00:37.4

Yesterday I went to the two supermarkets to look for this special sweet wine (Beerenauslese) and discovered that it was even more special than I thought because I spent around 10 minutes reading all the labels and couldn’t find any. So I thought, I’m not going back without getting a sweet wine. I started looking all the labels in search of the sweetest. Some of the wines have a graphic on the back. You can see one end saying DRY and the other end saying SWEET and a flag in between marking the sweetness. Very handy.
The one I bought, doesn’t have the graphic, but I couldn’t resist the name or the label (I’m such a softy!! I’m probably the only one falling for that).

My plan was drinking my wine while taking a bath. I needed my reward. But after I got home, things started going differently. First, the man came to pick my kids. I told him something that happened a few weeks ago. He couldn’t believe it. Later he called and shouted at me because I forgot to give the kids a jacket… I was about to say: “Bye” but he hung up just before. So I wrote a message saying: “I decided to end our relationship for things like this one, you don’t have to blame anything or anyone else. I was fed up of you treating me like I never did anything, or if I did it, I did it in the wrong way. For once, get it!!”. Later he called again. This time to apologize and when I asked if they had finished dinner he said in a not so friendly way: “No, I’m alone here, I couldn’t finish cooking”. So I said bye. And wrote a message: “I’m alone here too. Or what do you think? That I’m getting any help?” And a bit later he called again and apologized one more time. “Listen, I KNOW how hard it is. Deal with it. I’m not calling you every 5 minutes when I feel lost or overwhelmed”. Three minutes later, he wrote a message apologizing, probably he thought I wasn’t paying attention. I’m fed up. I only said: “OK”.

After that, I got a message from a friend who’s very special to me. I can say he saved my life. Random player in Words with Friends. I met him in May 2012. He was there when nobody else was there. The day that Cutie was born, when I was transferred to my room, the nurse approached the man and said: “You can sleep here if you wish, that way, during the night when the baby has to eat or needs a clean diaper, you can help her”. Guess what? He didn’t stay. He was too tired because the previous night he hadn’t sleep enough because I wasn’t feeling well and kept the light on all the night. What a bitch I am…
This friend of mine knew I was overdue and that that Friday, I was going to be induced. He said: “Really next Friday? I won’t be here. I have clients meetings the entire day. But you can do this: Get the song “Hallelujah”, but be sure to get the one sang by Leonard Cohen. If you feel bad, just listen to that song. I’ll be there with you”. So I asked my son if I could borrow his iPod (I didn’t have one then) to take to the hospital.
So that evening, after the man left I was thinking about all that happened that day (one of the worst days of my life (you can read more here https://dotedon.wordpress.com/2014/06/25/408-days-to-go/)) and then I saw a message popping on the iPod. “Here for a few minutes, I just needed to check you were fine”.
So, he kept checking on me. Everyday. Since I hit “Random Player”. He knew I wasn’t ok.
Yesterday he sent me this.

Thank you Mr. G 🙂
After reading that and smiling, I started to cry. I guess that’s what happens when you look for something in the shit. The stench comes out. And the pile of shit I still have inside is big.

This message and Mandy’s comment made me smile again.

I’m trying to think that all this shit one day will be like compost for my garden. For now, it’s still fresh.
So in the end, I opened the bottle and got myself a cup. A Hello Kitty cup because I didn’t feel like loading the dishwasher the past 3 days or washing a glass. So you can see that I’m still me 😀

Friday, I wish I was in love… But you saw this one coming.

“Hallelujah”
(By: Leonard Cohen, Theresa Christina Calonge de Sa Mattos)

I’ve heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don’t really care for music, do you?
It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty in the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you to a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Baby I have been here before
I know this room, I’ve walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you.
I’ve seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not a victory march
It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

There was a time when you let me know
What’s really going on below
But now you never show it to me, do you?
And remember when I moved in you
The holy dove was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Maybe there’s a God above
But all I’ve ever learned from love
Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
It’s not a cry you can hear at night
It’s not somebody who has seen the light
It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

You say I took the name in vain
I don’t even know the name
But if I did, well, really, what’s it to you?
There’s a blaze of light in every word
It doesn’t matter which you heard
The holy or the broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

I did my best, it wasn’t much
I couldn’t feel, so I tried to touch
I’ve told the truth, I didn’t come to fool you
And even though it all went wrong
I’ll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah

Leonard Cohen was born the same the that Cutie but 78 years earlier.
And if you plan to look for the video, the one “Live in London” is the best 🙂

~ by DotedOn on October 3, 2014.