559

559

Monday. I set the wrong alarm for this morning and I opened my eyes half an hour later than supposed to. My kids had only 10 minutes to get ready. I’m not sure how they managed to be on time.
I’m glad that I leave the lunch boxes and breakfast ready the previous night. Specially on days like today when I don’t even know my name in the morning.
I remember having a very strange dream and saying: “Things will have to change”. I wish I could remember more and I wish many things change too.

I mentioned a couple of days ago that my kids didn’t miss me. Todd at rtoddwrites.wordpress.com advised me to make them feel guilty so I decided to follow his advice.
I confronted my older son to see what he had to say.
This is how the conversation went. You can read below Todd’s reply when I told him what happened:

Screen Shot 2016-03-07 at 3.16.52 PM

I think that this “guy code” thing is source of misunderstandings. Guys should be more clear when they express their feelings. It’s already bad that some of us women hear only what we want to hear. If you men decide not to say what you mean and you say what you think it’ll be understood, there is a really big chance that things don’t go the right way.

I can already see the future. My son will have a really hard time communicating with the opposite sex. If he keeps using the “guy code” he won’t be understood. I’m his mom and I’m persistent but not many women are like me.
Some will take the words said and that will be it.
“So, you didn’t miss me??? Ok, I’ll find someone else who will”. And I can be that woman too because come on! how much patience one should have?

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~ by DotedOn on March 7, 2016.

11 Responses to “559”

  1. Reblogged this on SURVIVORS BLOG HERE.

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  2. Your son will probably get better as he gets older but I don’t think he’ll ever completely get over that as long as he’s a straight man (and by that I mean not gay). The good, or maybe bad news is, that as for the girl who’s saying ‘If you don’t communicate, I’ll find someone who will…well good luck to her because they’re all the same!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. OK, so first: I think it’s good that you actually said to him “well, you didn’t SAY that,” though I don’t agree with the “you suck” response, my dear 🙂 Truth is, this being your son, this is the perfect opportunity to try to teach and influence him to BECOME a man who SAYS what he should. The fact that you got divorced and your ex is “changing” too late is the perfect example to your kids of how NOT to be in a relationship. They often either IMPLY or DON’T SAY AT ALL the things they mean, and yes, this leads to misunderstanding in MOST relationships, romantic or not.

    I’m not sure if it’s guys being clueless (women can be, too, but not so much), prideful or whatever detrimental thing, but they need to be openly complimenting their woman and showing her affection REGULARLY, not on the “special occasion” like Valentine’s Day (and you know how I feel about that! lol). It took years, but my boyfriend is FINally getting better about saying the things I need to hear—being more vocal. I want to HEAR and experience that he thinks I’m beautiful, smart, sexy, whatever! I need to HEAR that he loves me, misses me, appreciates me, and be shown these things in ways on a regular basis.

    We want our kids to SHOW their love and appreciation, and they won’t always do it in the ways we’d like or expect, and as parents we can voice this in the right way if we feel we need to, but ultimately, it’s the husband/wife relationship that matters most and they learn from us first. If you can consistently remind your kids to say what they mean/think/feel when they’re not being clear with you OR each other OR with anyone, they will hopefully, eventually “get” it and it will become more natural to them—a part of them.

    Liked by 1 person

    • He knows I said: “You suck!” In a loving way :).
      I keep telling them what a woman wants and need to hear and it’s not what their dad used to say to me 🙂
      I really hope they can erase all the crap they heard for so many years and understand what loving a person is. I’m working really hard on that because I personally know how important it is.
      I want that they (and specially me) get the chance to meet a real man who adores me and loves every bit of me and who treats me the way I deserve to be treated so they can see HOW it’s supposed to be 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. First off… you quoted me! I have officially arrived. 😀
    Secondly, you totally quoted me. Haha…
    And lastly… ok, so I already said you quoted me twice, so I’ll move to a new comment. Guys don’t express their emotions because unfortunately they are either going to be mocked for doing it or they are going to be told they did it wrong because women expect us to be mind readers about what they need. I think your response was spot on because it was clearly communicating what you wanted to hear and letting him know. Not that it will change a lot, but that is an important facet of communication (clear and concise).
    And you totes quoted me…

    Liked by 1 person

    • And there is a big chance that I will quote you with this one too…
      I could choke a woman who laughs at a man’s emotions (unless that woman is me and the man is some asshole you broke my heart… in that case, NO MERCY) 😀

      Liked by 1 person

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