698

698

Sunday. I feel really ashamed for what has happened to me yesterday. I know it’s not my fault but I still can’t understand why I can’t make myself clear with some things.

A couple of days ago my ex came to pick my kids, he found the front door open so he decided to come in and then go upstairs. When I saw him upstairs I told him: “How dare you come upstairs unannounced? I don’t like you to do that. You have to check if you can go, you can’t just go”.

The coming week, my kids are supposed to be with their father but since he has to work, he invited his aunt to stay at his place so she could take care of the kids while he’s not home. He was very stressed cleaning and getting everything ready so he asked my kids who wanted to help him clean. Only my second son agreed so he asked me if he could pick him up yesterday. He also said: “Can I ask you a huge favor?” I asked what he wanted and he asked if I could pack clothes for the kids for the week because he had a big mess at home and not time to get the kids clothes ready. I said: “OK”.
Before leaving his house he sent a message saying he was leaving. I replied: “OK”.
When I read that, I left what I was doing so I could prepare my kids clothes. He got here while I was putting the clothes in a bag in my son’s room.
“Hi”. I turned around and I said: “I think I told you NOT TO COME UPSTAIRS without telling me”.
“I said: ‘I’m coming up'”
“And did you hear: OK or anything? I don’t think so because I didn’t even know you were here”
“I said: ‘I’m coming up'”
“OK, but that’s not asking me if you could come up”
“You know what? I’m leaving, you (pointing at my 2nd son), come with me”
I said to my son: “No, you DON’T GO WITH HIM”.
So my ex went outside and started to yell at me so hard that I think people 3 blocks away could hear him “You are crazy, I said I was coming up”
“Don’t yell at me in my house”
“The house you pay with the money I give you”
“Please stop and don’t yell at me in MY HOUSE”.
I was begging him to stop. He humiliated me AGAIN. He did that many times when we were together and I got tired of it. I hated facing my neighbors after such a humiliation.
I think he said “f#$k you” and left.

Ten minutes later he called and asked me to talk with my 2nd son. Then my son said: “He’s waiting for me by the store on the main street”.
“I don’t give a f#$k. You are not going”
“Then you have to call”
I tried to call but since we got a new router/modem (another one) the telephone was not set up so I couldn’t call him. And NO WAY I was using my mobile phone credit to listen to the asshole shouting at me. So I got dressed to go and tell him he was and asshole. I was planning on taking the clothes with me, not because he deserved it but because my kids don’t deserve the asshole father they got who can be a major piece of shit when he’s mad or stressed.
A few minutes passed and he rang the bell. “I want you to give him his phone back so I can communicate with him”
“I’m sorry, I’m using that phone now” (Because he promised to fix mine and he didn’t and then it was out of warranty so I couldn’t get it changed and I’m stuck with a broken phone).
“I don’t care. You, come with me”. He was yelling again.
“Please, this is MY HOUSE and you have to respect that. You can’t yell at me in MY HOUSE and you can’t just get in and go upstairs and move like if you were living here, BECAUSE THIS IS NOT YOUR HOUSE”.
“What’s the matter? Why can’t I?”
“Because I may be naked and I don’t want you to see me. When you come to this house, you ring the bell”
“I’ve seen you naked thousand times, I even saw you getting my kids out of your pussy” he was yelling like a mother f#$ker in front of my kids.
At that point I broke and started crying so I closed the door at him. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t believe what he was saying while my kids were listening.
A few minutes later I opened the door and said to him: “I can understand you are stressed. I know that stressed. I still remember how it was when your family visited. What I can’t understand is why you keep unloading your f#$king crap on me. And just as you know, I was going to meet you and bring the clothes with me”.
In that moment he felt really bad, even his eyes filled with tears. He tried to hug me and I said: “Don’t you f#$king dare to touch me. I tried to call but we got another modem 2 hours ago and we couldn’t set up the phone. You can check the last call I made and see that your number was dialed. You are an asshole”.
“I don’t feel like forgiving you”
I was thinking: “Forgiving me?? Are you f#$king kidding me?? I should be the one forgiving you!! You piece of shit!” But I said: “Never mind, you don’t have to forgive me, we are not friends. We can keep it that way”.
“But I want to make peace with you”
“Why? You never wanted to be my friend, you never were my friend. Why now? I’m not interested. If you were my friend, you would have respected me and NEVER ever shouted at me. But that’s the only things you know how to do”
“If you knew how much I love you!”
“You have a pretty good way to conceal it!”

I think he felt terribly guilty after that so he stayed here for 2 hours setting the modem so we could use the phone.
I can’t believe how someone could say such horrible things. And I can’t believe how I’m not able to stop that shit yet.

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~ by DotedOn on July 24, 2016.

20 Responses to “698”

  1. What an awful guy! The only way to stop it is to limit your communication with him to almost nothing.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

    Liked by 1 person

  3. ๐Ÿ™‚ Deep breathes lol.

    My boss can be an obnoxious guy, I just ignore him and that seems to work

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Btw, I’m lying on a hotel bed watching the sea from the window, nice sunny evening in Eastbourne only trouble someone in bed with me lol would be fun. Oh well!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I’m not making excuses for your ex, but I’m thinking MAYbe, from his point, was if he didn’t hear someone say “don’t come up,” he saw it as OK. And since there IS the chance he wishes you were back together, he probably has a harder time accepting the boundaries. Your whole relationship is a history of disappointment and misunderstanding, I’d say on both sides (I’m not saying anyone’s right or wrong), and that’s always near the surface no matter what happens so it’s immediate escalation to nastiness from you and yelling from him. It’s not good for anyone, certainly not the kids ๐Ÿ˜ฆ I wish somehow you could find a way to properly communicate with each other, and certainly the vocabulary ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

    Liked by 1 person

    • I feel he doesn’t respect me. He never cared about my feelings so I don’t understand why he should do it now ๐Ÿ™‚
      I still hope, though. My kids need a good male figure and they have to understand that’s NOT THE WAY to treat a woman (or anyone!).

      Liked by 1 person

      • I know it’s really hard because there’s SO much negative emotion tied up in all this, but is there SOME way the two of you can try to sit down–just the two of you–and have a serious conversation about all this. It has to have rules though—LITERAL rules you both agree to—-no accusations, no “You did this…” “You did that…” type stuff. Try to arrange it with him because if you don’t both try to do this for the sake of your kids and all your future, it will never change ๐Ÿ˜ฆ Somehow you’ve both got to agree to not argue in front of the kids, and when you tell him he’s never respected you (and other things) it can’t be YELLED at him in the heat of arguments and on the fly.

        The most effective words are spoken with seriousness and calm. That’s always been my experience, anyway. Well—depending on the situation. I will always feel guilty when I screamed “Sit!” when my son was being toilet trained and I didn’t realize the problem was because he was afraid of the toilet. He was sick, had diarrhea, crapped all over the floor (my mother was watching him) and I came home from work with her all upset over it so the perfect storm led me to yelling that at him because when he had to go again (as soon as I walked in), I didn’t want it all over the floor again. After trying to reason with him, I finally screamed “Sit!” It scared him, he immediately partially “sat” on the edge (the seat was up) and since he had diarrhea he couldn’t hold it. Once he saw he didn’t go into the toilet with it, the toilet training issue was over and we never turned back. Honestly, I think if you’re having trouble in that way, it could be the same fear—the poor little ones don’t realize they and their poop become separated. They’ve always done it in their diapers so not all kids can grasp that it’s not a part of them. My son feared he’d go down the toilet with it. I never knew it, couldn’t tell he was afraid ’cause he never voiced it and I didn’t read fear on his face, and didn’t realize till afterward that when he’d repeatedly flush the toilet, he was trying to determine if he was going down with the water ๐Ÿ˜ฆ Poor baby.

        Anyway, serious, mature conversation is desperately needed. I hope you can both find a way to have it…

        Liked by 1 person

      • We tried to talk and we agreed not yelling in front of the kids but he just doesn’t care, Donna.
        When he’s mad he just aims to kill without even thinking about the consequences. I keep shaking my head and remembering what my mother always told us: “You can’t cut a person’s arm, then reattached it and expect it to be the same”. He hurt me so many times that I can’t trust him anymore.
        I’m terribly sorry he’s like the only person I know here and that sometimes I need to ask him things. And believe me, that’s always the last option.

        Liked by 1 person

      • With all my “potty training” stuff (if you’re having this trouble, try it when they have diarrhea so they CAN’T hold it in on the toilet), I wanted to mention that, if you haven’t actually sat down (like a family meeting or something) with the kids and spoken directly with them to explain that there are reasons you and Daddy aren’t together and one of them is his lack of respect, maybe you should consider it? The little ones won’t get it the same way, but seeing as you can’t rely on a good male role model coming around, they need to understand how NOT to behave by explaining why it’s not the way to behave and that it can cause things like divorce and the terrible relationship you and he have ๐Ÿ˜ฆ Anyway, just a suggestion. You may have already done this OR maybe you need to do it again?

        Liked by 1 person

      • I explained that to them and you know what happened next? Their father talked to them and made me look like the bad guy for leaving. Only my two oldest sons understand things because they remember how it used to be.
        I’ll keep trying, I don’t want my kids turning out like their father ๐Ÿ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      • ๐Ÿ˜ฆ ๐Ÿ˜ฆ ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yes…

        Like

  6. Ese tipo es un forro. Y lo demuestra a cada paso. Reducciรณn de contacto a lo mรญnimo indispensable URGENTE! Besos

    Liked by 1 person

  7. No words… I think you said them all.

    Like

  8. Trust me, Todd. I kept some of the words I wanted to say because I didn’t want to be banned from WP ๐Ÿ˜€

    Like

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