742

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Tuesday. It’s not a good day. I decided I wasn’t going to let anything affect me but I ended up crying at a guy on the phone while trying to get my health insurance in order. I’m glad I warned him: “I could cry right now”.

I still don’t understand why people think I’m strong. I know I can endure a lot but I break really easily.
Right now I’m a wreck and I’d do anything to take my mind off all the crap that’s going on around. I’m even considering mowing the lawn but it’s completely wet because it’s been raining for a couple of days.

Today is one of those days when I wish I could disappear. Again, I need a hug or a shake. But not a hug like the ones I got last Saturday, those made me super uncomfortable. I’m still trying to shake them off.

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~ by DotedOn on September 6, 2016.

28 Responses to “742”

  1. Health insurance is very frustrating! I can see how it can easily make a person cry! Don’t let it ruin your day.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Dealing with any beaurocracy can be so frustrating. Hang in there, Paola.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Paola, first I need to say that if you’re still, so many days later, trying to shake off those hugs, that’s really not good. You’re placing WAY too much importance on something that really doesn’t matter in a way that should affect you this long. OK, so he’s a friend who used to be exclusively gay, he’s now turned onto the “wonder of women” and basically wants to get laid any way he can, it seems, whether it means a relationship or not. YOU don’t have to accommodate and if you’re friends enough, he shouldn’t be making you feel pressured and you should be able to say you don’t want to “go there.” Let it go. It’s not important in your life, or at least I can’t see why it should be to affect you that way :-\

    And honestly, I don’t think the “easily crying” type stuff is related to how strong you are, so much as it’s very likely hormonal. I know what it can do to me, especially post-menopausal. The imbalances cause so much crapola, I can’t stand it, and I can be “too easily weepy” at times. Maybe you should have blood work done to see where your hormones are actually at?

    Liked by 2 people

    • Paola 🙂 I find myself agreeing with Donna, far from me to criticise him because that’s a personal matter, but YES I think you are paying way to much importance, he overstepped a line, took advantage, but ‘hey ho’ such is life 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

    • Oh Donna, I really can’t believe it affected me so much either. I couldn’t stop thinking if he thought that I called him on purpose when my kids where not home. I felt that he thought I was looking for something… And I wasn’t, at all!
      The thing is, I always thought he had my back and that I could trust him with anything.
      Now I feel I can’t trust him anymore, and that hurts. :/

      Liked by 1 person

      • Oh, Paola 😦

        Well, just because he’s become a more “horny” kind of guy doesn’t mean you can’t necessarily trust him with everything else.You also can’t control how he interprets things. He MAY have been reading “invitation” OR just thinking “opportunity.” I do know there have been many times over the years that guys have interpreted totally congenial friendliness as flirting. It’s so easy for us to assume things. Honestly, I just think you need to make it clear somehow in conversation that that’s not going to happen. It doesn’t have to be directed AT him. You’re smart and clever enough to think how to do that 🙂 Once it’s made clear, he’ll know not to “go there” and things should be back to normal, I would think 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yes, I have to find a way to let him know. But that doesn’t change the way I feel. I don’t think I’ll be calling him again, specially not if my kids are not here 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Paola I have a serious question for one of your sons, on the way home from work I walk along this lane winding it’s way through the housing estate and all of a sudden this boy appears along side me, age 9 10, he doesn’t say a word just walks along side me at the same pace, if I slow he slows, if I speed up he speeds up 😀 very very odd. Lol he knows what he’s doing but why?

    After 3 minutes he turns around and walks back, now I’m not going to start talking with him, God not these days, but I can’t work out why he does? Is he bored? Is he taking the p#ss? Is he being nasty? Why lol? He doesn’t ask for money, he’s not being threatening 😀 IT’S JUST BLOODY ANNOYING!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. You got a hug (last Saturday) and you are shaking it off… ok, that doesn’t count as the hug or shake you were asking for… but, I mean, close, right?

    Liked by 1 person

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