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Monday. Still cold and raining. This year really sucks. I’m glad at least I could wear my dress once. This morning I had to stay with my son at the kindergarten because he was doing the adaptation for the new group where he’s going to be next year. I think I yawned about 40 times in less than one hour. Is it there a way to avoid yawning (that doesn’t involve sleeping?).

A few weeks ago I decided I needed a swimming suit and I was going to buy it online. I don’t like shopping and even if I did, I’m not sure where I could buy one in this town.
That was my second time ordering (actual) clothes online. I must say that it took me a couple of days to decide which one I liked and to understand the sizes. Apparently an Asian XL is equivalent to an M in the rest of the world.

I could never fit a swimming suit like this one. I think my ankles are the size of her waist… Are those pictures real?

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Anyway, the pictures inspired me to look for a high waist bikini. I like bikinis but hate my stretch marks, so I thought that if I could find a bikini that had high waist and the upper part actually covered something more than the nipple, I was going to be very happy.

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You can imagine that there are many models but the problem is always the size. I couldn’t fit the biggest size of most of the bikinis I found.
So I entered the words ‘Plus Size’ on the search and I got results like: “Fat Woman Bikini”. Wow… Everything is f#$ked up. You don’t look like the plastic girl above and you are called fat.
So sad…

And then I found this picture that made me smile.

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My thighs touch but I don’t care if I’m adored by thousands of men… I just want to be adored by “the one”.

Next month is the 53rd anniversary of Marilyn’s death. She’d be 89 now, like my grandma.
She was one of the most beautiful women in the world, right? But she wasn’t happy.

Beauty is nothing if you are not loved.

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I hear you, Marilyn!


~ by DotedOn on July 13, 2015.

14 Responses to “321”

  1. Reblogged this on SURVIVORS BLOG HERE.


  2. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  3. But Marilyn was loved by so many, I think she just didn’t realize it. Good luck with your bathing suits!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I found the swimming suit! (after a really long search!!)
      I think men love the idea of Marilyn more than what they loved her. I don’t know how to explain it, but from her words, I get that no one really got her the way she felt it was right, like she never had her true love. (That’s pretty much how I feel, my idea of perfect love can’t be easily match (and I know it exists, and I’m going to get it!). 🙂


      • Yes, I saw the swimsuit on your blog today. It is SO cute!!
        Yeah, don’t really know what to say about Marilyn. I think there was something fragile in her and she just never thought she was loved for anything beyond her looks. Who really knows? She just seemed to have a kind of captivating personality which I’m sure made men lust after her until the day they died. I’m not sure if that is love, but then, what is?

        Liked by 1 person

      • Lust, only lust! And I think she could feel that. She probably wondered if they would like her if she were not pretty.
        It’s like when you feel that someone likes you for something you have and not for who you really are.


      • Fortunately, or unfortunately, I would not know how that feels!

        Liked by 1 person

      • I think it feels awful! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  4. It’s true buying bikini online is particularly hard. Even though I’m Asian, I do find Asian size tend to run really small on me also. 😦 Being big or small is never a big issue. Most importantly, it’s to be happy right? 😉 Stay happy sweetie ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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