Tuesday. After some consideration, I agreed to go with my ex and the kids on vacation. We are going to Tuscany, Italy. We rented a house with 4 bedrooms so there shouldn’t be any problem of invasion.
I called my mom to tell her and she said: “I think he wants you back”. I said: “He can want whatever he wants, I don’t want him”.
I really, really, really, don’t want him. I rather be alone, feel lonely and talk to the walls than being again in a relationship with him. He didn’t make me happy. He didn’t want the best for me and above all, he f#$king didn’t know who I was. He had this image of me that was SO FAR from reality that every time I think about it, I want to cry.
What the f#$k was I thinking!?!

Yesterday one of my kids had test at school and he was required to go there only for half an hour. His test was at 11.45am so I said to my ex: “Bring him here when you bring the other kids to school”

At 7.40am my son rang the bell and my ex shouted from the car: “I don’t have brakes”.
“That sucks”
“I need to go to work, do you think I can get there?”
“Are you insane?”
“It’s not that far. I go first to kindergarten to bring him (pointing at my little one) and then I go to work”
“No, you are not bringing him. It’s downhill. I’ll go with the bike and you should stay here and call the motor club and let them come and check or fix the car”.
I don’t love the man anymore but I care about him. He’s the father of my kids and I don’t want anything bad to happen to him, even if I could choke him with my bare hands at least three times a week.

So he called the motor club in Holland and they called the motor club in Germany and about two hours later, a guy came with a towing truck and took the car and my ex to a garage in this town.
Half an hour later my ex came asking if he could borrow a bike to go to the train station because he really needed to get to work. He said, I’ll message you when I get there.
He never messaged so I sent a message asking if everything was fine. He said he was still cycling because he decided to go to his house and get the other car to save time. His house is 35 minutes away with the car.

Later in the evening when he came to pick the kids he said: “Every muscle hurts”.
“That’s because the last time you rode a bike was 5 years ago and today you decided to do Le Tour de France. Do you realize you are always like that? You try to go from nothing to all but there are some things that need a bit of knowledge or practice”.

His car will probably be fixed tomorrow because they had to order a part that couldn’t be fixed. I asked him if I could borrow the small car for a few days and he said: “Of course, if you can drive that car, you can drive anything. Nobody wants to drive it. It’s heavy.”
I will translate that for you: I really don’t want to lend you my car because I don’t trust you so I’m telling you this because I know you will be terrified and won’t ask for it.
Freaking man can mess with my head. Of course I’m terrified. I hate driving anything, I feel unsafe in a war tank…
Ugh. Let’s see if I get enough courage tomorrow.


~ by DotedOn on June 7, 2016.

16 Responses to “651”

  1. You are brave! On vacation with the ex gotta be terrifying!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow, this was a packed post! lol I hope the trip goes well. I went on vacation with my ex, his wife, her kids and my son. We hit one bump, I fixed it, and she and I have been the best of friends ever since šŸ˜€

    I think your mother is right ’cause I’ve always gotten the feeling he wants you back, too. And I’m going to say he’s a man, and from my experience, many men don’t work up to things slowly. They jump in thinking their bodies can handle anything. They find out quickly enough they were wrong, but it still doesn’t seem to sink in. My boyfriend is the same way :-\

    Also, what he said about that car may be factual, but underlying it was your interpretation. It seems like both and I’m sure he knows how much driving terrifies you :-\

    Liked by 1 person

    • I drove that car yesterday! It’s awful! It’s on my driveway now, I could use it if I wanted to but I’m not sure I dare! šŸ™‚
      And you are right when you say things don’t sink in with some men. I spent 14 years asking for something and he realized how much I needed it after I left him… I really don’t care for that! šŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Ooof, vacation with the ex. That’s rough. Good luck.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Ugh, good luck on your vacation!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. šŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Enjoy Tuscany, my friend

    Liked by 1 person

  7. a lot going on Paola. Hope your son did good on the test. And you have a nice vacation. xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Ok… so let me get this straight… you don’t want anything bad to happen to him.. UNLESS it’s you that can do the bad thing? Yep… I get that on so many levels.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Exactly!! šŸ™‚
      It’s like when you are playing a game filling a bucket. You spend all your chips and the bucket isn’t full… Then someone else comes, uses two chips and gets the price… NO WAY! šŸ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

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