Wednesday. Today is one of those days that I wish I could erase from the calendar. It’s only noon and I feel that I already had all I could handle for the day.

A bit after midnight last night when I was getting ready to go to bed, I saw something that I wasn’t ready to see just yet.

In case you don’t understand, THAT’S F#$KING SNOW!


An image is worth 1000 words and I had many more than 1000 words to describe that image. And they were not nice words.

This morning I had to go for the women’s annual checkup so my stress level was building up since I made the appointment in September.
I’m not sure if you remember from last year but I have issues with that subject. BIG ISSUES. You would think that after having 5 kids that would be a walk in the park for me but let me tell you, it’s not… I HATE IT. I have bad experiences with it and I’m terrified so last year when I made the appointment, I specifically asked for a female doctor.
When I got to the practice the receptionist told me: “Doctor XX is sick and doctor XZ is taking her patients today”.
“Ok… Is doctor XZ a woman too?”
I started to cry. I couldn’t breathe and I couldn’t say anything because my emotions didn’t let me.
I could hear the receptionist saying: “He’s very nice and gentle” but in my mind, I could only think that a huge German man with GIGANTIC hands was about to touch me.
“Would you like to make another appointment”
“When would that be?”
“In about 8 or 10 weeks”
“No, it’s fine”… But actually, it wasn’t fine. It was awful and I couldn’t stop crying.
I was told to wait in a waiting room until the doctor called me. After a bit I was called and I wish you could see my happy face when I saw a tiny little man introducing himself as Doctor XZ.
Since that day, I call him “Doctor Small Hands”. Which I think it’s a huge compliment if you are a gynecologist.

So this time when I had to make the appointment, I asked to see him again. That doesn’t mean that I was at all relaxed to do the check up and when this morning I saw that the stupid snow was still covering the car that I specially borrowed to go to the doctor, my stress level got a bit higher. I had to remove the snow and scratch the ice from the windshield and that took longer than expected.
Then I got to the doctor’s office and Doctor Small Hands wasn’t there. Luckily his daughter was taking his place and she’s also a very small woman with even smaller hands.
She checked and said that everything looked fine and if there was any problem, I was going to get a letter.

I thought that my day was improving but then I got home and I found a missed called from the kindergarten and several missed calls and messages from my ex saying that he had had an accident.

I started calling the kindergarten and texting my ex at the same time. Nobody picked the phone at the kindergarten and I was shaking.
Then my ex called and said he crashed his car on the left door and that he had lost the mirror. That meant that the plans of going to the consulate this afternoon to renew my passport, were cancelled.
I called again to the kindergarten and finally someone picked the phone. I asked why I was called earlier but nobody could give me an answer. After a while a teacher who speaks English said that my son was fine and that nobody knew why I had a missed call from them.

Yesterday I wrote notes to the school asking to allow my oldest kids to leave earlier so my ex could pick them up and we could go to get the passports but now he can’t use his car so I’ll have to go and pick them up because I have no way to tell them not to wait for their dad and get home. Also, at the same time that my oldest kids leave school, my younger kids get home and I should be here to open the door.

I could pick my younger kids first and then go to pick the oldest kids but I have only one car seat and I can’t leave alone 3 young kids of 4, 7 and 9 at home so I could go and pick the older ones.
I don’t know anyone who I could ask to watch my kids for a while either.

I only hope my oldest son who said he had lessons until 12.30pm decides to get home with the bus instead of waiting for his brother until 1.15pm.
I could call the school but I’m not sure I could explain all this in German and even if I could, I’m not sure if they will give my kids the right message.

I’m so overwhelmed right now. I wish I could just calm down and breathe but everywhere I look, I see snow and instead of relaxing, I get even more stressed.


What a day… what a f#$king day!

~ by DotedOn on November 9, 2016.

8 Responses to “806”

  1. You should find a female doctor with small hands. That’s what I did.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Um….breathe???

    Liked by 1 person

  3. So sorry you have such a rough day ahead of you. Just hang tight and it will pass. I know that’s not always comforting to hear, but it’s true.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Omg paola, what a friggin day! thinking about all that makes me feel so stressed! I hope everything gets worked out! xxx

    Liked by 1 person

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