448

 

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Mug shot Tuesday. I’m single not and desperate. Many of you have been reading my blog for quite a long time so you know that if I left the NOT instead of the AND, I’d be lying.
Yes, I admit it. I HATE BEING SINGLE. I hate it. I admire all those people who choose to be single. OK, wait. I chose not to marry the man but I didn’t consider myself single, or this single. This kind of single without any person who I can give all the love I have, it sucks.

Do you know that Robbie Williams song called “Feel”?
That song always gives me goosebumps… Specially this part:

I just wanna feel real love
Feel the home that I live in
‘Cause I got too much life
Running through my veins, going to waste

And I need to feel
Real love
And a life ever after
I cannot give it up

I also have too much life and love going through my veins and I’m terrified it’s all going to waste. I wish I knew what to do. I wish I had magic powers. I wish I could blink my eyes and make things happen.

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Do you think that if I wear my belly dancing costume and rub my lamp I could make something happen. I guess I have to try. There is nothing to lose, right?

I’m sorry, I think I’m grieving today. I wish I knew how long all the process will take this time.
It’s said that grief have 5 stages. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I always wondered how they worked. Do you get them in that order? Do they happen only once? I was mad for a while, I feel depressed right now. I think I did some bargaining and I’m also in denial. Will I ever accept all the crap and move on? Or I will go back to being mad and stay depressed until I freaking get what I want?

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I hate this… I don’t want to settle for a hamburger, not even if it’s vegetarian. I want my f#$king fries.

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~ by DotedOn on November 17, 2015.

26 Responses to “448”

  1. Reblogged this on SURVIVORS BLOG HERE.

    Like

  2. Do you try internet dating?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Grief is definitely a messy thing, and the stages are not discreet, they happen all over the place, many at once, or none, or all, in order, out of order, anything.
    I love that song too, and I can relate to it.
    When I was between marriages, I adored being single. LOVED it. But I think I took all that love and gave it to myself. I fell in love with me, I paid attention to me, I rediscovered myself. And it was wondrous. Even though I’m very happy in my relationship, I still think about that time I spent alone as absolutely essential to where I am now.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I can’t deal very well with grief right now. My support system is one ocean away πŸ™‚
      I was single for too long, now I want to share my love with someone else πŸ™‚ (Kids don’t count! πŸ™‚ )

      Like

  4. :/ I’ve never seen the 5 stages set out like that and reading there’s a lot of truth? Honey you’re a lady who has friends, could any of them get you started on a dating app just for fun, you know see what happens? Have a laugh πŸ™‚ x

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Honey I hope I don’t upset you by keep harping on about internet dating?

    A lady young wrote wrote this comment on one of my posts, she’s absolutely right in what she says, have a read lol:

    ‘You’d be amazed, Andrew. There are people out there looking for other people of every size, shape, colour, creed and inclination. It’s very likely that if you register for a dating site, and describe yourself as who you really are, while keeping it positive β€” here’s an example: β€œShy, sensitive, quiet intelligent male seeks warm and loving female to bring him out of his shell β€” or at least help him furnish it better” β€” someone will LOVE that. Someone who you have not yet met and do not know exist. But someone. Be honest, keep it positive, and lay off the BS β€” that’s my advice to you. And the very best of luck to you!’

    Quite good isn’t it! And this is from a lady who dates a lot πŸ˜‰ I met Amanda off WordPress but never carried on, I see you in the Mandy top and YOU ARE a good looker πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Might I say a nice chest as well!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Cool

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Honey I think you know exactly what I’m thinking. I also wish I could “wear my belly dancing costume and rub my lamp I could make something happen.” Are you a mind reader? πŸ˜€ πŸ˜‰ πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

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