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Friday. I was thinking the other day how different I am from my sister. We both have things that are pretty much the same but all the rest, it’s like day and night.
One of the biggest differences is that it’s really difficult to make me mad as it’s really difficult not to make my sister mad. She’s like a bomb with a very short wick.
If there is a saying that doesn’t agree with her is: “Dog that barks doesn’t bite”. That dog barks AND bites.
And she’s like those small dogs that are not afraid of the big dogs.

I mentioned before that I come from a country where some people (men) firmly believe that women don’t know how to drive. It doesn’t matter if you are a woman and you can drive much better than any man, according to these people, you belong in the kitchen.
I won’t say I’m a good driver but trust me, I got better (or the people in this country are more tolerant because so far, nobody here sent to “wash dishes” yet).
The few times I drove in Argentina, I was sent to “wash dishes” almost every time and I never got mad, on the contrary, I mostly smiled, blew some kisses or say something that no man in my country likes to hear: “Cornudo”. That’s when your woman is unfaithful to you. And because most men there are “machistas”, that freaking hurts. Also, if I knew they were not going to hear me, I just showed them my fingers.

The horns are only ok when you are in a rock concert.

So, there was this time that I was in the car with my sister. 95% of the times she was the driver (because I tend to get dreamy and completely forget what I’m doing).
She wanted to park the car but this guy went faster and took her spot. Man, she got mad! She started saying a lot of things to him but he pretended he didn’t hear her. So my sister went quietly and parked the car somewhere else.
When we got out she said to me: “Hold on, there is something I have to do first”
“OK…” And of course, I didn’t expect what it came next.
She walked to the guy’s car and started spitting on the windshield and handle.
“That’s really feminine of you. I hope nobody here sees you again”
“I don’t give a f#$k. If I could shit on it, trust me, I’d do it too”.

Then there was another time that we were going out dancing with a couple of friends. We mostly went every weekend to the same place. Just before they opened the doors there was a lot of people waiting outside. Among them there was this guy really tall and kind of wide too. You couldn’t miss him so easily.
When we passed near him and his friends, the guy said something and of course, my sister didn’t like it. Soon they started a discussion that got louder and louder and drew everyone’s attention.

My sister is 1.55m/5ft and this guy was for sure, 2 heads taller than her.
I was shaking my head and sensing trouble. I couldn’t stop thinking: “Why the chihuahua barks at the great dane? He could eat her in one bite!”
At one point the guy said to her really loud: “Why don’t you suck my dick?”
So she replied even louder: “Because I don’t suck on small things”.
Everyone around started laughing and the guy felt really bad. I believe he learned a lesson that day.
You better don’t piss little sister.

And IT’S FRIDAY, I’M IN LOVE! And I want to dedicate this song to Ingrid who suggested it after I told her what I did a few days ago: “You, Evil Woman! I believe you have the song for next Friday!”

Ingrid, this song is for you and for the Evil Woman in all of us.

(And I didn’t earn the title because I spat on anyone’s car or called a man short-dicked. I’m more classy, hahahahahaha).

Enjoy ELO,

EVIL WOMAN
(written by J. Lynne)

You made a fool of me
But them broken dreams have got to end

Hey, woman, you got the blues
‘Cause you ain’t got no one else to use
There’s an open road that leads nowhere
So just make some miles between here and there
There’s a hole in my head where the rain comes in
You took my body and played to win
Ha, ha, woman, it’s a cryin’ shame
But you ain’t got nobody else to blame

Evil woman
Evil woman
Evil woman
Evil woman

Rolled in from another town
Hit some gold, too hard to settle down
But a fool and his money soon go separate ways
And you found a fool lyin’ in a daze
Ha, ha, woman, what you gonna do
You destroyed all the virtues that the Lord gave you
It’s so good that you’re feelin’ pain
But you better get your face on board the very next train

Evil woman
Evil woman
Evil woman
Evil woman (hey hey hey)

Evil woman
Evil woman
Evil woman
Evil woman

Evil woman, how you done me wrong
But now you’re tryin’ to wail a diff’rent song
Ha, ha, funny, how you broke me up
You made the wine, now you drink a cup
I came runnin’ ev’ry time you cried
Thought I saw love smilin’ in your eyes
Ha, ha, very nice to know
That you ain’t got no place left to go

Evil woman
Evil woman
Evil woman (evil woman)
Evil woman

Evil woman (what an evil woman)
Evil woman (such an evil woman)
…

~ by DotedOn on November 18, 2016.