Wednesday. A few days ago I was having a conversation with my friend Sonia. We were talking about how different we all are. Some of us, when feeling down, do anything to seek comfort and warmth. We call friends, visit family or ask for hugs. The idea of being alone in such sad moments, it’s terrifying.
Others, instead of looking for company, choose to be left alone. I’m not one of those persons so I struggle a lot understanding how that could be possible. I ask myself: Do they really want to be left alone? Or they are testing the people around to see who cares enough to reach out?
I double check every time. “Are you sure?”
Still, after getting an affirmative answer, I keep wondering.

I said to Sonia: “I don’t get it. Why would someone choose to be left alone when it’s clear that they need you?”
I loved her reply. I’d love to print it out and give it to everyone I know. This is what she said:

“How can you have a warm blanket, and want to freeze in the cold instead? How can you see the sun ahead, and want to remain in the dark? How comfortable can the dark be that we get so used to it and run away from β€Žthe sun.”

I’m not sure how it’s the dark for other people. For me it’s a horrible place. It’s cold, it has thorns, there is almost not air in there.
When I’m in the dark I can’t breath. If I move, it hurts. If I stay quite, I freeze. Once I’m there there is only pain. Nothing that I do seems to work.
I don’t want to go there anymore. I fight it with every muscle.

When someone I care chooses to go there, I hurt. I wish I could throw them a blanket.


~ by DotedOn on April 20, 2016.

31 Responses to “603”

  1. Reblogged this on SURVIVORS BLOG HERE.


  2. I tend to agree with you and this line of thinking also makes me wonder why people choose to get divorced. They must really despise their spouse to get to the point where they’d rather be alone!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh Marissa!
      You must be really happily married (and I’m super happy for you!!).
      You have no idea how bad it is to be in a bad relationship. Being alone sounds like paradise. I hope you never have to experience that. πŸ™‚
      (As much as I hate to be alone, with bad company is much worse!) πŸ™‚


  3. I think being alone is better then being unhappy. I am not married but when I am feeling down I like to be alone rather then bring other people down with my anxiety and depression. I do have a good friend that doesn’t understand this and she will drag me out when I need her. Thanks for the post πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Like many, I presume, I want to be left alone with the curtains closed isolating when I feel low, however, if a friend comes over and barges in on my solitude I find myself in better spirits. As much as I know this, I still don’t reach out…they have to reach out to me.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh Bradley, I’m sorry about that.
      I’m glad you have friends who reach out to you πŸ™‚
      I’m never afraid to ask for help but sometimes I really hate it πŸ™‚


  5. A blanket would be nice on certain days. I could build a fort too!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I’m definitely the type to withdraw. I just don’t want to be a burden and I really am a very private person (blog aside), but I only share what I want, when I want on my blog.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. When something happens, I do need to be alone for a little while. I can promise you that at least for some people it’s definitely not a test. I need some time to cry and to process but, don’t worry. I’ll be back and ready to talk soon.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I think that being alone for a little while is a good thing. But when that little while becomes a long time, not everyone has the patience to stick around, because, how many times you can try without succeeding and not get tired of it? πŸ™‚


  8. i liked her reply. i need that blanket. sometimes the dark surrounds me then its all pain and depression and gloom and sadness. i hate it. XXX

    Liked by 1 person

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