Friday. It’s not raining. I’m smiling and baking a cherry pie. I don’t need to watch my weight because I don’t think I’ll be wearing my bikini any time soon. I’ve been very lazy these past days. I didn’t feel like doing anything, so I didn’t do a thing. I’ll probably be regretting my poor decisions, but for the time being, I don’t care.
Since 2009 everything seems to go wrong. And if it’s not entirely wrong, it’s full of obstacles. I’m tired. I wish I had in front of me the sucker who said:

Screen Shot 2015-08-21 at 12.22.46 PM

That’s A LIE!! What didn’t kill me left me in intensive care the better times and in a coma all the other times. Recovering took months. And I’m still recovering of some things. I don’t feel stronger at all, on the contrary, I feel freaking weak. My body is tired and my mind is tired.
I got it, I’m strong person. But I’m not sure I can keep being strong if more (hard rock) shit is thrown at me.
How much can one person handle? Imagine a person is like a shelf. How many books can you put on it before it breaks?

And that’s why I’m not doing anything. I decided to rest. As much as I can. Go to bed when I please and wake up when I’m tired of being in bed. I can do this now because my kids don’t have to go to school. I need to gather some energy. The energy I’m not getting from the sun and that I miss terribly.
I like being able to say I don’t want to do this. I like being able not to do it and I love not caring about what anyone else thinks about it.

I was wrong. I messed up. I took the wrong decisions. I can’t change the past no matter what I do.
Good bye old life. I feel like I need a second chance at being happy. I don’t know how much time I have, so I better don’t waste it.


Ladies and Gentlemen, enjoy Shinedown

Second Chance
(written by Brent Smith & Dave Bassett)

My eyes are open wide
By the way
I made it through the day
I watch the world outside
By the way
I’m leaving out today

I just saw Haley’s comet, shooting
She waved, said, “Why are you always running in place”
Even the man in the moon disappeared
Somewhere in the stratosphere

Tell my mother, tell my father
I have done the best I can
To make them realize
This is my life
I hope they understand
I’m not angry, I’m just saying
Sometimes goodbye is a second chance

Please don’t cry one tear for me
I’m not afraid of what I have to say
This is my one and only voice
So listen close it’s only for today

I just saw Haley’s comet, she waved
She waved, said, “Why are you always running in place”
Even the man in the moon disappeared
Somewhere in the stratosphere


Here is my chance
This is my chance


Sometimes goodbye is a second chance
Sometimes goodbye is a second chance


~ by DotedOn on August 21, 2015.

23 Responses to “360”

  1. Reblogged this on SURVIVORS BLOG HERE.


  2. Get your rest while you can, I’m doing the same!
    And you are stronger inside, you just don’t know it yet šŸ˜Š

    Liked by 1 person

  3. YES! Rest is always a good choice when feeling low! I attack my obstacles the same way as you ā¤

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I recall a line for Love and Death. The lead character is in a hopeless situation, and his comrade says “God is testing us”. He responds by saying “I wish he’d given us a written test”. Sometimes things seem overwhelming, but you are strong and will grow even stronger.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Let just forget anything and take a good rest. I do feel the same way when obstacles keep attacking me. No mater what happened, we will always be there for you ā¤ šŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Oh, it’s a shame you won’t be able to wear that adorable bikini! Maybe you’ll get a vacation or something. Yep, good luck with the whole sleep when you want thing. I hope you can get back on track when they go back to school though!!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Well at least there’s pie! šŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  8. And you know what dear? You have all the right in the world to feel that way. All of us at some stage can’t hold up any longer. Everyone says be strong.. Especially for your kids… But aren’t we human? Don’t we deserve to sometimes do nothing but mourn and feel sorry for oursleves?
    Everytym u feel like you need to just do nothing… Do what your heart tells you. Because you are special, if not to anyone else, atleast you are to yourself and to GOD.
    Been following you for abit, and really enjoy ur posts. So many that I can relate to myself.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you very much for this comment šŸ™‚ You made me smile. I wish I could be everyday happy and smiley, but when that’s not the case, I want to be able to cry and mourn without feeling guilty.
      You are right, we are humans!
      ā¤ šŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  9. […] Doted On […]

    Liked by 1 person

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