269

269

Saturday. Not feeling really well today. I thought I could work a bit in the garden and pond removing weeds but it’s cold and raining. Probably I should be glad, that’s the perfect excuse for not doing it.
Yesterday the man came to pick my kids. He’s just back from Greece so I decided to drop a few bombs because he was probably still having the “holiday’s feeling”. Not my smartest move, of course. But some things had to be said and the longer I keep them the heavier they feel on my shoulders.
He wanted to know why I looked kind of sad. I still can’t be honest with him. I wish I could. I wish that for once he considered my feelings and thoughts. His point of view is that he always has and that I have everything my way. I keep shaking my head. How can he think that? Why doesn’t he see that I’m here for our kids sake? I’m in this place so my kids have their dad near. My way??
He said I’m heartless. He said I’m full of hate inside. I was really puzzled. I really didn’t know what to do after that. I was tempted to go to the supermarket and get 5 chocolate bars and 3 pots of ice-cream but I restrained myself because I made a bet with Rob at the V-Pub to see who could lose 3 pounds in less time.
Rob, is the bet still on? Because if so, I’m about to get my prize!!

A couple of days ago:

FullSizeRender (1) IMG_1605

And today:

IMG_1611 IMG_1616

I only have to keep myself far from the fridge one more day or two. Anyway, I want to reach 57.5kg/127lb. And I’m trying to get there for almost a year and it’s really hard!

So what could I do instead of eating? I decided to watch a movie. Shopgirl. And that was another wrong choice. I should have stuck with Adam Sandler. I thought I could handle a romantic comedy. Well, all indicates that I’m not ready to leave the comedies yet.
It seems that I have an incredible capacity to relate anything to my life.

“Any resemblance to actual persons — living or dead — is purely coincidental.”

Right now I’m watching with one eye “Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves” on TV to see if I can find any resemblance. So far I can only concentrate in how hot Christian Slater is. And I’m so glad about that.

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~ by DotedOn on May 23, 2015.

23 Responses to “269”

  1. Reblogged this on SURVIVORS BLOG HERE.

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  2. Congratulations. You’ll have to let us know if you won. I haven’t heard anything about Rob losing 3 lbs but you never know!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. P
    Your not focused on the future by watching movies you know will make you sad. Does that make sense. You don’t need someone to hurt you, you do a fine job yourself. Focus on loving yourself and chances many things in you life will change.
    I’m right here with you.
    Hugs
    M

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    • Twin, I didn’t know it was going to make me sad!! I’m avoiding everything that can make me sad for over 2 years!! 🙂
      I know I’m pretty good at hurting myself 🙂 I’ll try to follow your advice 🙂
      And thanks for being there ❤ 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • 2 years is a long time, spill your guts and start telling what’s on your mind, it someone gets mad at least they know where you stand. Then it’s up to both to work. I know it’s hard. It’s a story that has a 25+ years attached to it. Botton line my high school boyfreind dated off and on for that lenghth. He was married, filed divorce and in process of moving in with me. Four days before his divorce was final he said going back to wife. I blew every gasket I had. He calls me six months later to say he didn’t go back to wife. I went on a weekend conference, he screwed around and someone he works with came up pregnant. Like is wasn’t bad enough but he has to call and tell me the real, I didn’t care by then. I know how difficult relationships can be. I’ve had several disappointment. I would allow myself to cry and feel sad for X time, then it was get it together. Repair confidence, stop trying to please everyone and allow yourself to move forward. It doesn’t matter how it turns out, you still have to do the work. Guit being a people pleaser, learn how to say what you need. Be calm, ask guestions, stop kicking your ass because a something happened.
        Bigs hugs!
        Your doing good with V Pub’s encouragement. I want to know if V Pub might be interested in talking to me about joining. I don’t know him, maybe two comments from.
        You can email me with your thought.
        🙂
        Smile
        125 lbs is a big goal, I gave up on that size long time ago. I’m getting very sick so it’s possible over time. I’m not worried about weight, I just want to live.
        M

        Liked by 1 person

      • Twin, I always say what I have in my mind, that’s probably my problem!! I should keep this big mouth shut for once!! 🙂
        What kind of joining with V-Pub are you talking about? 😀
        He’s a great guy, you can ask him 🙂
        And I want to reach 127.5lb… Not less because then I look sick 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • My intent was talk about joining our group.Thoughts?
        🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • Talk to him 🙂
        He’s nice and honest 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • If you talk to him soon can you mention I will touch base with him. He is a great addition to the team. We need more male perception.
        🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • I will Twin 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I made the same mistake w/ Shop Girl. It was a good movie, just heavier than what I expected. I’m sending sunshine your way. Let me know when you get it. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I hate putting on a movie with Tiger Mom and the daughters and grand daughters and then the movie has a man treating a woman badly. I catch so much hell. I hate those movies. In fact, I don’t like to watch movies of women treating men badly either because the girls laugh all the way through and I can’t concentrate on figuring out who dunnit. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • I understand that perfectly! 🙂
      I love watching movies but the after effect is not always the expected and some times it kinds of scratches on very sensitive parts and the pain is unbearable! (Even stupid cartoons are doing that nowadays!) 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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