Sunday. I’m still jet lagged and exhausted. I hope I don’t take too long to adjust to the normal rhythm.

On Friday when I was on the train on my way here, my ex sent me a message asking if I let my 3rd son have a playdate on Saturday at 10am.
I asked who was inviting him and he said that Robbie’s father called asking if he could pick my son.
I said it was OK because I thought they lived near my youngest son’s kindergarten.
Then he wrote: “No, that’s where his mother lives. His dad lives somewhere else”. So he told me the name of another town far away.
I asked: “Do you know the father?”
He: “No”
Me: “I don’t know him either. I know the mother and I don’t like her much. I don’t like my son going anywhere with someone I don’t know”

Then my ex said that the mother called him saying they were divorced and that she had it ot.
I read that and I was like: “eh?!”

That’s the message my ex sent to me.
It says: “They are divorced and she has it ot”. He wrote aliente instead of caliente.

Screen Shot 2016-03-06 at 1.59.43 PM

I read that message and didn’t really understand what he meant. He soon asked: “What should I say?”
Me: “Crap. I don’t know… Ask 3rd son what he wants and check if the father is nice”.
He: “OK”

Then I had to change trains and I didn’t have wifi.
Later when I got to the station he was waiting for me. On the way home I asked: “So, is 3rd son going tomorrow?”
He: “I didn’t arrange anything yet. You can find the phone number on that paper if you want to call”
Me: “Ok”.

In Spanish (at least in my country), we use the word caliente (hot) with two meanings: 1) Mad. 2) Horny.

So I had to ask: “What did you mean when you wrote “aliente”? Is she mad at her ex or is she horny?
He: “Horny”
Me: “How can you tell?” I needed to ask.
He: “First of all, she kept saying loud: ‘MY EX’ like telling me: ‘I’M SINGLE’ and then the way she talked to me”
Me: “I see… Do you know who that woman is?”
He: “I’m not sure”
Me: “The blond, rude and loud. I don’t like her much. She’s the one who annoyed you at the parent-teacher meeting last year, remember?”

Then I thought I was probably sounding jealous so I added: “I’m sorry I’m telling you this, I hope I didn’t ruin your plans”. And I laughed. Then I said: “Do you know who Robbie is?”
He: “No”
Me: “Do you remember when 3rd son told the stories about the kid who stole money a couple of times? That’s Robbie. “Robbie The Robber” as we call him. I’m not happy with my son playing with him but I can’t choose his friends. And you also know what I think about these things, right? If the boy steals it’s maybe because he learned it from their parents”.
He: “Oh… I don’t like that either. So, what now?”
Me: “If he calls I’ll say I didn’t see my kids in two weeks and that I want to be with them”.
He: “Good idea”.

On Friday evening nobody called and my mobile phone didn’t have battery. I charged it Saturday afternoon and when I turned it on, I found a missed call. I didn’t know the number so I decided to ignore it.

Later my son asked me if he could play with his friend and I said: “He didn’t call. Maybe next time. You know what the problem is? I don’t know his dad”.
He looked at me like saying: “What’s the problem? You don’t have to play with him, I’ll play with his son”.
I feel a bit bad about it but I’m sure I would have felt much worse if I let him go.

Am I paranoid? Overprotective?


~ by DotedOn on March 6, 2016.

17 Responses to “558”

  1. Reblogged this on SURVIVORS BLOG HERE.


  2. Paola, in this day and age, it’s difficult to be OVER-protective. My son is now 30 years old and back when he was a teenager and wanted to start dating, the girls he was meeting weren’t from town so I didn’t know their parents. One time he and his friend, Gary (next door) wanted to see two girls and go to the mall with them. Not even a local mall, but one in NY (it’s 15 minutes to the state border on this side of the river). I’d say he was 14 or 15 at the time. I drove them to the girl’s house and directly asked the mother what the situation was. “Oh, we’re going with them, so they’ll be fine.” This woman led me to believe the kids would be chaperoned and with the parents the whole time they were at the mall. I came to find out the parents went their own way and left the 4 of them to do what they wanted. Of course, we know how that can possibly go!

    Anyway, I was totally pissed off. Then, when he was turning 16 and met a new girl, I drove him to her house and insisted I wanted to meet her parents. I didn’t know these people and when I went in, I told them exactly that—“I don’t like to just leave my son anywhere without first meeting the parents.” They said they do the same thing. They saw nothing odd about it, even though he’s a boy. Anyway, that girl later became my daughter-in-law πŸ™‚

    So, long story short—the parents themselves should understand why you would want to meet them first and you should be able to actually say it, in my opinion. The truth is, even the “nice” parents may allow things you wouldn’t. You can’t control everything, BUT—you do want them to be safe. Better to be safe than sorry—a VERY true cliche!

    Liked by 2 people

    • I love the ‘that girl became my daughter-in-law’, I have no children and would say there’s absolutely no harm checking.

      Liked by 2 people

    • That’s a nice story, Donna!! πŸ™‚
      This is a very small town and when I don’t trust, I’m looked at like if I were paranoid or crazy. I come from a big city and a place where kids were (are) taking away from anywhere, even when their parents are watching at them.
      In the other hand, in little towns like this a lot of horrid things happen and they are kept in the shadows (or purposely hidden and I’m still trying to understand why’s that).
      I’m glad Robbie’s parents didn’t call back and if they thought I was avoiding them… Well, they are right and I don’t care!! πŸ™‚
      I rather protect my kids and seem rude than pretend nothing is happening and stay nervous all the time. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Personally I’m always happy when my kids get a playdate and as long as it’s someone I’m kind of familiar with, I’ll let them go. I’ve never had an incident where it was someone I didn’t know at all.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m with you, if you haven’t had a proper meeting and know them and son, no way. Even in High School my granny would not let spend the night with anyone.
    On a fun subject, David went to post and picked up the form needed. It may take another week or so to get him to go back. The good thing is we are moving forward and soon you’ll celebrate Christmas in the spring.
    Good luck.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I like the idea of Christmas in spring πŸ™‚ Thank you, Twin!
      Your granny was right, she only wanted to protect you πŸ™‚ ❀


  5. Yes. You are paranoid and overprotective. But there is a simpler way of stating that… it’s called Mom (and that’s not a bad thing and I understand it comes as part of the job description). But, along with that comes mother’s intuition which is probably what has you being overprotective and paranoid about Robbie the Robber. Oh, and then there is this thing I call Mom’s prerogative… it’s basically this: When mom is cold, everyone is cold; when mom is hungry, everyone is hungry; when mom wants to see her kids after two weeks…. you best damn well be in the room to see mom after not seeing her for two weeks. πŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

  6. You got me at a loss there.

    Liked by 1 person

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