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Mug shot Tuesday. Forget past and move one. I’m so tempted to do that. I really need a clean start. This catching up things is making me crazy. This trying to fix things is really exhausting. I wish I could use this old saying we have in my country: “Borrón y cuenta nueva” (Start with a clean sheet). Not many things are as pleasant as starting a new notebook (at least for me). It would be so nice to let go of everything that doesn’t make me happy and get all new things. Sparkling new. Put everything in a bag and throw it far away (huge bag in my case).
Second sunny day in a row. I’m rubbing my eyes because it’ll stay sunny. Not like the past days when it was beautiful only for a couple of hours.
A few minutes ago, I took screenshots of the weather forecast. I will believe that when I see it. And I really hope I see it because I miss complaining about: “How hot it is!!”.

aaaa3 aaa1

Saturday 38ºC/100ºF?!? No way, before Saturday it’ll rain 3 times and it’ll be half that temperature. Let’s see who’s right.

Now I should go and hang the laundry (for the 4th time since I put the clothes lines 6 weeks ago).

I’ll paste something I read last Sunday that made laugh with tears in my eyes. I hope it makes you laugh too.

These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid

ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male.
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?

And last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

~ by DotedOn on June 30, 2015.

11 Responses to “308”

  1. Reblogged this on SURVIVORS BLOG HERE.


  2. Ha, I needed a laugh today!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I wish it was sunny here!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hi Twin
    Check out you award wall it messed up. I’m working on post for later in week. I just never know.
    Take care.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Thanks, for posting! Here’s hoping the sun continues to find you in every way.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Bwaa haa haaa! I never knew court rooms were so entertaining. I’ve spent my entire life trying to avoid courts.

    Liked by 1 person

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