my parents. As you can see, not many things changed in the past 9.5 months.

Plans for the day: Having lunch at my grandma’s place. She’s 88 and she’s mad at my uncle. I’ll rewrite that, she’s MAD at my uncle. Why? Because he scored a girlfriend who’s my age (42).
Did you ever hear a woman complaining about her son’s girlfriend? The shocking part for me is that my uncle is not 21 anymore and I really don’t get why my grandma cares so much about it.
I’ll try to reproduce the latest phone conversation (Only the part where my mom replies, but I think you can guess what’s my grandma saying and how loud I’m laughing).

“Please stop it!! He’s a grown man”
“You should be happy for him”
“No, I don’t think he’s forgetting his family”
“Come on! He’s almost 70 years old! Let the man use his last bullets! How many more erections do you think he’ll have?”

So my mother told me last night:
“I just got off the phone with your grandma. She told me you called her this morning. She was very happy about it. She feels better. And then she went on with the usual: “I can’t believe your brother!! How can he be SO HORNY… Just like your father!!”.

You have to imagine that after my mom told me that, I felt more relaxed. It’s like my grandma is back. We don’t know for how long. Her body is failing her.
It must be terrible to be aware of that. To know that you are losing some parts of yourself and you are conscious of all those changes and try to fight them, knowing that in the end, you’ll lose the battle.

~ by DotedOn on May 21, 2015.

12 Responses to “267”

  1. Reblogged this on SURVIVORS BLOG HERE.

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  2. I wish you a peaceful Thursday 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Your grandmother sounds like a very interesting woman. Think she is just mad at your uncle because his behavior is so like her husband’s. Also I don’t blame her for being upset about his relationship with the younger woman, because I think those relationships are often unhealthy and don’t last but, she should know that that is your uncle’s problem.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. hmm, you’ve given me some fodder to understand my mother/brother relationship…

    Liked by 1 person

  5. so sorry to hear about your grandma.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I think your uncle should go home and get a spanking so she can relax. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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