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Monday. Chapter 2.
Yesterday I spent over an hour “cleaning” my computer. I got rid of who knows how many files and pictures. I tidied up my desktop and even changed the background image. New beginnings.

I have never-ending lists of things I need to do and I promised myself I was going to do as much as I could and at least tick one item every day. I’m not sure how I’ll do that because today I woke up with no will.
I could choose to do something that it takes only a couple of minutes and get it done.
That will get the wheel turning. Maybe once I’m there I’ll feel better and do all the rest.

But I truly doubt it. That image comes to my mind and I’ll feel like I had entered a rat race and once I’m there it’ll be almost impossible to leave. I need a better example.

How the hell is one supposed to find the perfect balance? If you are like me, you know that’s not an easy task. When I HAVE TO do something it’s like starting off on the wrong foot. I need to WANT to do something or, very likely, it’s not going to happen.
The resistance I put against something I have to do is incredible. Either I convince myself it’s something I want to do or I just don’t do it.

Many years ago I read a book. I’m pretty sure it was “Chicken Soup For the Soul” but the Spanish translation was “Chocolate Caliente Para el Alma” (hot cocoa for the soul). Apparently, a cup of hot cocoa makes Spanish speaking people feel much better than chicken soup. I couldn’t tell, I’m vegetarian and I have issues with milk, so both of them are not good for me.
Anyway, there was a story there and I think it was the only story that got stuck with me. Do only what you want to do because that’s the only way you’ll be happy. And I have to agree.
I’ve been following that rule for almost 25 years. Many people could think I’m a spoiled brat. I don’t care. I’m the one who has to live with me. I know better than anyone else what’s good for me. I don’t need to please anyone to feel good and I can’t force myself to do something when I don’t want to do it.
I do what I want.

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~ by DotedOn on April 18, 2016.