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Thursday. This happened a long ago and I had completely forgotten about it until a few days ago when I was talking with a friend about missing objects in less expected places.

Some years ago I had a boyfriend and we were being intimate. It was all nice and fun until the part when he said:
“Oops, I lost the condom”
“How did you lose it?”
“I don’t know. It’s not here anymore”
“But you had it on, right?”
“I sure did”
“Oh crap… Could you please check very gently if you can find it?”
So he searched and couldn’t find it.
I said: “Let me stand up, maybe it’ll come out”. So I stood up, jumped a bit but nothing happened.
“I think you’ll have to go to the doctor soon and get it removed before anything else happens “.
I thought for a few seconds and many images came to my mind:

“No, there is no way in hell I’m going to the doctor”
“So, what do you want to do?”
“Hmmm. I’m going to smell white pepper. That always makes me sneeze. If I sneeze, I’m sure the thing will come out”
He looked at me like saying: “Ok, MacGyver”
So I went to the kitchen, took the pepper jar and gave a deep breath. Probably too deep because I felt awful but after a few seconds I felt a sneeze coming, so I sneezed and I could feel something going down.
I looked at my boyfriend with a smile.
“Did it work?”
“You bet!”

So you know for next time. If a condom gets lost in “the tunnel”, use white pepper to remove it.

~ by DotedOn on April 28, 2016.