498 days to go

March 27th – 1 year 4 months and 12 days from today

9.03am I slept terribly. My little one woke me up 40 times. And now he has this new thing, he sings to himself to fall asleep. That’s adorable at 1.30pm, but trust me, it’s insufferable at 3.20am. I’m trying to understand why he wakes up. I guess some more teeth are coming. Or he just had a bad dream (or many).
This morning I was feeling completely tired and not inspired at all, plus this little monster is whining since he opened his eyes, which makes it even more difficult for me to concentrate and write. So I though of doing something else, like loading the washing machine and having breakfast.
I went downstairs, put the water to boil, loaded the machine and when I opened the fridge to get some milk for my little boy, I found that one of my other kids didn’t close properly the chocolate milk container and not only that, he (because I know for sure now that my second boy was the author), placed the container laying instead of standing.

And the result was my fridge FULL of chocolate milk. Did I ever mention I have some issues? And did I ever mention that really a few things disgust me? One of the things that makes me puke it’s when I see or hear someone spitting… I can’t stand it. I can see vomit or people vomit, it doesn’t affect me anymore. I can see or smell shit (I find a turd at least 4 times a week in the toilet). Snot is horrible but I HAD to get use to it (having snot on my shoulder is like a trademark for me). But the spitting really kills me. That, and milk!!! I can’t tolerate milk or any of its liquid or semi-liquid friends. I can’t touch it. If I do, I really wash my hands as if I had touched acid. I gag when I touch milk, it’s terrible!!
So this morning I had to clean my fridge. Every sponge full of chocolate milk turned my stomach to a point where I was nearly throwing up. I think you can guess my mood now.
I need a holiday. Alone! I don’t think I can do this much longer. And if I hear from the man again: “But this is what you wanted”, next time you see me it’ll be when the visiting hours allow it…

9.34am I really need to do something productive. I never mentioned this before. I have this jar called: “The One Way Ticket Jar”. I put there the money I earn selling my things. I have €48!! I know it’s not much but it’s a start! I only need €3952 more to pay the tickets… I’ll get there.
My washing machine just stopped, sign that I have to go! See you later.

10.02pm Still no deadline. I planted 15 freesia flower bulbs I didn’t know I had, so probably they were too old and won’t bloom. Going to bed soon, not feeling well.