452

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Saturday. It was somewhere in ’96, I don’t really remember when. I was in charge of buying something blue for my cousin, she was getting married. Every day, while on the bus on my way to work, I passed a lingerie factory that had a window showing all the models they produced.
After some thinking, I decided to get her sexy lingerie (bra, panties and a garter belt). One day, just before her bachelorette party, I stepped off the bus, went to the store, told the woman what I needed, chose the one I liked, bought it, and left.

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Of course, for several months I kept taking the bus to work every day and watching all those models of lingerie hanging there until one day, I couldn’t resist anymore, so I went back to the store and got a garter belt for myself. A black one.
At the time, I was in a long distance relationship with the Dutch guy who I had met the previous year during holidays and had the plan to visit in December.
I thought: “This would be a nice present”.
Well, I’m sure he liked the present very much but it wasn’t what I expected. I think I got something like: “Wow, you look nice”… And I was kind of expecting some kitchen counter action or thing of the sort.

Fast forward to a couple of years later. I told the man I had a garter belt, stocking and some other stuff and asked him if he would like me to wear them. I believe he said that he didn’t because I hadn’t bought those things for him. OK…

A few more years passed. It was somewhere between 2005/2006. I still had the extra weight of two pregnancies and decided to do something to lose some pounds. I don’t think YouTube existed at the time but I had the possibility to download some workout videos from some site.
If you know me, you know that I’M NOT COMPATIBLE AT ALL with sports… So when I found a few videos called something like: “Strip Tease Workout”, you bet my name was on them.
So I got the videos and started practicing the routine. I truly enjoyed that. You could see I had fun and it didn’t feel like a workout… Plus, I imagined that in the end, I was going to have a nice reward… And it wasn’t going to be a chocolate bar.

So one day, I put on my battle suit (the black one with a lot of lace and ribbons) and decided to show the man my routine. He kind of laughed at me. I was puzzled. WTF is wrong with this man?!? Did I look that awful?
In any case, I decided that I was never going to do something like that for him anymore.

Few more years passed and it was somewhere in 2013. I had left the man and had 3 more kids then, and for some reason that I still don’t know, all the extra weight of all the pregnancies that I could never lose, went away magically.
So there I was, more or less with the same weight I had in ’96, but a bigger bra size.
I didn’t really know how I looked because I didn’t have a full body mirror.
One day in spring I went out after 6 months of only leaving the house 4 times. I didn’t have my winter jacket on so I could see the reflex of myself in a window. I had to stop. I couldn’t believe it. I looked really thin and nice but couldn’t stop thinking about how sad and depressed I was. It was like a joke…

At the time, I had met this really nice guy (25, I was 41) while playing Words with Friends and I told him about my garter belt experience and how bad I had felt. I needed to know what men thought about sexy underwear. Do they really like that or what? He said he LOVED it and couldn’t understand why other men didn’t.
I couldn’t understand it either, specially when I felt that maybe the underwear was nice but the problem was me.
So I put on my battle suit again, took a picture and sent it to him asking: “What do you think?”. His reply made me smile.
I knew I wasn’t perfect (or 23 anymore). I just needed reassurance.

I’m glad my last garter belt experience was a nice one. I hate when I have to put away things that bring me sad memories.

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~ by DotedOn on November 21, 2015.

23 Responses to “452”

  1. Reblogged this on SURVIVORS BLOG HERE.

    Like

  2. Weird, different strokes for different folks I guess.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Enjoyed this, as Marissa said, weird guy who doesn’t want to see …and needs a ct of the brain.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. His loss! BTW, she looks like the women at the shopping mall. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. That Post cheered me up no end 🙂 I bet you looked fabulous and all woman!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I can relate! My days of lingerie are over, but I remember always thinking there was something wrong with me. You are beautiful!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Unappreciative responses are just mind boggling. I mean, first, if it’s not your thing, still compliment and make a big deal. Someone went through time and effort, so don’t be a donkey. Second… seriously never understood how people don’t like lingerie. It’s like Christmas morning… but much more fun.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I think men in general like sexy lingerie, but some men are a bit weird. Well nevermind, you are beautiful no matter what. It’s him doesn’t know how to appreciate it 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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