749

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Tuesday. Yesterday I went to pick my youngest son and the teacher called me to tell me: “He keeps saying f#$k you to the kids”. Oh shit. I knew that was going to happen because he kept saying it to me and to everyone else, all the time.
I called him in front of the teacher and said: “Your teacher is telling me that you said f#$k you to the other kids. Is that true?”
He looked at me and smiled. So I added: “I’m not smiling. This is very serious. Did you say f#$k you to the other kids?” He was silent looking at me. I went on: “Do you know what happens when you say that in this place? You are sent to the principal’s office” So I pointed at a door behind me. “Is that what you want?”.
He didn’t say a word so I kept talking: “Your teacher will tell me if you say it again, do you understand that?”. He looked down and kept silent.
I didn’t know what to tell to the teacher. I never know what to tell to the teacher. I can’t say: “He won’t say it again” because who knows if that’ll be true. So I went for a: “I hope he understood that he can’t say that to the other kids”.

When we left I told him I felt very sad about it and he started to cry. Not a fake cry, a humiliation cry. Those that come when someone tells you you did wrong.

A couple of hours later when all my kids were home I told them what had happened and how bad I felt. At that moment my youngest son looked up and said: “F#$k you” again, but this time in German. All my other kids bursted out laughing.
“WTF! That’s not funny! Not in English, not in German… Do you want me to tell your teacher?” I’m not sure how I managed not to laugh.

I say f#$k a lot of times a day. I’m pretty sure my kids learnt it from me. But I also tell them: “You better don’t say that outside our house because that’s not the way to talk”.

I’m glad he said it and that the teacher heard it. Maybe he learnt that at school you have to behave properly. I’d feel very bad if all the other kids already learnt to say f#$k you from him and I have 20 mothers against me.
I can’t deal with some mothers. I never could. I feel that some of them don’t understand that kids have a mind of their own and they blame the parents all the time.
I agree that many times the parents are the reason of many problems but it’s not always that way.
I feel that kids need to learn to defend themselves and solve their own problems without letting the parents get in the middle.

Kids can fight and 10 minutes later they are friends again. But when kids fight and the parents intervene, the fight never ends. Then the parents don’t want the kids playing together again and all that crap that can easily be avoided if the kids sort it out.

I don’t mean to let your kids get hurt by some bully (because I can strangle the bully with my bare hands), but when there is a little argument, just encourage your kid to solve the problem instead of letting him say: “Mummyyyyy!”.

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~ by DotedOn on September 13, 2016.

18 Responses to “749”

  1. Yes, for sure. It’s hard because so many parents curse and it’s not as taboo as it used to be. Parents can yell at their kids for cursing but a lot of the time it seems hypocritical.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hope his school situation improves. But the main thing I’m taking away from this, I have to be honest, is “I wonder how you say fuck you in German”. Off to Google Translate.

    Like

  3. 1) I caught up… (at least to this blog) YaH! 2)… Soap. That’s what my mom use to make us bite down on. I don’t know that it worked, but that’s what she did.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Paola I swear at work all the time the ‘F’ word the ‘C’ word the ‘S’ word, all day all of the time, you see since the age of 16 I’ve worked in men only work environments and in heavy engineering which is particularly bad, I’m not particularly proud I swear or that worried, bad language is the same for sailors and coal miners, there are times and places. I’ll swear on my blog and with other adults here just the same as all bloggers do, oh yes I’ve been here two years and we (95%) all swear, I read a married mom’s blog Sunday where she called her husband a c#nt but THIS is an adult playground and ok either way 🙂 🙂 we’re consenting adults and long may it be so.

    Hmm I’ve been thinking is it really ok here? YES, a time place 🙂

    HOWEVER when I work with students I never ever swear in front of them but I’m an adult so I know where and with who is appropriate but children I guess will only learn where is appropriate later in life, local footballers will swear at each other on the pitch all match but then stop when they’re with the girlfriends in the bar.

    So I would say, lol respectively, that in the home and with your mother isn’t an acceptable place, isn’t an acceptable environment, but out on the street with their friends is, with me it was!! So 🙂 I’m getting to my point, I would say try and make the home a completely non swearing zone by everyone and perhaps 🙂 should punishable, you know a swear box for you and penalties for the kids. A box could be fun, they see you’ve made a conscious decision that the home isn’t acceptable.

    HONEY I’ve known and read you everyday for well over a year so I understand how difficult 5 lovely kids can be for a single mum, you’re not one of these bloggers where life is rosy and ordered all of the time, you’re blog is how life actually is, sometimes raw, and one of the best I’ve ever read. I don’t honestly know how you do it, I could NOT and I know that for certain also you know I would never lecture because I like you to much. So as a start what do you think to a no swearing house, zero tolerance for everyone, a box for you could be a laugh.

    What do you thing Paola? xx xx (Lol right now I really hope you’re thinking Fuck You Andrew! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Btw I’m as frustrated a hell tonight and you know 😉 what happens! I haven’t sucked a boob nipple in so long that it’s driving me a little crazy 😀

      Liked by 1 person

      • Hahahaha 🙂
        I can say I understand you (but I wouldn’t say boob nipple 😀 )

        Liked by 1 person

      • I would say boob obsession attraction is part of a guys genetics, having seen my sister-in-law breast feed many many times I’ve seen how a babies attention automatically changes, they want desire the nipple and nothing else matters, however what’s also interesting is when she breast fed all three boys me witnessing WASN’T in the slightest bit sexual, a guys brain automatically switches to ‘she’s feeding so as to keep baby alive’.

        An interesting disassociation you know the separation between two opposing human reactions, large or small boob is of no consequence I just feel like I want it there and then now, to look touch and suck!

        Liked by 1 person

      • I breast fed all my kids for over a year each. When they were hungry, I just fed them and everything around me just faded. I didn’t care about anyone thinking anything. I just thought my baby was the most important thing in the world 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

    • Andrew, if I do a “swear box”, I’ll fill it in one day. Plus, I wouldn’t be me if I try to rearrange my brain so I don’t swear.
      I had that conversation with my grandfather a long time ago. I said to him: “How am I supposed to give emphasis if I don’t use a curse word?” 🙂
      He said: “you got a point”. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Paola 🙂 don’t ever change, you be you, if we had a swear box at work it would be full by 9am, your Grandfather has a point. I should have added we use the F word as an ‘in between’ ‘fill in word’ as well, hmm it’s a difficult one to say children you shouldn’t. I also thought afterwards I met a very classy lady 😉 called H and she’d say f#ck all the time, it was hilarious to listen to because she’s the first woman I’d ever met and rather cute to listen to, :/ a difficult one!.

    A very honest post, 🙂 never shy away from honesty Paola, lol I’ve always said that.

    Liked by 1 person

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