616

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Tuesday. How difficult it’s to write when you lack inspiration or when you feel your heart oppressed. In the first case, you are dry and the words seem to evade you. In the second case is like trying to make a ball go through a hose. You know you have to make the ball pass but hell, it’s difficult. The hose could break or the ball could get stuck.
Maybe that’s why I still don’t dare to use the pressure cooker. And it’s exactly 1.5 years that I got it. I’m afraid it will blow up. Just as I’m afraid I will blow up. I feel like I’m filling the darn tank too much and the stupid escape valve is blocked.
That’s why I need to write. It’s my therapy and one of the only ways I can purge.

Why is it so easy to tell someone else to relax? Why it’s so hard to empathize with others when they are under pressure? And why, why sometimes when we feel a bit of extra pressure we get blind to everything around and we tend to suffocate and mostly, we make really bad decisions?
Or temporary fixes.
As we say in my country: “Desvestimos un santo para vestir a otro” We get one saint naked in order to dress another one. “We rob Peter to pay Paul”.
Paul is happy now, but what about Peter? Things never seem to end.
Give me a f#$king break!!

I have a friend who’s going through a lot of crap these days. I’m super worried about him and at the same time, I’m amazed how every piece of the puzzle seems to be falling on the perfect spot for him. I can see it from the outside and I can only think: “You are so lucky!” But when I told him that, he looked at me in a way like saying: “Are you f#$king kidding me? I’m dying here!”.
I wish I could tell him to have some faith. I wish I could tell him to blow slowly in the hose because he can make the ball pass through. He has the strength. He just need to believe that the ball will pass, because it will.

Now, I need to tell that to myself. I need to remember that I won’t drown in a glass of water. I need to see that either I’m too big or that the glass is too small. Anything.
I just have to remember what my mom always tells me: “Nadie muere en la víspera”. Death does not come on the eve.

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~ by DotedOn on May 3, 2016.

7 Responses to “616”

  1. Reblogged this on SURVIVORS BLOG HERE.

    Like

  2. The grass is always greener on the other side. And yes, writing is terrific therapy!

    Like

  3. I never knew how much I love to write until I started my blog. It does help to clear the mind and keep me balanced.

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  4. Just breath slowly out… into the hose… the ball will pass. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  5. you will make it! writing is my therapy too. XXX

    Liked by 1 person

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