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Sunday. A couple of years ago after I left my ex but I was still leaving in his house, I was chatting with a friend. The topic of the conversation was “how f#$king difficult it is to find a good man/woman”. I know it’s already hard for a woman over 35 to find a man so you have to imagine how harder it is when you are older and you have young kids.
If you add to that the really nice and encouraging words that some assholes exes say to you, like for example: “Who will want you with 5 kids?” “You better get a man who has a c#$k this big (while showing his hands one foot apart) because after so many kids it’s like a spoon in a plate of soup” or “Did you see how you look? You are all saggy”, the panorama doesn’t look very promising.
So I knew from the beginning (before leaving my ex), that my chances of finding a good man were pretty small. Anyway, when you are in a bad relationship and you get to choose between being alone or tolerating the other person’s crap, being alone sounds much better. (Which sometimes it is, but when I hear: “First, you have to be good with yourself and then find someone else”, I cringe. That only works when YOU CHOOSE to be alone. When you are alone because you don’t have other choice, IT SUCKS. It really sucks. The chances that you find that inner happiness when YOU KNOW that the only way you can be happy it is if you can share your love with someone, you realize that the so called inner happiness, doesn’t exist.
So, unless you choose to be alone and that’s WHAT YOU WANT, it won’t work.
See? It’s NOT WORKING for me. If I know that I’ll be happy only when I find my soulmate, there is NO WAY I can be happy by myself.
And feel free to disagree but remember that I know best what’s best for me.

Back to the conversation with my friend. I said to him: “I know I’m kind of f#$ked up with the kids and all, but you?? How the hell is it possible that a handsome guy in the early 30’s can’t find a good woman?”
“I don’t know”
“Do you think I will ever find anyone? Do you realize that my chances are freaking small and they get smaller every day?”
“Maybe you should go out more… And flash some skin”
“Hahahahahaha, I wish it were that easy”
“Me too”
“I don’t want to die single”
“You won’t.”
“But I’m really discourage”
“Let’s make a deal. If by the time I turn 35 we didn’t find anyone, I’ll marry you”
“That sounds wonderful! But, do you realize that I’m older than you and I have five kids? Or you are saying this because you have faith that we (YOU!!) will find someone before then?”
“Hey, you are not answering!!”

So we made that deal and we kept joking about it for the past two years.
Some times two years seem really long and some times they seem to pass with the blink of an eye.
I remember the day the deal was made. Two years seemed an eternity and I thought we had plenty of time to find someone.

The due date is tomorrow. I can’t believe two years passed by.
I will message my friend today and ask him if he believes in miracles. Because that’s what we need.


~ by DotedOn on April 10, 2016.

21 Responses to “593”

  1. Reblogged this on SURVIVORS BLOG HERE.


  2. Exactly! A miracle is what we need.
    But don’t you worry, honey. It’s about to change. Just sit tight.
    I’d love to hear about the message and your friend.
    Love you

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh wow, that’s kind of big news. Do you think you’ll end up marrying him?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. As always Paola a very thoughtful Post and as for ex’s who use those phrases they should be ashamed of themselves. I agree loneliness isn’t a life choice it’s all to easy for people to use the inner self lines however I know they mean well šŸ™‚ ………….. and best wishes.

    (On the subject of boobs, why is it that ladies worry about them so much? Since the age of 16 I’ve worked in male only environments (engineering) and I’ll tell you here and now men like boobs full stop! Yes they’ll drool over ‘so and so’ with her perfect set but the fair sex should understand men love boobs and size shape doesn’t actually matter because we’re genetically programmed to love the female breast, ladies stop worrying!!!)

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Ok… so finding a good person can be very difficult…however, being with a bad person expecting them to become a good person is much more difficult. And what’s the worst that can happen, your friend marry’s you. šŸ˜€ Ok, that may be really bad cause i don’t know him.. but hey, you think he’s good looking, so that’s a plus.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. exes who say those sorta things should be shot! how dare anyone put you down like that! you are one in a million and you will find someone when you are least expecting it. XX

    Liked by 1 person

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