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Saturday. According to my ex I’m still full of crap and I have to let go of some things so I can move on.
I realized that every time I write about something, I put it on paper (computer) and then it’s out of my system and I can (kind of) move on.
So here it goes something I promised to write over two years ago. Something that altered the way things were. And that is, how I met his mother.

It was December 1998 and we were together since March. I was following Dutch lessons and on one of the Saturdays, we had planned the graduation/farewell party. His mother was in Holland visiting her sister and she wanted to meet me. I said to my ex: “Ask her to come on Sunday because I can’t miss my graduation party”.
“OK”.
So he called and talk to her for hours and told her exactly what I had said. Then they hung up and I asked: “At what time is she coming?”
“She’s coming on Saturday because someone is driving her till somewhere and then she’ll take the train to get here”
“Did you explain that I wasn’t going to be at home?”
“Yes, I did, but she said that she didn’t want to pay the full train ticket so she rather came one day earlier and use the lift”.
“Is it going to be a problem?”
“I hope not, I already told her”.

So I went to the party and we went dancing and drinking. At the time, my alcohol tolerance was VERY low so I was quite tipsy after a beer and a glass of Glühwein (beverage usually made with red wine and spices. It is served hot or warm and may be alcoholic or non-alcoholic). Mine was alcoholic, of course.
I got home very late, about 3am, all happy and smiling. I’m sure she heard me get in because our flat was 36 square meters/118 square ft and her bed was in the living room where the entrance was. I don’t think I woke her, I think she stayed awake to see when I got home.
The first thing I did was to take a shower because at the time smoking wasn’t prohibited everywhere. Then I went to bed and I had sex with my guy.
Next morning (about 4 hours after I got home), she came into our room without knocking the door. I was f#$king shocked and looked at him like asking: “WTF is she doing?”
Then I can’t remember if we had to get up immediately or not but for some reason the mother and I started fighting.
I don’t remember what I said exactly but according to my ex I replied in a not so nice way… To quote him: “Like you do… You know, when someone says to you something that you don’t like”.

I remember she saying: “It’s not that I come to visit every day. You could have stayed here because you knew I was coming”.
“Eh??” I looked at him and asked: “Is she f#$king kidding me? She knew I wasn’t going to be here and she wanted to come anyway!”
But he didn’t say a thing, he just stood there and looked how we continued fighting…
You have to know that if you make me mad (which doesn’t happen so easily unless you are one of my kids or my ex), I tend to raise my voice a few decibels… And if you keep attacking me and saying things that are not fair, I will probably defend myself and fight back. And I won’t be soft, I will aim to destroy. So of course, I made her cry and told her things like:
-How the f#$k do you dare to shout at me in my house?
-How you dare to enter in my room without knocking?
-How you dare coming to my house uninvited?
And then I looked at him and said: “All this because she wanted to save a couple of bucks??? Unbelievable!! And please, say something!!”
I was really expecting him to take my side. He didn’t do it. He just stayed there and didn’t say a thing.

After the mother left, we had a HUGE fight and after that fight, every time we had a fight, everything went back to that day.

Yesterday, I was on the phone with him and all this came back (again!). He said that he told the story to a lot of people because he needed to get it off his chest. So I asked: “What did they say? Who was right?”
“I can’t tell because I never told them the whole story. I always omitted the part where we had sex”
“I see… Did you tell the part where she came to our bedroom without knocking?”
“…….. I had forgotten about that”
“Then go and tell the story again so you can tell me exactly what people think”
“No. You tell me honestly. What would you think if someone has sex while you are in the other room?”
“I would think: ‘Nice! they are young, let them have fun'”
“Right, that’s very convenient”
“WTF do you want me to say?? She didn’t knock on our door so she wasn’t so horrified, otherwise she would have been scared of catching us doing something… Or maybe that’s what she wanted!”
“You are still full of crap… Let go. It’s time. That happened long ago”.
“Ok, I’ll try… But there is something that you have to know: You should have taken MY SIDE!”.

Now you know the story. Feel free to tell me your opinion.

~ by DotedOn on July 9, 2016.