776

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Monday. I couldn’t finish doing laundry and my house looks awful. As soon as I’m done with breakfast, I’ll go to work my ass off before the owner of the house gets here.
I’m still trying to convince myself that I work better under pressure but the truth is, I either need three butlers or a new brain.

I mentioned several times that I have a very weak throat and if I don’t protect it and keep it warm, there is a big chance that my tonsils get infected. If they do, I get a lot of pain and sometimes I need to go to the doctor because nothing seems to help except medicines. And I hate taking medicines so I do whatever it takes to avoid that. Sometimes I start having pain and the first thing I do is searching for home remedies. Other times, I stumble on some article talking about throat issues and for sure I read it because maybe I discover something I don’t know yet.
And that’s how I clicked on this article on Women’s Health Magazine and I read it.
Below the last paragraph, there was a title saying: “You might also like” and below that title, a few more articles with a picture each.
I’m not really sure if I also liked those articles but the title of one of them for sure caught my eye, so I had to click on it.

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“6 Things You Can Do to Pass The Time While Giving a Blow Job”. Now be honest with me, can you resist clicking on something like that? Well, I couldn’t. I needed to know what the article was about.

First, let me clarify. I’m not an expert on the matter and most things I know, I know them because some of my male friends told them to me.
So when I read the part of “Pass The Time”, the first thing that came to my mind was: “The author of the article has NO IDEA how to give one.
Because for what I know, it never takes that long that you need to pass the time”.
Still, I needed to know those 6 things.

1) Use Your Tongue to Play Word Games.

Eh?!? Did I click somewhere by accident and I’m reading the wrong article?? NO. I did not. They advise you to spell a word and then go on with another one starting with the letter that the first word finished. That way you strengthen your vocabulary and endurance.
Does that mean that you have to spell the words mentally or do it out loud… I can’t take that picture off my mind.

2) Play the Air Harmonica.

Again… WTF?! I don’t want to do a copy/paste here but I’m not sure I can write about it with my own words and let it clear for you. But for what I remember you play the harmonica by placing your lips on it and blowing, not putting it in your mouth… But ok.
The idea is to choose a song and picture each note while you are playing it, and if it’s possible, also remember the lyrics.
Sorry, but if I have the harmonica in my mouth I’m not sure I’d be able to multitask.

3) Practice Your Yoga Breathing.

I can’t remember how my yoga breathing was but I only hope it was only through the nose. For some reason only my “giving birth” breathing comes to my mind and I highly recommend you not to try it at that particular moment.

4) Challenge Yourself to a One-Person Game of “Would You Rather?”

Really?? I don’t want to sound vulgar so I won’t write what I’d rather be doing. But I’d like to know why someone accepts to give a blow job if they are not going to “be there” while they are doing it?
My heart is breaking right now. Some women really have no idea how to treat a man.

5) Guess Which of His Testicles Is Bigger.

OK, how long can that kind of guessing take? Half a second? You don’t pass much time that way, right??
What the author means is that you can use your hands to spot the difference… In that case, really you won’t need to pass the time.

6) See How Long You Can Go Without Getting a Pubic Hair In Your Mouth.

Holy f#$k! Do they expect me to count now?

I’m shaking my head. Now I can understand why some people take so long and need to pass the time. They are not present while they are doing it. What I don’t get is why they do it.
I’d advise they learn how to do it right and for sure they won’t need any time to pass.
I know there is a lot of information out there on the subject.

And now I have the need to apologize to you. Please forgive me if the next time you are giving a blow job any of these things pops up in your mind.

If you are interested in reading the whole article, click here.

You could also find other articles that may catch your eye.

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~ by DotedOn on October 10, 2016.

42 Responses to “776”

  1. Omg, this is a very interesting piece. This is a great BJ post, Boldly Juicy. Made me smile. Thanks for sharing this.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I often wondered what they were thinking about while sucking me, but yes you are right if a GF or wife is giving one out of duty rather than wanting to please her lover then that’s such a shame.. x

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh goodness, Paola! It does get boring sometimes though…ha, ha!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Paola, you know how someone says they spit all over their computer because they laughed? Well, I almost did! As I was reading this, I was drinking my coffee and when I got to #5, I almost choked because there was NO way I couldn’t actually laugh out loud!

    Of course, the first thing I thought of from the beginning is “If you’re not paying attention, how can you possibly give a good one?” I guess some of these “pastimes” are meant as helpful techniques? Sort of like Sam Kenison suggesting when a man is doing this for a woman that he write the alphabet with his tongue? It’s all stupid lol

    Anyway, your comments had me rolling! Thanks for the laugh, pal lol

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m glad you laughed, Donna!
      To be honest, I wish I could have a job like that… Writing crap for a magazine! How hard could that be 🙂

      And the alphabet thing made me really curious 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  5. OMG you had me laughing. Whoever wrote that article obviously has no understanding of the human anatomy. Nor have they given or received a blog job.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Paola your more quirky Posts make me smile because the comments are often just as interesting, what with Marissa being a little bored and Donna with her oral sex alphabet story you give opportunities for followers to say things you don’t often hear!!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Andrew, you never heard that Kinison routine? lol Do you know who he was? A very vulgar comedian. So vulgar it’s difficult to believe he was once a minister or something like that. For me, there were times he made me laugh, but he could get so vulgar, I was turned off when he went too far, at least in my opinion. Anyway, he died in a car crash a long time ago. If you’re curious and want to hear the routine, go here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Px4OYPxhQGk and it’s around minute 3:30 that he starts it.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Andrew, that video actually doesn’t have it! You would have to search “Sam Kinison lick the alphabet” to find it on YouTube. I can’t believe I’m even talking about this stuff! lol

        Liked by 2 people

      • “Lick the Alphabet”? Hahahahaha 😀
        I’m glad you are talking about this stuff! Feel at home here, you won’t be judged 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • 😮 Yikes! Crikey Donna lol I never thought you’d look back and read this one!!!I hope you’re not annoyed, I expect not knowing you, I’m being been warm and friendly and I NEVER ever bad mouth behind peoples back (my Grandma used to teach me “Andrew be careful because your sins will always catch you out”. For me the overriding joy to WordPress is having a place where people can say what they feel, you know be honest and trusting between on line friends and there’s not many places left where people are comfortable enough to open up and tell lol deep secrets (yes in my case) without fear of judgement……..and lol Paola ‘mother hen’ knows things about me that no other living soul knows about…lol… for over one year (omg yes!) I’ve appreciated her support and I think vice versa. …..btw Donna I think you’re adorable 🙂

        No I haven’t heard LOL of the Kinison routine, I’d forget where I was by G!!!! I will definitely watch Donna and yes I’m the same, a little vulgarity can be fun time to time.

        Andrew

        Liked by 2 people

      • All in moderation! 😀

        Liked by 2 people

      • Yes 🙂 Ty

        Liked by 1 person

      • I’ll be checking out that too! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • Thank you, Paola, I know 🙂 I’m very comfortable here which is why I even get into these conversations. It’s something I avoid like the plague anywhere else on the internet.

        You can probably imagine the many things I’d love to voice on the internet about our insane Presidential election, but I don’t. Firstly because I don’t want to get caught up in political discussion when this is the first time in my life I am this interested in it (due to the outrageous nature of it and how scary it is), and since my presence on the internet under this profiile is strictly as a writer/illustrator. I can’t play with that rep. I also just don’t want to spend my time that way. I have many more urgent things to worry about. This is one of the few blogs I allow myself to participate in in this way.

        I often wish I’d started participating on your blog under a different profile!

        Liked by 1 person

      • I can understand about the political discussion. It’ll be endless and pointless 🙂
        And you are right, it’s SCARY now 🙂

        You can always make another profile! 🙂 And please, keep participating. It’s fun to see how we can all disagree in many things and still keep it friendly 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • Andrew, PLEASE don’t be worried about saying something like that! I’M the one who mentioned it because it was what popped in my mind while reading this post lol You didn’t embarrass me at all, my dear 🙂

        Also, your grandmother was right! I wish I’d taken that line of advice more seriously when I was younger—and even as an adult! We all make mistakes in life, that’s for sure.

        And btw, you’re adorable, too 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

    • That’s the idea! I like when people feel at home here 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  7. I wouldn’t want to have to keep logging in and out :-\

    Liked by 1 person

  8. lmao this is hilarious! oh paola i’ laughing so hard! ❤ xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Yeah, it works for emails, though I have 11 different accounts, 4 of which I rarely use, 7 on aol, all for different purposes. I can switch back and forth between all my AOL ones easily and 6 of 4 of those I use all the time. Following blogs, though, especially on WordPress, is usually through whichever ID I’m under, lots of times through Twitter. Logging in and out of any of those things is a pain and I’m pretty much always logged in as WriterSideUp :-\

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I’m coming late to this conversation… and that might be a euphemism too… but, yeah… that article should have been titled “Things you can try to spice up your BJ techniques because we all know you suck at sucking”.

    And harmonica? Um.. my only thought on that one is using his shaft as the harmonica and going back and forth across it? Maybe? Even then… I’m still sitting here with a “really???” face on.

    Liked by 1 person

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