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Sunday. We changed the time last night. It’s past 1pm instead of 2pm. I know it’s only one hour difference but it’s amazing how much that stupid hour will mess up my week.
I really wish it doesn’t happen this time but from previous experiences, I know what to expect and it’s not only less day light.

Yesterday, together with my ex, we took the kids to an amusement park. It was nice and my kids enjoyed it very much.
Every time we went to a park, we formed two teams. I take my youngest son and daughter and my ex goes with my three oldest kids so they can go to all the attractions.
I don’t like heights, speed, free falling or spinning. That makes the list of attractions I like, really short.
Unfortunately, my son is still too short to ride many of the little kids’ attractions, so I ended up spinning much more than what I like or tolerate.
At one point I manned up and said to them: “Let’s go to the ferris wheel to see all the park from there”.

I still can’t believe I did such a thing. I was freaking proud of myself. It was around 1pm at the time.

Many hours later when it was dark and we were waiting for my oldest kids, I said: “Let’s go again to the ferris wheel and see all the park with the lights”

OMG. I don’t remember being so afraid in a very long time. The freaking cage where we were started to swing because it was windy. I couldn’t stop thinking that it was going to fall and we were going to die.
I had the idea to take pictures of the illuminated park from up there but I was afraid of moving my hand to take the iPod.
I started saying to my kids: “Don’t move! PLEASE DON’T F#$KING MOVE! Make it stop!!”
“Mom, are you OK?”
“Shut up, don’t talk or it’ll move even more”
“Do you know that we still have one more turn to go?”
“I can’t do it, I’ll ask the guy to let us go now”
She looked at me and said: “I’m getting scared now”

I’m not sure why and I really don’t care but that time instead of 2 rounds, we did only one and the guy opened our cage and let us go (without me asking, crying or begging).

I was shaking and my heart was beating twice as fast as normal.
“Mom, what happened? Why were you so scared?”
“I don’t like heights. I’m a pussy”
“Hahahaha”
“Yeah, that’s right! Your mom is a pussy!”

I got home exhausted. The fear took the little energy I had left. I’m only glad my kids had a good day.

~ by DotedOn on October 30, 2016.