696

 

696

Friday. I had a really weird dream. I was sitting at the head of a long rectangular table. I had Roberto on my left and my ex was standing a few steps away. I was arguing with my ex about something from the past and to anything he said, I had something better to say. Meanwhile, I had Roberto covering his mouth and saying softly, so I could be the only one hearing him: “Tell him”. I wasn’t planning on telling him anything. Then my ex takes a small paper with a couple of names and numbers from his pocket and says: “This person will tell who is right, you or me”.
And I read on the paper: “Jill??”
“No, not Jill, the other name”
“Cindy’s?”
“Yes!!”
“Who’s Cindy’s?”
“Your friend”
“Nooo, my friend’s name is Sindis” and then my daughter opened the door of my bedroom and woke me up.
I took a few seconds to understand that I was dreaming. I tried to remember more of the dream but I couldn’t. I hate when that happens.
Anyway, I tried to interpret why Roberto and my ex were in the same dream.

Do you know when you just start dating someone that this person asks you about your exes and people in your life? A really good thing to do would be saying: “You are my first” and that will avoid all kind of problems in the future but sadly, that’s mostly never the case. Maybe that person is the first one but most likely, there was at least one person before. For example when you were in first grade and you had a crush on someone and that thought makes your eye twinkle or your smile wider than usual.

In my case, Roberto used to be the one who made my eyes twinkle and my smile too big for my face and the more I tried to cover “the face”, the worse it got.
I met Roberto in ’93 while I was on holidays with my parents and we had a very short (6 days) but incredibly deep thing. Then I had to leave and life got in the way and nothing happened but we both stayed with the feeling of: “what if…”.
My ex knew that I had always wondered what could have happened. He never felt jealous of other men but for some reason, he felt kind of threatened by Roberto. What he never knew was that EVERY time that we had an argument, I went to the computer and tried to find Roberto, who I knew lived somewhere in Germany because in ’94 while traveling with my sister, we went to meet him and stayed at his place.
I remembered the name of the town and I believe I checked all the telephone directories of the area but I could never find him.
My ex also ignores that after I left him, I had a touch of luck and after 10 years searching Roberto, I found him. And not only that, the first chance I had, I went to meet him in May 2014.
I’m sure that if I ever tell my ex what I did, he’ll be pissed off and probably also devastated.
I have to confess that the thought crossed my mind MANY times, specially when he is mean to me and reminds me of the time when he said: “Who will want you with 5 kids?? You better get a man with a dick this big because after 5 kids he won’t feel a thing”. But even when my blood boils remembering that and I’m really temped, I never said: “Would you like to call Roberto and ask him how bad the situation is?”.
But that would be too low. No matter how mad I am, that’d be crossing the line.

I wish I could finish that dream. I would have loved to see my ex’s face when he heard about that. Of course, I’m imagining that Roberto would have said that he couldn’t guess I had kids. Yeah, right! Dream on!

And IT’S FRIDAY, I’M IN LOVE! And I think this song goes perfectly with today’s post. I just read the lyrics and I got a bit sad.
That feeling that ‘s what I fear the most. I don’t want to look in the mirror in a few years and feel that my life passed in a blink of an eye and “nothing happened” and I could die tomorrow and… What about my dreams and unfinished business?
Enjoy Aerosmith and remember, “Dream on, dream until your dreams come true”.

DREAM ON
(written by Steven Tyler)

Every time when I look in the mirror
All these lines on my face getting clearer
The past is gone
It went by, like dusk to dawn
Isn’t that the way
Everybody’s got the dues in life to pay

I know nobody knows
Where it comes and where it goes
I know it’s everybody sin
You got to lose to know how to win

Half my life
Is books, written pages
Live and learn from fools and
From sages
You know it’s true, oh
All these feelings come back to you

Sing with me, sing for the years
Sing for the laughter, sing for the tears
Sing with me, just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away

Yeah, sing with me, sing for the year
Sing for the laughter, sing for the tear
Sing with me, just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away

Dream on
Dream on
Dream on
Dream until your dreams come true
Dream on
Dream on
Dream on
Dream until your dreams come true
Dream on
Dream on
Dream on
Dream on
Dream on
Dream on
Dream on

Sing with me, sing for the year
Sing for the laughter, sing for the tear
Sing with me, just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away
Sing with me, sing for the year
Sing for the laughter, sing for the tear
Sing with me, just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away

source:

metrolyrics.com

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~ by DotedOn on July 22, 2016.

12 Responses to “696”

  1. Great dream. I like that song. Carol anne

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh, kind of sad. Can’t believe your ex said such lousy things to you. Oh well, no one is ideal. It’s easy to idealize people that you never get into a relationship with but sometimes when you find out how they really are you see they weren’t really the one.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I agree with Marissa about the idealizing. It’s SO true, and that’s not just in the romantic sense. There are cruel things people can say that stick with you, and it’s terrible, and sometimes we can’t put them aside until something or someone comes along to change whatever those cruel remarks caused 😦 Life is tough. We have to hold on to what’s good.

      And I never really paid close attention to the lyrics of that song since the first time I heard it maybe 40 years ago! They’re deeper than I thought 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      • Yes, the song is really deep! That was the first time I read the lyrics.
        I’m hoping someone comes along to change those cruel remarks. I can’t believe someone can even say those things to the person who they are supposed to love. 🙂

        Like

    • That’s true 🙂
      (Anyway, I never thought he was the one)

      Liked by 1 person

  3. What horrible things your ex had to say. I’m shocked at how cruel that one person can be to another. Horrible.

    Dream on…thank you for taking me back to some of my good old days

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I hate waking up and only grasping at what was in a dream.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I love that feeling, of waking up trying to hold on to your dream. It’s sort of a great way to start the morning.

    Liked by 1 person

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