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Tuesday. Yesterday I went to pick my youngest son and the teacher called me to tell me: “He keeps saying f#$k you to the kids”. Oh shit. I knew that was going to happen because he kept saying it to me and to everyone else, all the time.
I called him in front of the teacher and said: “Your teacher is telling me that you said f#$k you to the other kids. Is that true?”
He looked at me and smiled. So I added: “I’m not smiling. This is very serious. Did you say f#$k you to the other kids?” He was silent looking at me. I went on: “Do you know what happens when you say that in this place? You are sent to the principal’s office” So I pointed at a door behind me. “Is that what you want?”.
He didn’t say a word so I kept talking: “Your teacher will tell me if you say it again, do you understand that?”. He looked down and kept silent.
I didn’t know what to tell to the teacher. I never know what to tell to the teacher. I can’t say: “He won’t say it again” because who knows if that’ll be true. So I went for a: “I hope he understood that he can’t say that to the other kids”.

When we left I told him I felt very sad about it and he started to cry. Not a fake cry, a humiliation cry. Those that come when someone tells you you did wrong.

A couple of hours later when all my kids were home I told them what had happened and how bad I felt. At that moment my youngest son looked up and said: “F#$k you” again, but this time in German. All my other kids bursted out laughing.
“WTF! That’s not funny! Not in English, not in German… Do you want me to tell your teacher?” I’m not sure how I managed not to laugh.

I say f#$k a lot of times a day. I’m pretty sure my kids learnt it from me. But I also tell them: “You better don’t say that outside our house because that’s not the way to talk”.

I’m glad he said it and that the teacher heard it. Maybe he learnt that at school you have to behave properly. I’d feel very bad if all the other kids already learnt to say f#$k you from him and I have 20 mothers against me.
I can’t deal with some mothers. I never could. I feel that some of them don’t understand that kids have a mind of their own and they blame the parents all the time.
I agree that many times the parents are the reason of many problems but it’s not always that way.
I feel that kids need to learn to defend themselves and solve their own problems without letting the parents get in the middle.

Kids can fight and 10 minutes later they are friends again. But when kids fight and the parents intervene, the fight never ends. Then the parents don’t want the kids playing together again and all that crap that can easily be avoided if the kids sort it out.

I don’t mean to let your kids get hurt by some bully (because I can strangle the bully with my bare hands), but when there is a little argument, just encourage your kid to solve the problem instead of letting him say: “Mummyyyyy!”.

~ by DotedOn on September 13, 2016.