713

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Monday. Again. School started last Thursday. I can’t believe how fast six weeks can pass. I thought there was no way for this summer to be as bad as last year but for sure it’s not better. It’s dark, rainy and cold. Still a bit over a month left but I kind of lost hope.

Next week is my daughter’s birthday. I asked her what would she like to have. She answered: “A birthday cake”. I felt really bad.
Back in March when it was my oldest son’s birthday, I was preparing the cake and I had to leave for a bit and when I got back, half the cake was gone. I got so mad that I said to my four youngest kids that their birthdays were going to be cakeless. I thought they were not going to care but I was wrong. They are very sad and sorry about it.
I can’t not keep my word and I really hope this is not going to be something that they remember until they die.

I have to teach them a lesson but I wish I had said something else. They care about their cakes. Actually, they are waiting the entire year to get the cake they want.

I want to cry. I feel like an awful mother. I truly thought the whole cake thing was a mild punishment. It’s not. All the kids are mad at my youngest son because he was the one who ate the cake (the others watched or helped but no one did anything to prevent it).

I don’t like this feeling at all. What if something happens and I’m not able to prepare them a cake next year? I’ll never forgive myself.

What’s worse, not keeping a promise or regretting keeping it?

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~ by DotedOn on August 8, 2016.

26 Responses to “713”

  1. Oh gosh, with kids it’s a slippery slope. I think they do lots of things and we take privileges away from them and then regret doing so so we go back on our words and then they never learn.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I agree with Marissa. If they don’t see you mean what you say, it nullifies your role as a parent with discipline, and in my experience, consistent discipline was a very big reason my son grew up so well (yes, he did :D).

    And the thing is, it’s something they DO need to remember for the rest of their lives. You’re not being mean, you’re being a mother and they need to learn how to respect you, your time and many other things. It will also be an example of good parenting, which they won’t know for many years.

    Until next year, when they can finally have cake again, when one of their birthdays rolls around, remind them why this year is a “no birthday cake” year and simply think of some other dessert that has nothing to do with cake. Next year, when you bake a cake again, even if the youngest one didn’t learn and does his dirty deed again, you can bet the others won’t let him get away with it. In my opinion, it’s a very valuable lesson. Maybe bake cookies or something instead 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Can I say you are a lovely lady with great advice 🙂 , trouble is lol Paola used my Chocolate Cake recipe which I feel kinda bad about but baking some cookies instead seems a kind humane yet consistent idea. Trouble with me is I have no children and fear I’d be as ‘soft as!’ However my brother and I were brought up by a strict lovely mother and looking back I do appreciate no did mean NO!

      Liked by 1 person

      • What a sweetheart, you are 🙂 I’m just going by experience AND, as you may have noticed, my strong opinions lol In my opinion, “softness” is required when someone makes a mistake. “Hardness” is required when someone disobeys/disrespects, etc. There’s a big difference between the two; one is accidental/unintentional while the other is deliberate/defiant.

        And I love your “strict competition” story! 😀 😀 😀

        Liked by 2 people

      • I’ll bake that cake again soon! But it won’t be for a birthday. I always have some excuse to celebrate something :). Don’t feel bad about it! That chocolate cake is amazing! 🙂
        And I’m a softie too!

        Liked by 1 person

    • I want to keep my word and I want them to learn the lesson :). (But I need to feel good about it too!!)
      I won’t be baking cookies, they take forever to make and last 3 seconds :)))
      I’ll see what I can do, she’ll be 7 only once and I’m sure she’ll remember her cakeless birthday 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. 🙂 Stay strong Paola you’re NOT an awful mother, I hadn’t thought of the cookie idea, that seems a great consistent compromise, they learn with no cake yet there’s a small special treat for the Birthday in cookies, a wise woman Donna!

    (This’ll be a long lol comment)

    I’ll tell you a discipline story, not long ago along 6 or so colleagues and me we were retelling stories of how we were disciplined as youngsters. and LOL 😀 you would have been, if you were there, you would have been eavesdropping on a ‘Monty Python’ sketch, we were ALL trying to out do each other with stories of how strict our fathers had been, lol like a badge of honour, I was killing myself laughing inside! But the point was none of us were harmed and we were all genuinely pleased our fathers had been strict simply because we deserved it! And of course as middle aged men we came out with the platitude “If kids today had what we had blah blah blah…” Mind you lol it was my mother who did all the disciplining LOL hard but fair!

    An excellent Post Paola. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you, Andrew!! 🙂
      That’s a funny story. My parents were kind of strict too but they thought they were soft. My mom kept telling us: “if I had answered that way to my father, I’d be collecting my teeth from the floor”. She always said that my grandfather didn’t say a word, he just looked at them and that was enough.
      When I look at my kids, they laugh at my face!! 🙂
      But they saw me mad and I think I was 10 times worse than my grandfather 🙂
      And when my parents said NO, it was NO. Pointless fighting that 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with giving a cake. Talk to them, explain you know how important it is for them to get a cake and even say…dare I say it?? Tell them you may have overreacted. I’d then ask them what they think is a fair punishment. I think there’d be earned respect for all parties involved. It’s certainly not something I’d do on a regular basis though.

    That all being said, I think cookies or other dessert idea is a good one as well.

    Liked by 3 people

    • This isn’t a bad approach either, but I’m not so sure the lesson they need to learn (mostly respect for you and your time which I’ve gotten the impression is a general problem?) will sink in. You know your kids, Paola, so try to think which will get the best results. Don’t appease unless you think they really learned, something, but the cake thing didn’t happen all that long ago, here comes the first birthday and cake situation. Ultimately it’s up to you, of course. I can’t imagine what other kind of punishment they would consider fair though :-\

      Liked by 2 people

      • I’m really curious to know what kind of punishment they come up with 🙂
        They need to learn the lesson, specially my youngest one. Everyone thinks he’s super cute (he is), but he needs to learn that he won’t have it always his way. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

    • I like your idea, Bradley. I’ll ask them about a fitting punishment just to see what they think about it. But I’m not making any cake or cookies either. I’ll try to stay strong. (And if I crave cake, I’ll wait until they go to their dad and eat it myself :D)

      Liked by 1 person

  5. 🙂 Knowing you you’ll bake some awesome cookies, I bet me Donna Bradley Marissa and all the others would love to see them lol before they eat them all 🙂 x

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Stay strong, P! A cute boy grows into a cute man, and if he’s always gotten his way, God help us all! I’m sure there are many other ways you can make your daughter feel loved and special on her Bday.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. I do not envy you your decision. I feel for you. And I am curious to find out what you did (no spoilers).

    Like

  8. Keeping my mouth shut. You’ll find out soon, if you didn’t already 🙂

    Like

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